As a general rule with stick or flake powders I try to use the mildest primer that works well. According to the ratings I've seen that means Federal 210 and CCI-200 for rifles.

For .223 with TAC (ball powder) I use the hotter Winchester Small Rifle and have a few Remington 7 1/2 left over.

In pistols I always had a soft sport for CCI so go with CCI-300 and CCI-500. I also use Fed 150 and some Fed 100.

Only primers I ever had a problem with were a batch of Rem 9 1/2 large rifle. Two out of a box perforated right at the outer edge of the pocket, this with a very sane .270 load. They impressed me with how destructive a jet of gas can be. Two tiny pin pricks but they each burned away a divot from the bolt face of the Model 70.

I have some magnum primers in each style but don't use them hardly at all, maybe to experiment with now and then to see if they give better groups or lower SD's with ball powder.

Gunnery, gunnery, gunnery.
Hit the target, all else is twaddle!