Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Did ya PLAN to have kids......or did it just sorta factor it's way in the equation........

The only thing I know about HAVING kids is that a retard can have them. No big trick and nothing really SPECIAL about it, hell at least 6 billion folks have done it before.


Being a good parent, there ain't 6 billion of them around.

Had to work on it. Took 10 month for the first one. 'The toughest job you'll ever love.'

Planned the first 3.

Tried to have a 4th - miscarriage.

Tried to have a 4th - another miscarriage.

Gave up on a 4th kid.

3 years later, 4th kid arrives (even though we were taking measures NOT to have another. Gotta love the Lord's timing!)

I have a 20 Months old and a 10 year old, they are both sweethearts. Wouldn't trade them for anything. Les

planned
4 yr spread
they get along great
pay for college as you go and save for yourself...

Didn't plan em. Sure as heck wasn't prepared. But we wouldn't trade our lil darlins for anything in the world

Nic

I never plan nuthin'.........................................










.....but apparently somebody else did.........






Casey

Whether we planned it or not, wouldn't miss it for the world. Ryan

man. i envy you guys.

i'm sure my life would be very different today had i had the opportunity to have kids.



i'd sure like a little guy/gal to hang with about now. seems like the one thing in the world i'd love most is what's forever out of reach.

not going to adopt at 50. don't want to pay for yet another person's trip through texas a$m, so i'm not adopting a 16 year old, or dating someone who's mental acuity is at that level.

(sigh...)

-tom

I always intended to be a Dad. The first thing I looked at in the women I dated was their capability at motherhood.

I was 25 when I finally met a woman I felt was worthy of raising my children. That fact was obvious from the way she cared for the five year old daughter who was part of the package.

I had pretty decent employment at the time with great benefits. But still I would have chosen to wait a couple or three years before having the two additional children who completed our family.

It seems both of them came right from a can of spermicide foam.

Did we plan to have kids? You bet.

Did we plan to have them quite that soon? Nope.

Were we dismayed when Momma was a day late either time? Not at all!

Did we exercise family planning and take permanent action when our family reached the size we intended. Absolutely! And that is the smartest move a man can make in any marriage.

Then the couple can go back and TRY to make babies as often as they want.

Same with us, 19 year old son and soon to be 15 year old daughter. Our son was meticulously planned, but my wife got me drunk and took advantage of me when our daughter was concieved.

I'm telling!


Casey

Planned via poor planning.

36K to go and I'm finished with my natural son's college unless he decides to go pro after.

I have 3 stepkids to help whenever they need it but one is going to community college while working 30 hours a week(18) and my next stepdaughter is still 2 years away.

If my son goes onto a professional school simultaneously with my stepdaughter who'll be starting college and my oldest who might transfer after her two years at Community, I could be in a jam.

Is 10K for a first time DWI unreasonable, folks??

Bill is laying in a hospital bed about to draw his last breath. His wife is sitting beside him and they are reliving old memories of their children.
Finally Bill says, "Dear wife, we have four children. Three are very pretty, smart, and successful. Our only son however hasn't been nearly so gifted. He is unattractive, quite slow and leads a very depressing life. I hate to ask you this but is he really my son?"

The wife pauses for a minute and holds her husbands hand before she answers him, "Yes, he really is your son Bill but there is something I should tell you........The other three aren't."

First daughter born 15 months after our wedding. Unplanned. About three months before she was born the news broke about the thalidomide babies. This scared the living crap out of us until the birth.
At that point I was doubtful I wanted any more even though my wife said she wanted a second by the time the first was going to kindergarten. I resisted.
When our first was 5 and a bit I finally was ready to consider the possibility of another. Finally I said, okay, one try. I can tell you almost to the minute of conception. 11 p.m, November 11th. (Rembrance Day in case you missed it!)
One try and we were golden. If my wife were to read this thread she would take my head off at the shoulders. She doesn't like to talk about such things.
When married we couldn't afford to get married. When we had the first child we couldn't afford her either. We never missed any meals and they are the joy of my life. This summer will mark our 50th anniversary.
I guess if you are committed to the relationship anything is possible.

No pasture breeding, nor as a friend explained his and his wife's method - benign neglect. They just let happen what will without calculated avoidance.

For us, it was planned, timed, intentional and deliberate in all aspects.

