After my wife died (12-15-89), I lost interest in just about everything. I'd wake-up each morning and wonder why I should even bother to get up. Then several things began to occupy my attention. A friend asked me to acquire the incomplete revision of our late friend John Donnelley's book and complete it. By the time it was obvious that wasn't going to work-out, I'd gotten too interested and too involved to drop it -- so I researched, wrote, illustrated, and published my first Custom Cartridges book.
That work led to articles for Varmint Hunter, acquisition of the Powley ballistics library and papers, etc, (and the inspiration for establishing the Powley Center with a range, lab, and museum), and more books. (I'm working on eight books now, and a passel of articles for three magazines.)
Never dormant very deep or for very long, my old love for varmint-shooting surged to the surface and became my first love for shooting afield.
A newly met friend asked me to play around with the '06 case to see what I could do to design the ultimate .338, 358, and .375 cartridges on it. That led to the design of twelve new Howell catridges, about half of which are now factory-loaded and very satisfying to the shooters who hunt with 'em.
Also, checking a few on-line discussion forums like this one put me in touch with a great community of other gun folks, which further enhanced and increased my interest in the above topics and projects.
I haven't had a moment of boredom or self-pity for longer than I can remember. A stroke knocked me off my feet and nearly killed me (7-1-01), but about six weeks in hospitals and a few months of in-home therapy put me back on my feet (in a very loose way of speaking!). I'm still physically "disabled" (technically) but have no problem with the fact that I'll never be able to hunt big game or even upland birds again. I have plenty to keep my MIND occupied and my time filled.
I could use more time. Studies in calculus, physics, and other topics inadequately learned in college don't get enough of my schedule. I'll have enough to do and to think about for at least another twenty years.
Not a day has brought boredom or depression. While I was in the hospital, realization and acceptance of the raw facts of life led me to swear that although this *&^%$#@! paralysis and weakness may yet kill me, it ain't gonna lick me!
This summer's plans include two prairie-dog shoots, one of which will regrettably be on the same dates as the third such shoot that I got invited to. I hope there'll be other opportunities like these two. I can still drive anywhere in my old F150, get myself into a grocery store or motel room without help, set-up my shooting bench in the field, etc. I just take a little longer to do even the simplest chores, that's all.
Throw yourself eagerly into any and all new interests and any reborn old interests, and don't give yourself time to mourn the passing or thinning of other old interests. I think the main key is keeping your mind engaged, occupied, busy. For me, at least, the inability to engage and occupy my body and muscles in any of those delightful old pastimes is dim in the background. I'm almost completely content -- wouldn't mind being weak and unable to walk, if I could only swallow food and drink. Almost content but thoroughly enjoying life.
Don't give up. Ever. And don't look back at anything back there that discourages you or makes your outlook seem the least bit bleak.
