Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire A bad time to fart

Yes, but funny....I almost pissed myself.

I posted that vid a couple years ago. I think 2 people watched it. I still think it's very funny. The look on the black guys face when the other guy is letting go is absolutely priceless.

This story was told over and over again by an old fellow, a Canadian First Nations WWII veteran, to us younger guys. When he was young, we'll call him Edwin, he worked for a farmer on a big threshing crew. Seeing as he was just a kid, Edwin got to help the lady prepare the huge dinner tables necessary to feed the big crews. He always sat right across the table from the lady so they could communicate, should there be something to do with getting the table in order.

As the crew was nearly all finished eating and just kind of sitting around, feeling nice and full. It was all nice and quiet, as talking at the table was not allowed. Edwin had just taken on a nice big mouthful of tea when someone down the table a ways, let a little fart slip out. Everybody just kind of tightened up and held on. But, alas, it couldn't last and somebody snickered. The whole table burst out laughing and poor Edwin blasted his mouthful of tea across the table all over the lady!

We would get poor old Edwin to tell the story to any latecomers to our table. We would all laugh until tears every time!

Too funny!

Amen !!!

OK...I woke up my wife laughing at that one.

that was ALMOST as good as Blazing Saddles.

OK, here's my story. I visited my son a few years back during bow season with my 6' ground blind and a plastic folding chair. We rode his 4-wheeler 2-3mis to his honey hole. We had lots of does within 10', when the bucks came in. They were snorting around and my son told me to take a look. I leaned forward and ripped one off on that plastic chair. All the deer flushed like a covey of quail. He has had more fun with the story than if he had shot a record buck.

Your post needs video in the worst way!

An old friend of mine told me this one: years ago, his uncle had moved from Saskatchewan to Kelowna, BC. His uncle had a new 1965 Ford pickup and still had his name and SK town on the door. My friend and uncle were sitting in a mall parking lot waiting for someone. An old geezer came up to his uncle who was sitting at the wheel and started in on him for leaving Saskatchewan and the wonderful socialist CCF/NDP government. Well, Uncle Willie just leaned over towards my buddy and cut a nice long loud fart. To make it better, the seats were covered with that wannabe leather plastic. The old guy just clamped his mouth shut and walked away. My buddy and his uncle laughed until their sides hurt.

Especially behind the wife, an SBD, as she is either going thru coupons or studying a product. And then walking away to watch other shoppers give her the eye!!!

She has made death threats against me for these acts.

You know why farts stink?? So the hearing impaired can enjoy them too...

SO TRUE!!!!!

Mark

My grandson is 8 and his Moma wants him to be a sissy boy. He definitely is not especially when he visits us here in the country. We pee out in the yard, eat great food, and do manly things. When someone cuts an SBD, the saying is "First smeller is the fellar." When an out and out grand fart is released, the saying is "Speak Oh Great Toothless One!" needless to say, none of this endears us to his Moma.

That would be "Crop Dusting".

I had just gone to work in the solder factory. At that time, we were in the old place-- not very nice. It was my first week, and I got caught out the floor with a case of the trots. The closest restroom was in the men's locker room, so I went there and unloaded.

Bad move. What I didn't know at the time was that Denny, the production manager had particularly nasty farts and used to lay them down at shift change as a practical joke.

Just as I was in the middle of unburdening myself, the horn sounded marking end of shift. One second, I was alone. The next moment there were 40 guys in the room with me. There was only one stall, and I was in it.

Everyone who came in started gagging. I have to admit, it was pretty horrible. People got angry. Finally somebody came to the door.

"Denny, you @#$@#$," said the voice. "I'm going to kick your butt. I'm tired of your #@%!! Right now, you #@$#$@ #@$@)#)#. I'm going to beat your sorry $%*#*@. . . "

I'm a big guy-- think John Wayne after he went to seed. However, I'm not THAT big that I did not view my exit without trepidation. However, I figured it was that or have the door beat down. I pulled up my pants, flushed and exited.

Everyone was quite surprised it was just me, the new guy in Engineering. I looked back into the stall, shook my head.

"Denny's not in there." I said. "But I'll be happy to pass on the message."

I left quickly, and never visited that restroom again. Denny came up to me a day or so later and told me I was the new Fart King. He was retiring.

Jeezus....I am crying here LMAO

One of my favorites.

The one time I was glad for a bit of gas!! I was at one of the debates before Clintons second term. As we were lining up to go to our seats I noticed the Sec. of State directly behind me. What a wonderful time to have really bad gas. SBD I heard a sound like she had been kicked in the gut and as I turned to go into the event there were tears in her eyes. Score one for bad chicken wings.
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