Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Child Support Blues...

My appointment this morning didn't go so well. It looks like I'm probably stuck with over $3000 a month in child support. Neither mom will likely even have to hire an attorney.

Also, I had one of them set up in an apartment once for several months and paid most of her bills during that time, to keep her quiet so she didn't make trouble for my other kids' mom and I. Apparently, by doing this I set some kind of precedent and "lifestyle she and the child have become accustomed to" which may mean I have to pay more, or at least harder to fight paying at all.

Most of which just means I'm screwed, and I can't believe men have such little control over their situation when women take us to court.

Ironically, one idea my lawyer did like came from a PM here on the campfire...I might be able to sue for custody of the kids, and try to get the women to pay ME child support. Then I can just have the kids go to daycare most of the time since I'm busy. This idea has merit.

For now, I'm just going to try and fight everything step by step through my lawyer. Neither of the women has much money, so if I can tie this up enough to drain their finances, they might give up or I can negotiate the child support down to a pittance.

Wish me luck...

I should not even go here but. If your gonna dance the band has to be paid!

I'm not sure what you mean, I guess...if you're referring to my lawyer, you're right...he's expensive but might be worth it if he gets me out of this...

Don't forget about me Daddy...........

Even the Man in black got his ass kicked by the Boy named Sue before it was over.

Tell your mom to cut out the Bon Bons...we can't afford it anymore.

If I got to 'splain that...................................

Bye, bye.

i also pay child support, i think that is a little steep, but my daughter is worth it. i think that the system is what is so messed up. it will be extremely difficult for you to get custody of that child, about the only way is to prove here unfit and that can be difficult also, whatever happens i hope it works out for you and your children.............blake

If I were you, I would pack up Mr. Peanut for a few years so you don't end up paying even more <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> !

Man, that is a lot of money but I guess you should have thought about that before ya knocked them up, eh? Don't any of them work???

If you could choose, how much would you be willing to pay out voluntarily?

Edited to add: This post, although addressed to you, is for Dave <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ! Didn't want you to think I was telling you to pack up your Mr. Peanut....I know you are married!

HoundGirl

I pay support, it is a struggle every month. They are my kids and my obligation. I am lookig to change my situation so they can become better off, not worse off.

David in AK, I read your other post concerning your training 'epiphany' whereby you stated that you realized that you should throw aside all your 'encumbrances'..so you could be free, buy another rifle or whatever.

Well, sometimes a man can do that and sometimes it's more difficult.
Children, ex wives are probably the most difficult'encumbrances' to walk away from and there's no bankruptcy chapter 7 that allows a man to skate away and start over LEGITIMATELY.

Now you COULD leave the state and become invisible and add to the list of Dads who for whatever reason, don't or won't help support & raise their children.
IMHO, That's a short term sorry solution and emotionally(spiritually) costly option.

Better to mend some fences with both women, s***can the lawyer and their costs(they are the ONLY ones who profit from such human misery) and talk to the two women who once shared your bed and work thru it like a responsible man.

You might take the time to get to know your child(ren).
Kids that grow up W/O a Dad have a rougher time of it than those who do have a Father in their life who lets them know they are more than a mistake, inconvenience or a financial liability.

Yes, it'll be painful, costly, time consuming and frustrating at times.
It'll cut into your "it's ALL about ME' time."SORRY, but that's the way it is.
....and I'd say the exact same things to my own sons if they cast aside their upbringing and got themselves in such a state.

But you'll be a far better man and a happer one if you stand up and deal with it forthrightly..jim

The problem with child support is damn little of that money goes to what the child really needs. More like the mom spends it on crap and what's left over goes to the kids.

I agree with dogcatcher223, there is no acountability for the money. BUT, if i were you I would look at what Jim in Oregon has to say. Some day the kids are going to know who is the real hero and who is not.

If I were you David, I'd want to be the real hero. The guy who is there when they need you. All of the toys in the world aren't going to help have your grand kids or be there when the grim reaper is at the door in your senior years. It's tough raising kids but even tougher if you're a kid who doesn't know who his dad is.

Yes, the ex-girlfriends and the lawyers are going to have a field day with you and your paycheck for at least the next 18 years, plan on it. Just my observations. kwg

Dave-
Keep the house plans quiet, eh? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You gave up control a long time ago when you had sex without a thought for the children you might bring into this world. What T LEE said...

B'sW

I agree, T. Is he being just a BIT too ingenuous here?

I'm hoping that this is all a scam, that he's trolling.

B'sW

Excellent post, Jim!!!

B'sW

Not only men pay child support..This Elf has paid an ex hubby for 4 yrs. He makes 4 times the amount I do but what is fair is fair I guess. Now his turn to pay me again and he's having a fit.

The bottom line is the Child or Children not the dollar signs.
They will know who the Hero is in the end run. Money can not buy their love or affection. Being there for the child/children is what's important. So no new gun this week. I've given up food before whenI was first divorced so my kids could eat because I had custody of all 3 of them and no support for a while because he didn't want to pay. Oh hell don't get me started on this subject. Actually ban me from this post cause I just shouldn't have wandered in here on this one.

Pay the support enjoy your children while you have the chance and be done with it.

Nuff said

ouch.

C'mon, dogcatcher. You know it depends on the Mom. To paint all single Moms with that brush is patently unjust and unfair. Most single moms will spend their child support on "crap" like food and clothing (have you priced a pair of child's shoes recently, or noticed how much a teenager can eat?), school supplies, basic things like the electric bill or gas for the car. The myth of a woman taking child support money and going out for a night on the town is just that... a myth.

B'sW

$3K a month? DAMN! That bites.