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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 8,514 |
I guess if my kid was having drug or alcohol problems,I would want him to move in,so I could keep an eye on him
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[the member formerly known as fluffy}
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 861
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 861 |
Call and tell your daughter to come on over,and that you all can work things out as you go.You already know what to do.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,961 Likes: 8
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,961 Likes: 8 |
My point of reference is one of my own daughters that flunked out of college. She was plenty smart enough, she just didn't do the work - party life and all that. Well, there's a hundred permutations and we all want the same end result. No offense, but a miscarriage and a divorce ain't even in the same category as "I partied and flunked out", hard as that flunking experience might be for an 18 year-old just starting out. I had a former student carry to EIGHT MONTHS before she lost her first baby :((we lost track, I dunno if she has had another), and I have heard that next to losing a child, divorce can be about the most traumatic of life events. Another thing to consider... pay their living expenses at their own place? ...or provide them reliable means of transportation etc.... our budgets always having limits on these things. Like I said, there's a hundred permutations in these situations. Birdwatcher
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,800
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,800 |
I guess if my kid was having drug or alcohol problems,I would want him to move in,so I could keep an eye on him Doesn't work, BTDT several times, stole from us,lied, very hard to talk to, come home drunk if at all. Sometimes would be gone for a few days or weeks, without a word. Refused to get treatment for the problem. It was then that she was to make her own way.
![[Linked Image]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/jimmyd223/th_P1000031.jpg) "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258 |
Didn't read through the entire post but if you can possibly communicate with the ex find out why they were kicked out. Would agree that mother and daugher need shelter but need to have limits. No free ride.
Ed
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes the person who never asks is a fool forever.
The worst slaves are those that put the chains on themselves.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,339 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 10,339 Likes: 4 |
"Should I let my daughter move back home?"
Would you do the same for one of your present wife's kids?
well dang, muleshoe, I just don't know. I have never married a woman that already had kids.  That was a very thinly veiled slam though. If you have nuts, just come out and say what's on your mind.  Well dang Mr. licher, the question twernt directed to you....but thanks for answering just the same. Wasn't intended as a slam of any kind, too bad if you took it thataway. Thought it was pretty straight forward. Got the nuts...
Black Cows Matter!
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557 |
My daughter & grand daughter moved in last Sunday. Things are going well and they are settling in. Thanks for all the thoughts & prayers.
This weekend, I'm going to get out the old telescope and and let my grand daughter check out Venus, Mars & Jupiter. I think she'll get a kick out of it.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,366 |
Everything said so far is good advice.
I would add that you make a short list of terms/conditions that will
allow her to live in your house.
Said list can be posted on the refrigerator.
She would need to be respectful, participate in chores, etc.
Be mindful that in this economy she might be there for a long time,
even if she is actively seeking work.
If she does move in, have a plan for you and your wife to get away
on weekends or even part of every day.
Another option might be to find her a small apartment close by and help
with rent/groceries,etc.
The main objective would be to keep YOUR marriage intact. Support for the daughter would be a very close second.
This could be a hard time, but when it is over you will look back and know that you made the right choice.
Good luck.
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,244
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,244 |
Sounds like yer on the right track.......
George
"Hunting, fishing, roping, working, sleeping, eating. Not always in that order."
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,767
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,767 |
You worry about the Grand daughter and thats all.. its not her fault.. GOOD JOB, I say!!
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