|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,523
Campfire Outfitter
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,523 |
I saw a place in Corbin, KY, yesterday, it was Guns And Drugs! for sale, a pharmacy that also sold firearms. My kinda place, actually............ Right there on the main drag off I-75. If I'd been alone, I'd have stopped.
You can roll a turd in peanuts, dip it in chocolate, and it still ain't no damn Baby Ruth.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760 |
Retirement Options:
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where…
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
-OR-
You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to prepare tofu and eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
-OR-
You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say, "the city" or the Big Apple" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think an eye contact is an act of aggression.
7. You reminisce about the good old days when you had Mayor Giuliani in office.
-OR-
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
-OR-
You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end!
-OR-
You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the daycare center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail
-OR-
You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end every sentence with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"
-OR-
FINALLY, you can retire to Florida where...
1. You ditch your winter clothes and eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, orthopedist; or even a psychologist should you remotely need one.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. Florida sounds nice Dan Any spare rooms ? If not I can PM DeFlave U guys buds by chance ??
T R U M P W O N !
U L T R A M A G A !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,520
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,520 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently. Utah is full up.......... and C O L D 10* again tonight
T R U M P W O N !
U L T R A M A G A !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,520
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,520 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently. Utah is full up.......... and C O L D 10* again tonight trust me I understand this point of view we was full long time ago in my opinion and it may be 10° at night and 80° in the day at this time of year around here that tonight supposed to be 17 and I'm in the South part of the state
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 30,760 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently. Utah is full up.......... [/img] and C O L D 10* again tonight trust me I understand this point of view we was full long time ago in my opinion and it may be 10° at night and 80° in the day at this time of year around here that tonight supposed to be 17 and I'm in the South part of the state just wake up & have a fresh cup of coffee & go on with your day ! That's what I say ![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/BkcAYyS.jpg)
T R U M P W O N !
U L T R A M A G A !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,989
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,989 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently. Utah is full up.......... [/img] and C O L D 10* again tonight trust me I understand this point of view we was full long time ago in my opinion and it may be 10° at night and 80° in the day at this time of year around here that tonight supposed to be 17 and I'm in the South part of the state just wake up & have a fresh cup of coffee & go on with your day ! That's what I say Stick it in and turn lol
“No one in hell can ever say I went to Christ and He rejected me.
C.H. Spurgeon
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,290
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,290 |
Maine.
The Vacation State.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,383
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,383 |
and still miss the best states to retire in or live in currently. Utah is full up.......... and C O L D 10* again tonight 12* here in northern NM, this AM.
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,103
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,103 |
Retirement Options:
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where…
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
-OR-
You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to prepare tofu and eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
-OR-
You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say, "the city" or the Big Apple" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think an eye contact is an act of aggression.
7. You reminisce about the good old days when you had Mayor Giuliani in office.
-OR-
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
-OR-
You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end!
-OR-
You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the daycare center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail
-OR-
You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end every sentence with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"
-OR-
FINALLY, you can retire to Florida where...
1. You ditch your winter clothes and eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, orthopedist; or even a psychologist should you remotely need one.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. Florida sounds nice Dan Any spare rooms ? If not I can PM DeFlave U guys buds by chance ?? Had a spare until I adopted a tiger cub. He’s all grown up now and doesn’t like to share his bed. My Ex made him burp. Twice. Got a detached garage and could put a mattress in the p’up bed if you like. Kinda noisy though. Metal roof and acorns are falling on it by the bucket. The rest is classified.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,202
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,202 |
Retirement Options:
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where…
1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
-OR-
You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to prepare tofu and eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
-OR-
You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say, "the city" or the Big Apple" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think an eye contact is an act of aggression.
7. You reminisce about the good old days when you had Mayor Giuliani in office.
-OR-
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
-OR-
You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end!
-OR-
You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the daycare center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail
-OR-
You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end every sentence with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"
-OR-
FINALLY, you can retire to Florida where...
1. You ditch your winter clothes and eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, orthopedist; or even a psychologist should you remotely need one.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. That’s hilarious DD !!! 😂😂😂
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 8,542
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 8,542 |
Maine.
The Vacation State. Y M C A
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,202
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,202 |
How come there was no Texas in there? It hot, it’s hot, it’s hot, then cold for a couple days, then hot, on and on.
You better learn to speak meskin
The roads are always under construction
There is a feral pig under every bush
Know it all "transplant" Texans everywhere Fixed for you Yep. Fortunately know it all transplanted Yankees like Flave don’t last long here. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 9,596
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 9,596 |
Ky. doesn't meet any of the criteria & it's full anyhow. So don't waste time looking here. Unless you're buying out a Yankee that can't take the humidity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,285
Campfire Kahuna
|
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,285 |
If all the native Oregonians gathered in one place for dinner they could almost fill a small mom and pop restaurant, if there was one left.
You can always tell a native Oregonian when you're driving thru Idaho, they're the one's smiling.
How many native Oregonians does it take to change a lightbulb? Who's got weed, man?
Two Oregonians were sitting in a Starbuck when a muslim walks in. Hey stupid, you're in Seattle, not Oregon.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
|
|
|
|
|
267 members (257 mag, 2500HD, 160user, 12344mag, 24HourCampFireGuy50, 257robertsimp, 29 invisible),
1,836
guests, and
1,167
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,191,495
Posts18,472,167
Members73,936
| |
Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|
