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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 3,582 Likes: 4
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 3,582 Likes: 4 |
We all know how literally impossible it is to not offend SOMEONE these days, everyone is just SO FREAKIN' TOUCHY... So this guide will help you on how to speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,375 |
Don't know how I missed this one..I like it.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Al
"Anyone who willfully and maliciously attacks another without sufficient cause deserves no consideration" - Col. Jeff Cooper
Sic vis pacem, para bellum
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,811
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,811 |
That's funny. Glad I stopped by. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> m
muddy
"A good judge applies the law as it is, not as she wants it to be", Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 87
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 87 |
Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer Give 'em heck Alabama
Alabama Crimson Tide 2009 National Champions.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 27,692
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 27,692 |
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
HBB
Member: Clan of the Turdlike People.
Courage is Fear that has said its Prayers
�If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.� Ronald Reagan.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 11
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 11 |
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