Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire "Temperance" - How did you aquire it.?

The one thing I fear when anyone talks about anger management is succumbing to indifference. Some things are important enough to get pissed about. Some are stupid and don't warrant stealing your peace. I guess the key is recognizing the stuff that you shouldn't give a damn about and figuring out how to not let it bother you, while also not being a pussy about important things that you need to take a stand on.

Meditation and exercise, no days off, works wonders. Try it, not only will it help your temper, but your health and overall well being will improve.

I've yet to acquire it, have stayed on this farm for more than 30 days straight without seeing or hearing [short of Wife and answering buddies phone calls] from another human being, it's wonderful and available at any time, knew early on I wasn't a people person.

Class clowns, and those so small they're plagued with the need to perform for recognition and 'validation' are especially annoying, their 'smallness/weakness' is especially pathetic, reminds me of my little sis' piano recitals, I was there, I heard, but didn't pay any attention!

Lol, nonsense, has nothing to do with weakness. Leave the pop-psych spin to Oprah and Ellen.

The lack of ability to identify emotions is no more and no less a result of our culture’s lack of investment in the development of boys. We can thank the Estrogen Ocean that is our school system for that.

Need me to make a beer run?

Got it covered Slim Jim, but Thanks, also have about 18 quarts of homemade muscadine wine chillin' in the fridge out in the shop.

I commited my life to Jesus. My languagne cleaned up without me knowing it. I quit smoking and discovered it because my smokes were still in my pocket three days later. It took a couple years before I realized I didn't obey the speed limit. Now I do. My anger took about a year and I felt it leave. It was an interesting feeling. My prejudice against some people took about a year to disappear when I realized Jesus died for everyone.

A person who resorts to anger and beats his wife
or abuses people/or holds a grudge over every
little thing that upsets him, is a weak person.



Angry people may well identify their emotions
but don't like what they see and go into denial
and find convenient but poor coping/compensating
mechanisms like anger, rage, violence, etc.

Doctor took blood tests, the results came back as he suspected.
My cortisol levels were through the roof.

He asked be for the condensed version of my life story, once heard, he immediately prescribed treatment for unresolved trauma and PTSD.


Good call Jake.

Glad to hear that, Pard.

Took courage to ask what you asked here. Hope that things turn in your favor and that life’s Quality improves for you going forward.

Take care and stay well.

Whatever

Another vote for the serenity prayer..... great for routine day to day maintenance... likely not enough alone to resolve PTSD. Did your doc have referral suggestions for his prescription?

Yes 2ndwind, he did.

I have three persons that all specialize in PTSD available to me, each having clients who have made great strides. I'm in the process now of conversing with each. I'm appreciative of each, and by way of conversation I am feeling them out - so to speak, because one will be a better "fit" for me specifically than the others - if that makes any sense.

I'm actually quite excited to begin the work - I have some really GOOD things going for me in this season of my life.

This for me has been a really GOOD discovery - its akin to trying to read in dim light, yet the closer to the light we get more becomes evident and easier to identify and comprehend - and address.

I'm not superstitious- but astrology says I am Leo. I dont need astrology to break down my personality for me to know who I am and what I'm made of - my track record of setting my goals AND my mind to something is well known - and odds are very high that I will conquer my demons and accomplish my goals.

Sometimes there is a need to set aside pride and ask for help - thus my asking here - I have seen good, solid, men here on the forum over the years - many much more advanced than I. So not only is it knowing the need to ask, but also knowing what to ask, and who to ask🙂.

Thankfully, I inherited my grandfather's even temper and ability to see things in a positive light. He was the MOST positive influence in my life.
My dad, although I loved him and miss him, had a fiery temper and always seemed to be full of anger just waiting for an opportunity to explode.
Grandpop lived into his 90's and enjoyed exceptional health right up to the end (pneumonia), while my dad passed at age 69. It sort of tells you something, doesn't it?

I'm not sure I have.

Court costs and an ankle bracelet






Bob

Most of us call it growing.up. I'm no one's therapist but maybe a qualified person could help you unpack the issues. Beyond that go to church and get deeply involved with the Bible. It's all there. Good luck.

358wsm;
Good morning to you sir, if you're still up north then it's reasonably early for both of us. Since you've stated where you're at, I'll just say that I trust all is as well as can be perhaps?

We had owls outside the open window at 4:30 and a retired, geriatric cat outside the bedroom door about then too, so since I can't sleep much anyways I'm up and now hear the neighbor's rooster across the gully is warming up for the morning session as well.

What you've asked is not a simple thing for some of us and since we're all the sum of our parts it's tough to begin to advise anyone else on matters such as these, you know?

Throughout the first half of my life, I had a fairly quick temper and wasn't shy about showing it. Perhaps being less than 5'6" means that I've got small man syndrome hard wired into me? Like as not it didn't help...

As you know, I profess to be a Christian, but honestly have never prayed for any of the traditional spiritual gifts other than wisdom on several occasions. I consider my faith in a being that is greater than myself and in control of my life to be absolutely part of the process, but as I've often said as well, I am not here to convert anyone to the way I believe. I've got my hands full enough trying to keep between the ditches, as I suspect is the case with others as well.

That said then, one of my lifelong goals had been to develop into an adequately competent horseman, so when we bought the place we're still calling home, put in the fencing, horse and hay shelter and then found a couple horses, the real work began - on me.

What I became acutely aware of is that horses don't understand English whatsoever - they only read body language.

If I wanted to convince them to do things that they didn't want to - say standing in proximity of gun fire or packing a bloody, dismembered deer, then I absolutely had to both develop the patience of Job and exude only a calm outer demeanor if I wanted to get anywhere at all with them.

So then I began to learn to control my body language, which - for me - I couldn't do without controlling my emotions. I've never been anything less than transparent - likely nowhere to hide it on a small guy I figure - so I couldn't fake not being angry. I had to not be angry.

After a few weeks of daily practice - didn't matter how idiotic the day at the cabinet shop had been, I had to put it all behind me when I'd walk into the horse pen. Through that daily, intentional practice of controlling my emotions and not letting them control my body language, I began to make headway with the ponies.

One day after convincing our gelding to do something he considered particularly heinous previously, it came to me in an epiphany that if I could control my emotions for 4 legged creatures, I could do it for 2 leggeds as well, you know?

Anyways on the horse thing, I wasn't totally successful with the gelding in all ways, but the mare got to the point where I could skin out a buck, drape the fresh hide over her back, drag it up onto her neck and head like a shawl and feed her apples from my bloody hands and she'd just ask for another apple! Success!!!

While my fellow man disappoints me on a daily, continual basis, I am not angry with them any longer - but - and here's the thing, it takes daily and sometimes hourly within the day conscious effort. It should be noted too, that I don't mind spending the energy on said effort as I prefer living with the results.

Hopefully that made some sense and was at least useful as comic relief if nothing else!

All the best to you in this endeavor, I believe it's a worthwhile one to try to address.

Dwayne

By devouring the Word of God after my salvation.

Dwayne,

Thank you Sir.

I always thoroughly enjoy your writings and communication style.
And thank you for sharing the horse analogy and story - I'm intrigued by their way, and really enjoy learning ther flow.

Thanks again.