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https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/father-first-man-living-penis-built-on-arm-nhs-a4513276.html

A father who lost his penis due to a severe blood infection became the first man to have a new "living" one built on his arm - and is soon set to have it rebuilt.

NHS experts made Malcolm MacDonald, 45, a new penis through a £50,000 arm-graft procedure.

The father-of-two, from Thetford, Norfolk, had endured a long-term perineum infection which saw his penis turn black before falling off completely in 2014.

The mechanic, who turned to drinking heavily after the distressing experiences, told The Sun how he simply picked up his appendage and put it in the bin when the day came, as he had been warned by doctors it was inevitable by that point.


He told the paper how his life and self-confidence fell apart, but that he found hope after his GP told him about Professor David Ralph, a urology expert at University College Hospital in central London, who had previously made headlines around the world for creating a "bionic penis" for Andrew Wardle, a man born without one.

Mr MacDonald will have the surgery at University College Hospital in central London as soon as possible post-pandemic (PA)
Mr MacDonald, who nicknamed his unusually-placed penis Jimmy as it is a "new mate", told the paper: "For two years after losing my penis I felt a shadow of a man.

“[When the arm penis was fitted] It was all my Christmases at once. I was so emotional because it was a chance at a new start."

He added: "Of course it is mad - having a penis on your arm. Not even I am used to it. But when you think about it, it's actually amazing."

The mechanic has had to learn to laugh with his friends at the pub if the penis is spotted beneath his long-sleeve shirts.

Prof Ralph constructed Mr MacDonald's penis, and is set to fit it as soon as possible post-pandemic.

Prof Ralph told The Sun that Mr MacDonald's appendage is a "living breathing" part of his body and, once a penile implant is fitted, will allow the patient to both urinate and have intercourse.

To create the penis, a skin flap was taken from Mr MacDonald's left arm and rolled to form the correct shape. A urethra and tubes with a hand pump were then installed to allow the father to both use the toilet and create a mechanical erection. The shaft is currently detached from the forearm, allowing the penis to "dangle".

A series of delays, some involving transport scheduling issues for Mr MacDonald, has meant that the penis was not fitted in 2018 as planned. The most recent surgery was cancelled in April due to the pandemic, but the mechanic is hopeful it will be grafted in between his legs before the end of 2020.

A UCHL spokesperson said the hospital "will try to rearrange his surgery as soon we are able now that services are gradually returning closer to normal following lockdown."
I bet his wife had a say in that as well

"ok Doc, I'm gonna need to give you some size estimates on building this thing....."
Need a big un built

They probably grew it on his right arm for a reason.
Wow.... That's amazing, but then I suppose that area of medical technology has advanced greatly in recent years due to all the sex change operations.
The erectile tissue in the penis is pretty sophisticated hence the "mechanical erection" and I'm sure there will be no orgasm. I'm sure he will still have psychological issues unless he just deals with the fact that he can have a full and enjoyable life without sex.
Yea......but will it retract like a turtle....at the doctors office?

Quote

The shaft is currently detached from the forearm, allowing the penis to "dangle".
Couldn’t they just used his big toe?
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads

laugh
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads

Wait for it,

renegade will be along shortly with that picture
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads
Don't knock it until you've had one and used it.
Originally Posted by OldHat
The erectile tissue in the penis is pretty sophisticated hence the "mechanical erection" and I'm sure there will be no orgasm. I'm sure he will still have psychological issues unless he just deals with the fact that he can have a full and enjoyable life without sex.



Last week you were lost in the wilderness on how to brush your last four teeth

Now youre an expert on dick meat?
No, thanks. I'm good.
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads
Don't knock it until you've had one and used it.


They sew a cock on your forehead after you “taught school for 80 fugging years”

What are you 100??

You havent seen your dick in 85 years
And please...
Dont bother sending me another 4,000 word essay about what a great somebody you used to be

lol

Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads
Don't knock it until you've had one and used it.
They sew a cock on your forehead after you “taught school for 80 fugging years” What are you 100?? You havent seen your dick in 85 years
Difficult to figure that you are drunk this early on a Monday - but then, looks like you can be grossly crude and vulgar any time. Problem is, you know full well that you are a low-life and still can't manage to control it. Only 45 words, or less.
Haha

Ok

You win....


Yawn......


When you see “Johns Manville” its all about you, laughing
That man has a future in porn.
Originally Posted by CCCC

Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads
Don't knock it until you've had one and used it.
They sew a cock on your forehead after you “taught school for 80 fugging years” What are you 100?? You havent seen your dick in 85 years
Difficult to figure that you are drunk this early on a Monday - but then, looks like you can be grossly crude and vulgar any time. Problem is, you know full well that you are a low-life and still can't manage to control it. Only 45 words, or less.


