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Phouc, I married one, how on earth could I not?

erin go braugh

I'm trying to sort this out so I don't have another warpig incident.
So if I camo my dick by dying my ball hair?
I won't be scared?


P.S. I hate Oregon.
I'm not kidding.
Politics, people, SPEED LIMIT. [bleep] Commies installed a 55 maximun limit.
STATEWIDE.
I SCHIT YOU NOT. They think they are saving whales or some schit by doing it, I'm sure.
So as you cross the desert, with a road that goes exactly straight, for at least 25 [bleep] miles, it's 55 mph to be legal.
I obey the law most of the time, [bleep] Oregon.
I went through 150 miles of it yesterday [bleep] them.
I was so pissed I woulda [bleep] a redhead.
Soon as you head the Nevada Line on the SAME [bleep] road, the limit is 70.
I'm gonna find a red headed enemy and mean [bleep] her.
Thanks, BD.

P.S.S. I gotta go back through that 150 miles late this week.
I'll have a case of something cold this time to ease the pain.

BIG ASS FIRE THERE. 550,000 acres.........
http://photos.oregonlive.com/photo-essay/2012/07/long_draw_fire_devastates_land.html

I've a good friend, Kevin Marlborough, from Ireland. One of my favorite saying of his is - " A lie, well told, will serve as good as the truth, anyday"!

Happy St. Patrick's day ya'll



Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat
of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact,
he got out three times to pee."

Best,

GWB

Didnt know at the 55mph peed limit...

I hate Oregon...

No reciprocity for CCW permits...
55mph speed limit....
Mandatory friggin seat belt law...
Buttttttttt....you can pack around up to four ounces of 'personal use' marijuana......


[bleep]........

Great pics Dan,almost called you Poobah #2.

'Slave, only if it's a genuine leopard print camo. A good redheaded lass can help with that. If she reaches for a tat needle slap her.

Elks, while your sentiment is appreciated I am far from qualifying as a Junior Poobah. I will continue to pursue less burdensome tasks, simpler tasks if you will, such as coastal invasion, plunder, pillage, mayhem, wench abduction and multicultural procreation. Oh, don't forget burning. That's my specialty. Rome was one of my proudest moments.

BD

An old one that never grows stale! -laffin'-

Great cartoon, Gdub.

That joke reminds me of Ray Stevens' "The Day That Clancy Drowned"...probably derived from that!

Sounds like a perfect state for old people!

Aren't pot smokers notorious for slow driving?

Been on that road...sucks balls.

Buddy and I were coming back from CA on our bikes through that wasteland and we had heard of the stiff penalties for speeding so we were loathe to test our luck. Got passed by BMW's...

Another thing I noticed was the amount of people NOT going the speed limit who would speed up the second you tried to pass...I swear 90% pulled this. Beyotches...

You also forgot the ban on self-fueling...

Probably not a big deal in a car but I don't want some douche spilling gas down my paint and hot engine...

I didn't think they drove...just ordered in!

Some humor to start the day...

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'


Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night.
Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he says.
'90?' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

-------------------------------

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

--------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

------------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied , 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week , Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on . ' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

Sonovabitch.
Worst part is, while there are not that many cops out there, when there are they cost you $150 bucks. No pansy ass, $5.
And if you are 20 miles over.....which you will be in the middle of NOTHING....
I shudder to think what the fine would be.

And whenever I go to Oregon, its to work with cops, so I cant take a pinch of any kind....gotta play nice...

I hear you bud.
I waited til a semi passed me, then drafted that bastid.

Them truckers got radios....and they were moving.....

A Benchmark:

Could you have Rommel bite down extra hard once?
I'd feel better.

Oregon would be a fun place to invade and enslave the whole population.


Travis