Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire If Your Wife Is Lost In The Forest

Let's be nice here and assume that you 1) have one and 2) want her back. Do you have a sure-fire way of finding her? I sleep very easy knowing that I could find mine (actually, she would find me) in less than 5 minutes anywhere on Earth. All I would have to do is to start preparing a meal (or some part thereof) in our small kitchen, and she would magically appear, putting away the clean dishes from the drain rack, needing to be where I am, be it stove, counter, hanging from the light fixture - you name it.

And always standing between you and what you need.... I know this one!

How bout starting up a conversation with 10 mins left of the hour long show you've been watching.

Couldn’t lose mine if I wanted to. She is same way about her kitchen. Doesn’t want anyone, even other women in there.

Mine does that too! They all must be related.

I thought it was just me.

Kent

Mine doesn't know where the kitchen is.

I do all the cooking. (I've watched her try... that's why I do.)

I would just reach for the thermostat to turn it down. Magic.

I'd send her cats to rescue her.

Or start a load of laundry. She'll come running to be sure I don't have things mixed up.

I'd try to wash the dishes. She'd come running and tell me that's her job and for me to go relax, tie some flies or reload some rifle ammo. She's an absolute gem.

Yes, she's a runner and has a set of lungs like a Thoroughbred mare, I'm sure I could hear her hollering for me and see the pine cones dropping from the blast wave, the other part, we move together about the kitchen like a pair of pros, never in each others way, hell, on the back porch grilling, i'll turn up and empty a beer bottle about the time she's coming out the back door with a fresh cold one!

I don't care if it was the middle of the Congo. All I'd have to do is lay my jacket over the back of a chair.

The sheriff told me my wife was missing & did I have suggestions on how to find her.

I said; wait, I'll go piss on the rim.

I'd order something for hunting online, she'd magically appear slightly put out. She hates the spending of money.

Brave men all, never forget, this is an open internet site.

No wife now. But for my former wife ,I’d just have to get ready to spend some money and she’d appear for sure.

I spend all I want and she doesn't say boo....Lucky me