Blending vulgarity and humor certainly has no place around the damn campfire.
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.



Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
No its real

I should post the PM he sent me a couple month back

You’d think he was Alexander the Great.

what a Moe
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.

Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
See the first reply - neither is the case and do you jump in because you REALLY care, in that none of the comments pertain to you? Simply got assigned to potty mouth cleanup duty today. Shift ends at 4:11 pm.
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads

laugh
There's more than just a few old dickheads on here.
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.

Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
See the first reply - neither is the case and do you jump in because you REALLY care, in that none of the comments pertain to you? Simply got assigned to potty mouth cleanup duty today. Shift ends at 4:11 pm.


Just put him on ignore. Do you really think you are going to get him to change? Do you really think your childish snitty retorts are doing any good? I can assure you that you are in the minority on taking offense to his brand of humor. He's one of the few people here who make me laugh out loud almost every day. I jump in because you are embarrassing yourself. That's some thanks you give.
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.

Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
See the first reply - neither is the case and do you jump in because you REALLY care, in that none of the comments pertain to you? Simply got assigned to potty mouth cleanup duty today. Shift ends at 4:11 pm.


You first reply on this thread was a blind-sided personal attack against me, Churchlady.

When is the last time you fired off a round?

And insulin doesn’t count, Churchlady...
When did we start reporting a word count at the end of each post? (14)
Originally Posted by slumlord
You first reply on this thread was a blind-sided personal attack against me, Churchlady. When is the last time you fired off a round? And insulin doesn’t count, Churchlady...
Still drinking this morning? You clearly are not reading/comprehending well. My first reply on this thread was "Don't knock it until you've had one and used it." which was a gentle and apparently unsuccessful effort to add to the humor. So, I'm not a comedian. You opened the potty mouth after that. I usually ask vulgar folks to clean up their language. Just a value habit.
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
You first reply on this thread was a blind-sided personal attack against me, Churchlady. When is the last time you fired off a round? And insulin doesn’t count, Churchlady...
Still drinking this morning? You clearly are not reading/comprehending well. My first reply on this thread was "Don't knock it until you've had one and used it." which was a gentle and apparently unsuccessful effort to add to the humor. So, I'm not a comedian. You opened the potty mouth after that. I usually ask vulgar folks to clean up their language. Just a value habit.



I usually ask crybabies to quit crying. Just a value habit.
You and humor go together like a turd in a punchbowl
Originally Posted by killahog

They probably grew it on his right arm for a reason.

Is he left-handed?
Originally Posted by Blackheart
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads

laugh
There's more than just a few old dickheads on here.


Are you referring to those named Richard Noggin?
Must be nappy time for CCCCCCC, took his bitch slap while I was mowing. Shade tree replies 😐

Jesus take the wheel, I gotta speak to someone on the innernek.

That or he is “replacing a ujoint on his motor home” yeah right.
Old man couldnt open a jar of pickles.
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.

Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
See the first reply - neither is the case and do you jump in because you REALLY care, in that none of the comments pertain to you? Simply got assigned to potty mouth cleanup duty today. Shift ends at 4:11 pm.
Just put him on ignore. Do you really think you are going to get him to change? Do you really think your childish snitty retorts are doing any good? I can assure you that you are in the minority on taking offense to his brand of humor. He's one of the few people here who make me laugh out loud almost every day. I jump in because you are embarrassing yourself. That's some thanks you give.
Laughs are good and nice that this fellow gives them for you. Making no effort to change anybody or do any good with snits - merely responding to vulgar comments directed at me - learned to do that long before there were personal computers with concomitant internet immunity/anonymity. Thanks for your monitoring and newly expressed concerns about my minority status and alleged embarrassment - where the heck were you in life when I might have needed such? Hope you now feel rewarded for your unrequested efforts. Actually, I don't at all mind being in the internet minority and haven't felt the need for gratuitous and inaccurate assessment of my state of barrass. Am thinking that I can manage any needed protection. Thanks again - maybe keep coming to the aid of that fellow - and hope you keep laughing out loud..
Youre full of shît

So you took a blanket statement personally that didnt name you as an insult?

Now, after you showed your ass youre manufacturing your after the fact victim status

You opened your piehole and try to make up a whoa-is-me defense?


maybe you really were sniffing around here looking for something to turn back the hands of time, the dread of atrophied tissue and zero testosterone. Haha

That would ba rather convenient, ya know how easy road head would be........
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by PaulBarnard
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Haha OK You win.... Yawn......

Wrong - I don't win anything. But, you are a big loser. Just keep yawning. 14 words.

