|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 51
Campfire Greenhorn
|
OP
Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 51 |
Got this over email, oldie but goodie. Gotta go get some brake fluid and clorox
a) For those who have grown children - this is totally hysterical! b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-y ear old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,997
Campfire Outfitter
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,997 |
Ok, how many of you are going to try the brake fluid/Clorox thingy?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Did a long time ago, if you use dry pool chlorine it will start a big fire!
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375
Campfire Regular
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375 |
T Lee, this was a hoot! Now I have to go get some dry pool chlorine...mine's a salt system...
Al
"Anyone who willfully and maliciously attacks another without sufficient cause deserves no consideration" - Col. Jeff Cooper Sic vis pacem, para bellum
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,597
Campfire Regular
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,597 |
You can't play a peanut butter and jelly sammich in the VCR.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." - C.S. Lewis
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Do in WELL ventilated area, the smoke is EXTREMELY TOXIC!!!!!!
BE DAMN CAREFUL!
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
|
|
|
|
599 members (22250rem, 10gaugemag, 10ring1, 007FJ, 1lessdog, 219DW, 62 invisible),
2,532
guests, and
1,337
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,192,202
Posts18,485,245
Members73,966
|
Most Online11,491 Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|