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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,883 Likes: 60
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,883 Likes: 60 |
my eye doctor buddy who pretty much grew up with my brothers and I and put himself through school working for me, moved back from PA after he sold his practice, he loves playing golf and bought a extra set of clubs so i could play when i have time. You would never know he is Dr if you met him, shorts t [bleep] and flip flops.
I get it. But most golf courses I've been around won't let you tee off if you're dressed like that. What? You gotta be dressed like a coked out Cuban pimp? Only if you're John Daly. That dudes pretty cool. Even for a golfer.
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,000
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,000 |
John Daly is definitely 'the guy momma warned you about". Google some Youtube of him and Kid Rock playing some charity tournaments.
He went over yonder way
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,412 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,412 Likes: 2 |
The only people that are not entitled to mock golfers are birdwatchers and reenactors, except for KW, he is cool w/out trying.
mike r
Do you play golf? Or do lay out quietly in the woods all day long, ignoring the fire ants, claymore buried in the sand trap, smoking a cigarette while waiting for golfers to enter the kill zone? Or did I get the last part backwards? No one smokes while in ambush,dumbass mike r
Don't wish it were easier Wish you were better
Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that. Craig Douglas ECQC
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,127
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,127 |
Alright, I golf. Actually golf a lot. Even do it for a living - work in the industry that is. A few tips for the newbie:
Those plaid shorts of yours? Perfect.
Only drink beer while on the course (preferably Bud Light in cans) - clubhouse is for martinis or Manhattan type cocktails.
Golf carts are okay, NEVER carry your clubs or egads, a pull cart. Caddies are even better. $50 minimum tip.
Even if you play with Topflite brand balls or the like; when someone asks you "what are you playing" when you have a lost ball, always say "Pro V1". They'll think you're a baller. Maybe you'll get a free $5 ball out of the deal.
Gimmes are only taken when offered. That being said, offer the first gimme. It'll soften up your playing partner.
Footwedge only when you're positive you can't be seen. Same with taking a piss - make sure you're in the woods out-of-bounds. This will come after multiple Bud Lights and there's never a restroom around when you need it on a golf course. Regarding going #2, plan ahead. Golf towels can be used in a pinch. BTDT.
Only yell FORE when you're reasonably sure someone is going to get hit. Maybe for near misses too. Keep it to a minimum. People will think you're a hack if you do it too much.
Don't throw clubs, yell expletives, or have a general temper tantrum when you hit a bad shot. It's inevitable in golf, even for the best pros. Quiet pain like an Apache being thrown off a cliff also shows you're a baller.
When you shank one 2 fairways over, own it. When you hit it on the green from there people will think you're a baller.
Too much time at the ball washer and people will talk.
Tip when they take the clubs from your car, tip the help that cleans and loads your clubs after the round, and for the love of God - tip the beer cart girl well. She'll come back to see you more often.
You're away, sir.
I've got to rethink my anti golf thing I'm picking up what you're putting down here CF
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,208 Likes: 9
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,208 Likes: 9 |
I find watching golf on a Saturday is a great way to take a nap.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,377 Likes: 10
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,377 Likes: 10 |
Actually golfing is much more fun than watching golf on tv.
_______________________________________________________ An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,127
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,127 |
I find watching golf on a Saturday is a great way to take a nap. I used to like watching it with level 10 hangovers back in my heavy drinkin days... all that soft green and whispering was soothing
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,000
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,000 |
Salty, there's a couple of those tournaments now where one of the Par 3's is completely surrounded by grandstands. Like a Metallica concert when guys step up on the box and drop one a foot from the hole.
He went over yonder way
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,960 Likes: 8
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,960 Likes: 8 |
The only people that are not entitled to mock golfers are birdwatchers and reenactors, except for KW, he is cool w/out trying.
mike r
Do you play golf? Or do lay out quietly in the woods all day long, ignoring the fire ants, claymore buried in the sand trap, smoking a cigarette while waiting for golfers to enter the kill zone? Or did I get the last part backwards? No one smokes while in ambush,dumbass mike r It’s all good, the way I look at it, laying out there, you get to enjoy golf too
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,344 Likes: 34
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,344 Likes: 34 |
Remsen, Did you see little Tarqueens meltdown?
LOL Indeed, I did. I was most impressed that he seemed to think that having a wife who pays the bills was somehow a negative. My wife pulls down seven figures as I post pictures of soup. I am proud of that. Matzo Ball? Chiggen paws!
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time. --Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice. --ironbender
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,412 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,412 Likes: 2 |
The only people that are not entitled to mock golfers are birdwatchers and reenactors, except for KW, he is cool w/out trying.
mike r
Do you play golf? Or do lay out quietly in the woods all day long, ignoring the fire ants, claymore buried in the sand trap, smoking a cigarette while waiting for golfers to enter the kill zone? Or did I get the last part backwards? No one smokes while in ambush,dumbass mike r It’s all good, the way I look at it, laying out there, you get to enjoy golf too , You try too hard. mike r
Don't wish it were easier Wish you were better
Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that. Craig Douglas ECQC
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208 |
I took this sport up a couple months ago and I couldn't believe the number of parallels between hunting and shooting.
I play four to five days a week since the Believers shut down my local USPSA. It has been a fine substitute.
Does anybody else here love golf? I know duck911 loves golf. Maybe you two can link up and play couple games. Then enjoy some dessert coffee..xoxoxoxo Yes, I have a 4 handicap. Played (intermural) in college. Was too busy parting to play collegiately. Love me some golf, 2-3 days a week (rounds), another day or two pitching and putting for practice. I have a hard time believing any respectable golf course would let deflave in the course. If for no other reason than drunk driving, rolling golf carts.
