Here is another good batch of the offensive...I'm counting on the software to do my editing of profanity.
Warning: These jokes may offend you....if so, too bad.
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Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, �[bleep] that � knowing my luck, I�d win one!�
What�s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn�t claim benefits, had his own [bleep] bike, and wanted to go home!
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed.
The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes and the guy says, �I can�t believe they [bleep] my wife after only five beers!�
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Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. �Can I stay at your house for a while?
The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
It just reaches the back of her sister�s throat!�
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* Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, �It�s my husband! Quick, try the back door!�
Thinking back, I really should have ran � but you don�t get offers like that every day.
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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the [bleep] out of this idiot at a party. In my defense�when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
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My wife just came in and said, �I don�t know if I am coming or going.
�I said to her, �Judging by the look on your face, you�re going � �cus when you�re coming, you look like a [bleep] Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!�
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I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I [bleep] a girl called Penny � is that spooky or what?
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