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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,442 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,442 Likes: 1 |
THE JOKES MY DAD USED TO TELL.....
A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognised an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.
The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot.
"Could you give me some tips?" he asked. The old man said "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg". "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Sure will".
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy.
"Got any more tips?" "Yep" said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that'll give you a smoother draw". "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "You bet it will" said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here".
"Got any more tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it".
The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No" said the old-timer "I mean smear it ALL OVER the gun - handle and all".
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "No" said the old-timer "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun right up your arse, and it won't hurt half as much".
I prefer classic.
Semper Fi
I used to run with the hare. Now I'm envious of the tortoise and I do my own stunts but rarely intentionally
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573 |
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,275 Likes: 12
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,275 Likes: 12 |
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,157 Likes: 13
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,157 Likes: 13 |
Me and Mrs Dan are howling!
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258 |
Ed
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes the person who never asks is a fool forever.
The worst slaves are those that put the chains on themselves.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,579 Likes: 1
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,579 Likes: 1 |
I tend to use more than enough gun
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Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 132
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 132 |
USMC Distinguished Marksman (Rifle) USMC Distinguished Pistol Shot CMP Distinguished .22 Pistol Average hunter, at best... 
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,742 Likes: 14
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,742 Likes: 14 |
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,314 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,314 Likes: 2 |
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,222 Likes: 15
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,222 Likes: 15 |
Berry good.
Huckleberry that is.
-OMotS
"If memory serves fails me..."
Quote: ( unnamed) "been prtty deep in the cooler todaay "
Television and radio are most effective when people question little and think even less.
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 5,569
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 5,569 |
Best one I've read in years 😂
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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