The DIPCHIT ADD, after a morning of drinking:
You despair, repeatedly, constantly! daily basis? A despair ninny. Sack up, despire ninny.
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 4,832 Likes: 2
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 4,832 Likes: 2 |
my eye doctor buddy who pretty much grew up with my brothers and I and put himself through school working for me, moved back from PA after he sold his practice, he loves playing golf and bought a extra set of clubs so i could play when i have time. You would never know he is Dr if you met him, shorts t [bleep] and flip flops.
I get it. But most golf courses I've been around won't let you tee off if you're dressed like that. What? You gotta be dressed like a coked out Cuban pimp? Only if you're John Daly. That dudes pretty cool. Even for a golfer. If'n you want to meet JD, go to Augusta, GA the first weekend in April. Look for a quarter million dollar RV parked along side Hooter's on Washington (main drag). $20 bucks gets you a t-shirt with his signature on it. It may or may not have a cigarette burn on it too.
"A Republic, if you can keep it." ~ B. Franklin
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,192 Likes: 29
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,192 Likes: 29 |
Alright, I golf. Actually golf a lot. Even do it for a living - work in the industry that is. A few tips for the newbie:
Those plaid shorts of yours? Perfect.
Only drink beer while on the course (preferably Bud Light in cans) - clubhouse is for martinis or Manhattan type cocktails.
Golf carts are okay, NEVER carry your clubs or egads, a pull cart. Caddies are even better. $50 minimum tip.
Even if you play with Topflite brand balls or the like; when someone asks you "what are you playing" when you have a lost ball, always say "Pro V1". They'll think you're a baller. Maybe you'll get a free $5 ball out of the deal.
Gimmes are only taken when offered. That being said, offer the first gimme. It'll soften up your playing partner.
Footwedge only when you're positive you can't be seen. Same with taking a piss - make sure you're in the woods out-of-bounds. This will come after multiple Bud Lights and there's never a restroom around when you need it on a golf course. Regarding going #2, plan ahead. Golf towels can be used in a pinch. BTDT.
Only yell FORE when you're reasonably sure someone is going to get hit. Maybe for near misses too. Keep it to a minimum. People will think you're a hack if you do it too much.
Don't throw clubs, yell expletives, or have a general temper tantrum when you hit a bad shot. It's inevitable in golf, even for the best pros. Quiet pain like an Apache being thrown off a cliff also shows you're a baller.
When you shank one 2 fairways over, own it. When you hit it on the green from there people will think you're a baller.
Too much time at the ball washer and people will talk.
Tip when they take the clubs from your car, tip the help that cleans and loads your clubs after the round, and for the love of God - tip the beer cart girl well. She'll come back to see you more often.
You're away, sir. LOL. Well done.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208 |
Actually golfing is much more fun than watching golf on tv. You don't bet golf then. A few weeks ago, I agonized over a 45 foot putt in a playoff that dropped in and won me damn near $10k. I about chit my pants. Biggest golf hit ever for me.
The DIPCHIT ADD, after a morning of drinking:
You despair, repeatedly, constantly! daily basis? A despair ninny. Sack up, despire ninny.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,411
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,411 |
Actually golfing is much more fun than watching golf on tv. You don't bet golf then. A few weeks ago, I agonized over a 45 foot putt in a playoff that dropped in and won me damn near $10k. I about chit my pants. Biggest golf hit ever for me. Between betting on the NF and golf, you ain’t done bad, duck.
The degree of my privacy is no business of yours.
What we've learned from history is that we haven't learned from it.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208 |
Actually golfing is much more fun than watching golf on tv. You don't bet golf then. A few weeks ago, I agonized over a 45 foot putt in a playoff that dropped in and won me damn near $10k. I about chit my pants. Biggest golf hit ever for me. Between betting on the NF and golf, you ain’t done bad, duck. Notice I don't post about my losses I am a profitable sports bettor, with about a 23% ROI over the last 5 years.... but it ebbs and flows. I have had a great 2 weeks in NFL (went small on tonight's NFL game but cleared $142). But I can go weeks in the tank. It is not about big glitzy hits, it is about grinding out profit over time. But the science, math, and research behind it is fun, since I am very analytical.
The DIPCHIT ADD, after a morning of drinking:
You despair, repeatedly, constantly! daily basis? A despair ninny. Sack up, despire ninny.
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,840
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,840 |
Little ball in a little hole? Really?
Go get the ball after you hit it ? Pfffffffff
Duck, you are so full of chit too
FUGK CCP
It’s time to WAKE UP GOD BLESS THE USA WWG1WGA THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,936
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,936 |
I took this sport up a couple months ago and I couldn't believe the number of parallels between hunting and shooting.
I play four to five days a week since the Believers shut down my local USPSA. It has been a fine substitute.
Does anybody else here love golf? Use to play up until 25 years ago. It was a real epiphany, realizing all the time wasted playing a game I really did not enjoy. Kind of like not watching sports that last few years.
Arcus Venator
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 4,208 |
Little ball in a little hole? Really?
Go get the ball after you hit it ? Pfffffffff
Duck, you are so full of chit too Am I??? GFY. You know nothing about me, idiot. Here is a nice little hit recently:
The DIPCHIT ADD, after a morning of drinking:
You despair, repeatedly, constantly! daily basis? A despair ninny. Sack up, despire ninny.
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