Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Worst way to be woke up

I just had my all time worst yanked-from-a-deep-sleep experience possible (to date). This was worse that getting cold water dumped on me, kicked out of bed, falling out of bed, yelled at, annoying smoke alarm battery low, etc....

Since the weather has been very mild in North Texas, I have been sleeping with a window open by my bed. This was the second night of pure bliss.

That was until a skunk decided to spray something that startled it right outside of my window. I almost aspirated.

Glad to hear that's all it was.

Hearing the sirens and "INCOMING" right before the mortars and rockets start landing inside the wire!

Downright pungent, aint they?

General Quarters being called in the middle of the night sucks

I can think of many, but I'll always remember the one that made me the most angry.

I was in a tent, out cold from a long day of deer hunting. In the middle of the night, a wiseazz coyote trotted up to the tent, about one foot from my head, and sounded off at full throttle, causing me to eject from my sleeping bag somewhat like a Trident missile ejecting from a submarine. I wanted to kill that coyote bad... but, of course, he was long gone by the time I went looking for him. I've had a thing for coyotes ever since...

That, too.

Not from a deep sleep, but becoming cold sober in a hurry kind of thing I offer this.
One night back in my wild and crazy days, I went out drinking with a young lady who usually ended up spending the night at my place.
The morning after I became sorta simi aware of where I was and that it was going to be a bad hangover day. I could feel somebody in bed with me, and with some reluctance I opened one eye to face the day.
What I saw instantly made forget the hangover, it looked like the back of some guys head, and the entire head was covered with about a half inch of hair.
I swear, I knew I had never been that drunk!!!

Turns out the young lady had done something to her hair that damaged it, she had to cut it short and had been wearing a wig which had come off during the night.

How do dogs know to land precisely on your balls when they jump in bed to wake you up?

Instinct, cats have it too..

I've got a dachshund that has absolutely mastered that.

You guys have me rolling!

Hearing the words "I think my water broke" when you've just worked 21 days straight on the flight line.

When we were teenagers, and wouldn't get up when mom called she would use a spray bottle with ice water to blast us in the face while sleeping. Damn, that used to piss me off.

Old bud and i were bow hunting Colorado one year for elk and mule deer, helluva squall blew through around 3 a.m., a very large Aspen tree came crashing down on our tent, landed perfectly between both of us sleeping bastids, it ripped the tarp cover and tent and was laying there next to me.

When my eyes cleared enough to see some I thought a damn wet white polar bear had crashed through the tent with us.

Needless to say, that was a very bad way to be woke up.

Gunner

Longbob;
Thanks for the thought provoking and side splitting reading that your thread has provided thus far and no doubt will continue to do.

My own tale took place on a mountain where I was camped out on the eve of the mule deer opener. Instead of pitching a tent, I simply threw a foam pad and goose down bag onto the plywood box liner of my Toyota pickup - which was equipped with a fiberglass canopy so I'd be dry if not warm.

I'd parked the pickup in a deserted little hollow which I thought would keep me out of the wind should it come up in the night.

On my left side was my trusty 3 cell Maglite and on my right my even trustier BBR '06. With those tools in place I drifted off to a peaceful sleep with visions of 4 points dancing in my head.....

I was awakened when the Maglite bounced off my skull - which had rolled that way as the truck was being rocked violently back and forth.

Since the Maglite was on the move it took me a couple seconds to find it in the back of the pickup with my left hand - my right already had a firm grip on the '06.

Upon finding the light I shone it outside to see a range cow leisurely using my front winch mount/bush guard as a deluxe scratching post. I pounded on the canopy window and gently informed her how much I appreciated what she was doing.

She didn't really want to quit and surely wasn't ready to leave. As I panned the light about, I saw that a small herd had in fact joined me in the hollow - no doubt having sensed the oncoming snow storm that hit us all an hour or two later.

Oh, by the way, no I'd not brought clothes for that bit of weather change and had to nicely drive lower below the snow a bit to hunt.

Now if you asked me what almost was the worst way to be awakened, I'd share this story with you.

Many years ago, over 25 I guess it has to be, a friend and I were out on a hunting trip where we spent a night or three on the mountain. I must add before going further that this was and still is occasionally grizzly country and definitely has always held surplus numbers of black bears.

We'd rolled into an old cut block late, set up the tent with the pickup lights and cooked supper on the tailgate. As we were dead tired from a day in the steep places, we didn't clean up the cans that contained supper as well as we should have.

Sometime in the night, I was awakened by the sound of something sniffing just outside the canvas by my left ear. With ever so much stealth, my right hand grasped the tent gun and my left my good old 3 cell Maglite.

The animal moved counter clockwise slowly sniffing the tent as it went and in the darkness I followed the sound with the still off flashlight and the very much ready to use firearm.......

Then two thoughts struck me - simultaneously really.

The first was that for the life of me I couldn't remember just where the pick up was parked in relation to our tent. As I didn't want to send a round into my trusty Toyota, it became a matter of much concern with me!

Then too, I imagined the long term damage to my buddy, who was blissfully snoring in his sleeping bag to my right. He was my crew boss at work at the time as well to compound matters and I really couldn't envision him taking the whole "waking up because of a discharge of my firearm in the tent" very well at all.

It took awhile for whatever it was to finally leave the area and even longer for me to get back to an somewhat fitful sleep.

Those are my stories anyway Longbob, I hope you or someone out there got a bit of a laugh on me from them.

Thanks again for the thread and all the best to you this fall.

Regards,
Dwayne

Yes, incoming rockets (I alway voluntered for night duty) and the phone.

Dwayne,

Those was a very well written and funny. I didn't realize when I posted this that I would laugh so hard at others misfortunes, but damn they are funny.

Best to you,

Kyle

This is the best thread I've read in a while.