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Sometimes medication adjustments need to be made, I've known a couple of older folks who needed less blood pressure medicine as they get older. Worth exploring with the doctor as suggested. My father's 88, I wish he had still been working at 83.

No easy answers. Every situation is different, but as long as he doesn’t pose a danger to others, let him live his life as he sees fit.
Salesman is about as safe of a profession as you can get, and I’m sure his coworkers look out for him if he’s been there that long. If you trust the folks he’s surrounded by on a daily basis let him do what makes him happy.

I've considered that we take the same blood pressure meds, and if you take too much it will make you want to fall asleep drowsy.

IMHO, the worst decision my dad made was to retire at 63 and get sucked into the medical system. Surgery after surgery to repair the damage caused by a lifetime of hard work. The medical system in this country is parasitic, profit driven and evil.

If dad is 83, and still working in sales, he must be pretty sharp. I agree that a visit to his doc is in order. Physical Therapy combined with home exercise can be a big help with function and might decrease his risk of falling. Glad to hear you still have him around. Treasure the time.

What does he say when you talk about it together?

Payback Buddy payback. he'll probably never be able to get even for all the worry you caused him.

This kind of stuff is tuff to figure out and it varies greatly from person to person.

I'll give you an example of what happened to Unk.

Unk was a very active guy and liked to keep busy whether he was fishing, fixing or doing whatever. Unk got to be weak and unstable and his kids started to get on his ass and tell him what he could and couldn't do.

This went on for awhile and the more I watched it the more it pissed me off, I told one of them that they should just leave the oldman alone and shut the fuqk up, this pissed him off and he started to crawl all over my ass, I asked him what he would like for his dad, did he want him to live longer and be miserable or did he want him to be happy and possibly live a little less time?

He walked away and they all backed off of him and he pretty much does as he pleases again, they did get him an auto inflate life jacket and made him promise to wear it when he goes out in the boat, probably a good idea anyways.

It's your Pa Roger and I know you love him and want the best for him, but please just don't make him miserable.

I hope for the best for your Dad, Roger. It sucks so bad seeing them get old.


My Dad will be 86 in July. He's recently been very tired and lethargic. Had him tested and very low blood pressure is what is going on they said. They say to cut his BP pill in half but his hemoglobin is also low and I found out one doc said he's probably bleeding internally and should get that checked out ASAP a MONTH AGO!!!

"Well, we can't fit you in until the 28th" is what they told him the other day. My sister was with for that appointment and she didn't call Bullshit like I would have.

These F'n doctors nowadays don't bother to go the extra mile and line stuff like that up for the elderly. They just say go to the desk and get scheduled for a scope and a colonoscopy. It's like they don't give a fugchk about an other wise, fairly healthy elderly person, just because of their age.

He's going to the ER tomorrow at a different hospital.

Dad passed away in February. Mom is 92. I live at her house Mo. thru Fri. My sister who still works stays the weekend. You do what have to do for those you love. I'm sure you will do what has to be done.

George

Sorry to hear this Roger.

My Dad is also 83 and is going through much of the same thing only worse. Serious short-term memory issues and his balance has gotten bad. We are trying to keep him active, but also keep him safe. He still drives some, but it's on country roads near his house.

My advice would let your Dad keep as much independence as possible, but make it safe. Activity, work, and exercise is good. We hired a lady to come in and check on my dad, make lunch, clean, and make sure he hasn't left the stove on or is trying to doing something beyond his means like climbing a ladder. In his mind he thinks he is 50. Dad thinks the lady was hired to do cleaning and such, but it was really to keep him from any mishaps and give us some peace of mind when we aren't around.

Good luck and start your plan now on how to care for your Dad.

STX, I have a similar situation.

My Dad turned 81 yesterday. He has a 2017 Ram 2500 he bought new that now has 160K on it. I worry about him being on the road as much as he is getting in an accident, but he still drives safely for the most part. He does most of the parts running for me, and it's a huge help. It keeps me working instead of being on the road.
The big Ram truck gives him a bit more confidence than he maybe should have now. I'll tell him he needs to get a smaller truck(yeah right).

My Mom turned in her keys last summer, and now Dad is driving her around. It's a hell of a predicament; I want them to stay busy, but I don't want them hurt, or accidentally hurting someone else. They both have age related issues that they work hard to ignore, and I don't blame them.

The folks live 300 yards from me, so I am fortunate to be able to keep an eye on things most days.
I have been taking it day by day for a few years now, and so far, so good. I hope you find a workable solution that keeps your Dad mobile.

Oh, I'm Ok.

Exact words my Dad uses.

There is no good or easy answer here. Prayers sent.

Bottom-line answer if it were me and my Dad and just the way I see the situation from one thread...I'd tell him to quit because the way it is right now, he's okay at home, but he's one accident away from a Nursing Home.

The job just increases the chances of another accident-maybe a worse one.

It's tough call time. If he is falling, getting confused and still driving, he's at risk for hurting someone on the road. I would be very concerned about that. My wife had to help her mom get her dad out from behind the wheel. It was a terrible experience but my FIL had enough on the ball left to see the reality. Your dad will deny it all at first until you can show him some examples of where it's not OK. My mom didn't have any problem giving it up, her vision was going and scared about driving anyway. I don't envy the position you are in.

Tough situation.

Heres something to consider.

Hip fractures (typically from falls) are a death sentence. Especially in someone who is over 80 and has cancer. Most don't make it past 6 months.

So, a starter could be, "hey pops, I've been thinking about that fall.....do you know that if you'd broken your hip, we'd be talking about final arrangements very soon? How about we talk about where we go next?"

My dad is almost 94 and has quit driving everything except a golf cart. My Pops has gotten old the last few years and is dependent on us now and he's not happy about it. Rodger, I'd say let him do as he pleases as long as he can and just hope for the best. Just try to emphasize to him not to take any chances because he won't be a good patient if something happens.

I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point.

I already got my spot picked out.