Well , We tried to plan our family , but the first child miscarried . Then the doc�s told us we would not be able to conceive again. We decided to adopt. One small hitch in this plan we weren�t able to afford a private adoption, we lived and still live comfortably ( but not affluently) but little is left over at the end of the month to go towards the several thousands of dollars a private adoption costs. In our state at least ( I hope other states are similar) the DSS/ Office of child care provides a similar opportunity for much less money. We sent into the Foster care program ( a requisite for adopting through them ) and started upon our efforts. Of course like most prospective adopter we were looking for a baby (or at least very young child) and decided we wait for the �right� child for us to come along. One day not to long after completing the foster care training and passing the background checks etc. we got a call form the local director. Seems she had a young man that would need to stay some where for a weekend while the foster family he was with took care of some personal business. The boy was 9 years old, and the moment we met him both Big Momma and I fell in love. He was eligible to be adopted and we asked DSS for some additional weekend stays to get him more familiar with us, and after the third weekend while I was driving him back to the foster home, he turned to me and said � Will you please adopt me so you be my Dad?� I about cried in front of him, but managed to keep my cool enough to answer him straight up with out crashing the car !

Anthony moved in with us on February 28 , 2000 . And we thought we were going to settle into being a nice family of three . Then God proved two things 1) He does have a sense of humor and 2) the Ob/GYN�s don�t know everything !! On March 21, 2000 BigMomma told me it was confirmed that she was Pregnant . This resulted in my beautiful daughter, and then two years later my darling little boy was born !

God had plans for us that went beyond what we thought we had decided !

Going into the adoption , I was scared to death we weren�t �ready� financially or otherwise ) but looking back I now know that was just silly. Do we a lot of �stuff� not really but NO AMOUNT OF MONEY OR THINGS could ever make me as happy as the hugs and love I get for these kids. Yes money is sometimes tight and I don�t always get to do everything I would like to do when I want to do it, but the end result is well worth every �sacrifice� and I would not trade one minute of their time for anything !

My only regret is waiting till I was ion my late 30�s to start raising a family !

All three of them were accidents. Call me clumsy.

Ms. HoundGirl;
You have posed an interesting question and have received many interesting answers.

I would have to guess that the type of individuals you and your partner are will determine if children are planned or unplanned and how you will both adjust to the results of becoming a family as opposed to a couple.

We waited until we had a few financial goals met in our lives before trying to become a family. As we�d had a couple financial set backs in our early married life, that was important to us. It might not be for others and that�s fine. As it turned out, we were married 13 years before our first daughter joined us.

We planned to have 2 children and have them about 2 years apart. As you may or may not remember, I�ve posted pictures of our girls, who are 20months apart with some dead animals I shot and some that they shot, so I�ll not do it again. I remember that when we had 2 in diapers at the same time, we were wondering at the wisdom of the close spacing. Now it works out really well as they can do many things such as hunting, together.

By waiting to have our girls, we went through personal growth and experience that gives us more patience and stability than would have been possible earlier in our lives. That may not be the case with everyone and I realize that.

I do have less energy than 15 years ago, but have more patience and it takes a lot more to get me wound up. As the father of 2 almost teen girls, that patience has been a blessing for everyone on many occasions.

I�ll likely need to work longer to help with college and such than if the girls had arrived earlier. If the girls have families of their own, I�ll be a pretty ancient grandfather.

There are tradeoffs to either way.

Regards,
Dwayne

Houndgirl,
My first wife and I knew each other from the time we were seven years old or so.
When we married, we wanted children and never took any 'precautions'.

We lost two children at birth( she was a diabetic) and had two wonderfule clildren together before she died from diabetic complications. kidney failure/hemodyalisis.She was blind by the time our oldest two daughters made it into this life.

When my first wife passed, I remarried and my present wife and I over the last 25 years have three more wonderful children.

She helped me raise my first two girls who were under ten years when their momma died.

Only planning I ever did in the matter was to do my best to pick a good woman and love her and make love to her as often as we could.

Life is short for some.

IF folks wait until all their ducks are in a row to start a family..or they are 'sure' about all the variables...that time may never come.
Life and loving are risky prospect..but to fail to attempt because of the risks will leave a terrible vacant spot in the heart and life.
Risk and failing is better than not risking at all..

Life and love have a way of making things, planned or not..work out for those who love and hope and work,,Jim