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Yep. Dat one would actually be better if she were not smiling, maybe more pensive, oreven turned from the camera...


Am I getting to be too much of an art critic....?

I started drinking my morning tea with my pinky held out....

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.

I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!
______________

Poached from Crater Outdoors

Think less. Enjoy the naked women more.

Ingwe have you had your morning "kumis" yet?

I just discovered something that astounds me. Just went into town to have the truck alignment tweaked and as I pulled out of the drive there before my eyes was an armadillo rootin' in the yard.

It didn't seemed concerned so I tried to run over it. Four times I failed, driving around in circles in the front yard. It kept on rootin', I got the truck aligned and had lunch.

Have a narrow deep driveway and I always park in reverse but seldom do more than 20 mph down the drive. Like, if I have a coronary or the brakes fail I don't really want to wind up in the river if you get my drift.

Tooling down the drive and saw the 'dillo in the sideview mirror, made a slight course correction and bingo!



Aw chitt, wrong pic...here ya go...



Guessin' it weren't FORD Tough....



I highly recommend front end alignment when you start having problems runnin' over stuff on purpose. What a difference!

PS: Some of you fellas out in the cold high country probably don't ever get to do this. My condolences. It's high on the list of redneck past times 'round here.

Nope. no 'possum on the half shell' here...too bad, we need more varmints, Ive got lots-o-bullets loaded up

I hear cats can be sporting in suburban developments when the streets are iced up.

MMmmmmmmmmmm...the other white meat...

I like red heads but I am confused

If you can see what she ate for lunch, it's porn.

Close your eyes, this one is for Travis...

DUde...

I'm going to have to drink at least a pint of whiskey to wash that out of my head

Danny Boy....you know you would hit that...duck face or not...probably insist on banging her yap per too.....you're lovin' it!

Facedown in a pillow, and me drunk, maybe...

Her ass would have to be on the tight end of the Thrustometer though.


Oh, and GFY!

Dan....tight on the thrustometer? You trying to tell me the thick ones are tight? Not likely...their O-Rings are stretched out and have zero retention....think continual pants sharting!

I don't care what Poobah thinks, this is an awesome pic.


grin





Dan, wicked Christmas tree!

That is a wonderful holiday pic.

Who the phouc is this "poobah"?