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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 28,172
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 28,172 |
"Honey, we had a great hunt, jumped three big chuckar covys, had a lot of shooting, and we don't have to clean any birds." That is a dierct quote from me to my wife on Thursday after my 73 y/o boyhood friend and I went to a great chuckar spot. 
Hunt with Class and Classics
Religion: A founder of The Church of Spray and Pray
Acquit v. t. To render a judgment in a murder case in San Francisco... EQUAL, adj. As bad as something else. Ambrose Bierce “The Devil's Dictionary”
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,737
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,737 |
My lead black skinner in the camp in South Africa, Telling the landowner the skinning shed drain was backed up:
"When Jim is here our drains are always clogged with blood."
John Peyton's quote in my personal tag line is still my favorite!
www.huntingadventures.netAre you living your life, or just paying bills until you die? When you hit the pearly gates I want to be there just to see the massive pile of dead 5hit at your feet. ( John Peyton)
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,969
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,969 |
From my brother to my son, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." When I mentioned that I didn't take a shot, one of the other guys in camp said "You gotta put some lead in the air." KC
Wind in my hair, Sun on my face, I gazed at the wide open spaces, And I was at home.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 |
From my brother to my son, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." I'm not Mathman, but isn't that sort of like dividing by zero.
If you put Taco Bell sauce in your ramen noodles it tastes just like poverty
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,571
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,571 |
"My dogs retrieve/mind/have never messed with a skunk and won't chase deer".
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,688
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 2,688 |
Many years ago on my first elk hunting trip one of the old fellows gave me the best advice ever: "You can forget your gun, forget your compass, forget your water, but NEVER forget your toilet paper."
I don't eat anything that didn't have a mother.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336 |
Between my mom and dad on dad coming home from huntin camp.
Mom: Did you shoot anything
Dad: Never fired my gun
Mom: No wonder, your gun is over there in corner.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,689
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,689 |
just got in from a whitetail hunt. first time i have hunted with my son. we didn't see anything, but he said, "that ok, we had some good conversation"
if a man speaks, and there isn't a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,359
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,359 |
Between my mom and dad on dad coming home from huntin camp.
Mom: Did you shoot anything
Dad: Never fired my gun
Mom: No wonder, your gun is over there in corner. ROFL! good one!
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,757
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,757 |
I started deer hunting over 30 years ago at the age of 14 and had never seen a deer gutted out since dad didn't hunt deer. I asked our youth pastor who was from the sticks how to gut a deer. Without missing a beat he said in his southern drawl "just open him up and take everything out". To this day that is the best and most succinct deer field dressing instructions I have ever come across.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,080
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,080 |
"Eat like pigs, drink like fish, lie like lawyers, and don't admit to nuthin'"
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336 |
While hunting in a very hard to draw area on a really cold day, I was approached by the game deputy while I was right in the middle
of taking a dump. Deputy says he needed to see my license. I told him if he would wait a minute, I'd get him the paperwork.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,336 |
A guy I know was sitting on the lake shore holding a fishing pole when the fish warden showed up and asked to see his license. The guy says he doesn't need a license because he wasn't fishing he was just holding the pole for a friend till he got back
The warden asked him if that was a line attached to the pole running out into the water? He answered yes.
Then the warden asked if there is a hook on that line? The guy says of course.
And then the warden asked if there is any bait on that hook? The guy says I think so.
And the warden says "around here we call that fishing".,,,
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 954
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 954 |
I started deer hunting over 30 years ago at the age of 14 and had never seen a deer gutted out since dad didn't hunt deer. I asked our youth pastor who was from the sticks how to gut a deer. Without missing a beat he said in his southern drawl "just open him up and take everything out". To this day that is the best and most succinct deer field dressing instructions I have ever come across. Sounds like what I told my friend 30 years ago when he killed his first deer, he called and wanted to know what to do. I said " Take all the stuff on the inside, and put it on the outside" KC
You can easily vote your way in to Socialism; but you'll have to shoot your way out.
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 976
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 976 |
Got checked by a warden in the parking area of a state park while pheasant hunting. As he was looking at our licenses the dog takes a dump in the middle of the parking lot.
Warden: “Are you gonna pick that up?”
Dog’s owner: “No, you can have it”
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John
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 32,130 |
Between my mom and dad on dad coming home from huntin camp.
Mom: Did you shoot anything
Dad: Never fired my gun
Mom: No wonder, your gun is over there in corner. Those were the days! LOL
If you put Taco Bell sauce in your ramen noodles it tastes just like poverty
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,611 |
“Open the action on your rifle so I can see where I'm going,” said by a grouchy old friend of mine to a new hunter who was careless where his rifle pointed.
Posted some time in the past but I like it and our family repeats it when anyone gets careless.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,194
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,194 |
On why a hunter missed, "He was shakin like a dog chittin peach seeds". Hey!  That's one of my favorites sayings! 
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6,908
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6,908 |
A friend's grandfather who was from the Deep South, poor Mississippi delta farmer. Guy was full of it, funny as hell and tougher than nails. He would always say: "When it's too tough for you, it's just right for me."
Not specifically hunting oriented, but said it in any situation when someone started bitchin.
Montana MOFO
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,564
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,564 |
You are dumber than duck $hit on an iced pond
-coach
Last edited by CBB15; 12/17/17.
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