Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Should I let my daughter move back home?

Let her move in, She's family.

big +1. She's your daughter.

Um...ok....stupid analogy..but good for you.

I don't have kids yet, but I know that my parents will always be there for me. If I had some tough times they wouldn't hesitate to let me back into their home. But, I also know I could never let that be permanant. You know your daughter better than any of us. What are your concerns about her moving in?

I agree with the others, let her in! Also, I will keep you all in my prayers...

one of the reason we have GSP's, They only ask to be fed twice daily and hunt birds regularily.....

Agreed.

My Mom came to live with us a couple of months ago. Though she is some work and we have had to do some modifications, I wouldn't have it any other way.

ONLY you know all the details and what is truly the right thing to do, not us!

Do what is right, and will lead to the best long term good!

Can only say what I've done. After single parenting two boys and supporting them through college they were on their own. They tried the come back home routine but but found me living on my sailboat. I think they spent maybe two nights on the cabin sole in sleeping bags before they moved on.
They are now both very successful men with families they easily support.
I say give her a hard berth for maybe two weeks and send her and baggage down the road, sounds mean but it's the best you can do.

It's your daughter and grandchild and they need help. Pretty much your answer right there.

Yes, go ahead help them. They may not always act like you want or show their appreciation like you could hope, that is life.

I might let my grown kids go a little while if they are healthy and on their own. However, my young grand kids are not going to be put at risk if I can help it.

I recommend you give the help away with no strings. It makes it harder to second guess it.

My wife and I have a blended family, my three and her two. We also had a big friend of the youngest boys live with us for four years and then my dad for a slightly longer period of time.

Four of the five have come home for periods of time up to a year after they got out on their own. They weren't destitute, just needful of a transition place. The other one lived in a house near us for seven years. We subsidized the rent. We were lucky to be able to help.

Oddly enough I wanted out of the house as soon as I could and never had to go back to live except for the first couple of weeks after I got out of the Marines.

Me and mine have been incredibly lucky in that respect.

Like folks have been saying, family (and friends you consider family)is really all that matters.

My advice is to give your present wife time to really think about this though, what she says and how she REALLY feels may be two different things. Even she may not know until they move in.

Birdwatcher

all good answers, and no bad ones. Our thoughts reflect our own experiences, and our individual outlooks on life.

Dancing Bear though touched on an interesting point, when he said that when he was young, he wanted out of the house as soon as he could.

That mirrors my own experience. I left a good and loving home, before I finished High School, wanting to be on my own.
I never went back, nor did I ever want to.
There were some lean times though, during college, and after, particularly when I was a divorced single Dad with two small children.
I am not saying that some help from the folks did not happen, but that help did not extend to me moving back home.

"Should I let my daughter move back home?"

Would you do the same for one of your present wife's kids?

well dang, muleshoe, I just don't know. I have never married a woman that already had kids.

That was a very thinly veiled slam though. If you have nuts, just come out and say what's on your mind.

Without hesitation.

When I posted this yesterday, my head was in a spin. I sought the wisdom of peers and I got it. I could not have asked this question of so many wise people anywhere else in the world.

You see, I was P.O.'d that my ex still has a problem with alcohol after being divorced 22 years. My ex took it out on our daughter and oldest grand daughter. I needed cool heads to think it through.

Some of you are too new to remember the old "Christ At The Campfire" area of the forum. The area is gone but, Christ is still here.

I have to agree that blood is thicker than water. Obviously we don't know the particulars, like does the daughter have anything going on that would require some "tough love" like alcoholism, drugs, etc. Barring that, if it's a case of her going through a tough time then there's no way I'd turn her away, she and the granddaughter are your family. Marriages between people who already have children can be trying. In my opinion the children should always come first and someone who marries a person who already has children has to accept this, the children pre-existed the marriage. If your daughter and granddaughter truly need help I would not let a current spouse cause me to deny them that help. Hopefully your current wife wouldn't be against that but I know some who would.

Plinker,

Don't take this wrong, pard, if the summary below seems cruel, but it's important to look at this from your daughter's perspective:

Pregnancy: Fail
Job: Fail
Marriage: Fail
Losing 'independent status' and moving in with Mom: Fail
Mother/Daughter relationship: Fail

If your daughter needs you, it's a slam dunk, your home is her home and it always will be. But her moving in with you is another failure of independence. As with her mom, if your relationship with her goes south it will be yet another failure. Whether or not any of these failures are your daughter's fault doesn't change the outcome.

The way I see it, my job as a Dad is to help prevent my kids' failures. Outside of our loved ones, there's little more important than our independence. If there were any possible way I'd set her up in a rental of some sort - whatever is cheap and safe - that provides her with some semblance of freedom. Put a timer on the arrangement. The string of failures has got to stop, and your daughter will be invested in it knowing she has to get things together or it's back home to daddy. She might be wounded now, but in her heart that's probably the last thing she wants.

I'd say stand by your daughter...

as a side note, be glad you have her..

my daughters from my first 'marriage' ( read fiasco) were taken away from me by my ex and the stupid liberal leftist court system in Minneapolis..I've had 4 daughters taken away from me in my life, for no other reason that to promote governmental control over individuals lives...so they can create job security... MY SIN?? Not "cooperating" with their demands... No alcohol or NO Drug or No abuse reasons... just refusing to kiss bureaucrats fannies...

I have no relationship at all with them now.. they grew up to be carbon copies of their mother.. a social disaster...

If she had a drub habit, or habit of quitting jobs or shaking with bad men, etc, that might be the case. As I understand it, this is a simple case of hard times.