Sweet baby haysoos. Are you really that much of a humorless whiny baby? Please tell me it's internet schtick.
See the first reply - neither is the case and do you jump in because you REALLY care, in that none of the comments pertain to you? Simply got assigned to potty mouth cleanup duty today. Shift ends at 4:11 pm.
Just put him on ignore. Do you really think you are going to get him to change? Do you really think your childish snitty retorts are doing any good? I can assure you that you are in the minority on taking offense to his brand of humor. He's one of the few people here who make me laugh out loud almost every day. I jump in because you are embarrassing yourself. That's some thanks you give.
Laughs are good and nice that this fellow gives them for you. Making no effort to change anybody or do any good with snits - merely responding to vulgar comments directed at me - learned to do that long before there were personal computers with concomitant internet immunity/anonymity. Thanks for your monitoring and newly expressed concerns about my minority status and alleged embarrassment - where the heck were you in life when I might have needed such? Hope you now feel rewarded for your unrequested efforts. Actually, I don't at all mind being in the internet minority and haven't felt the need for gratuitous and inaccurate assessment of my state of barrass. Am thinking that I can manage any needed protection. Thanks again - maybe keep coming to the aid of that fellow - and hope you keep laughing out loud..

You misspelled "red ass".
Reminds me of the joke about the guy who was in a terrible car accident and lost his penis. When he came to in the hospital the Doc told him that because of medical advancements they would be able to grow him a new one. The insurance company said they would cover compensate up to $20,000.00, and to talk it over with his wife to determine
size and such. Guy went back with his wife a week later. Doctor asked him what they decided and the wife responded
that they were gonna take the $20,000.00 and get the kitchen remodeled!!!!!!!
Originally Posted by Valsdad
Originally Posted by slumlord
There’s few old guys on here have them growing outta their foreheads

Wait for it,

renegade will be along shortly with that picture

Naw.........


Only pic I have today is how I turned 3 full boxes and 1 partial of 30 8.99 a box craptastic Armscor 9mm ammo into this shoulder holster.

Let the Maimi vice and kettle drums jokes begin

3 mags
48rds on person
Cold weather under shirt jacket or regular jacket carry.

Pull the ugly bunny outta the hat type of schitt.....


[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

The 1 box of 100 win white box and partial one of 80

I turned into a new 16 rd mag with pinky extension
And 2 pinky extension floor plates.
Got weak hand pinky under strong hand purchase now.

Which is a good thing

Gunga Galunga sorta thing....


The steel floor plates that came with it sucked.....





and this had to be passed on to the world?
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
Originally Posted by 1minute
and this had to be passed on to the world?

Well, 1 minute,

It would seem that it's an important news topic up here in the Zoo.

I may have to go visit some of the fora lower down the list for awhile.
Good times

LOL
'Dear, I'm trying to watch the movie. Would you please quite nibbling on my arm?"
Originally Posted by slumlord
Must be nappy time for CCCCCCC, took his bitch slap while I was mowing. Shade tree replies 😐Jesus take the wheel, I gotta speak to someone on the innernek. That or he is “replacing a ujoint on his motor home” yeah right. Old man couldnt open a jar of pickles.

OK mouthfountain - I purposely gave it a break and went off to do more important stuff and come back in to find that you are still out of control - just can't manage to stop your inanity. So, here are short replies to all three of your ensuing rants.
1. You probably should post that (one and only) PM I sent to you a while back in response to your "no regrets" post about HS days (thought a PM would be more polite than addressing it out loud). If you do put it up, be sure to publish all of the back and forth text.

2. Not a "U joint" today - crawled under the Workhorse and rebuilt the drive line handbrake assembly - shoes, springs, clips, etc. - a bit of a challenge for an old codger on his back with the driveshaft/drum just a bit above the face.

3. I feel highly blessed in this life, so even the most low life spouter on the internet is not going to cause me any woe. Although surely troubled about health threats to some I hold most dear, the rest is bright and shiny. I would wish such peace and happiness for you.

P.S. Missed one other jab - yesterday a skunk got grabbed by the nose in one of the pack rat traps under the carport - nailed it through the lungs with the little Anschutz .22LR - no spray, and didn't even nick my wife's new car. Recoil bothered me a bit, though.
You just wake up cupcake?

I mowed 2 acres while you slept.

Let it go; youre just making yourself look foolish and bitter now.

You dont need to have the last word on shît you started by mouthing off to me.
Come on guys, don't get your arm panties in a wad.
I thought they sewed on an elephant trunk......everything was great, til it started picking up peanuts and ramming them up his Bhole.

Originally Posted by nahma_mich
Reminds me of the joke about the guy who was in a terrible car accident and lost his penis. When he came to in the hospital the Doc told him that because of medical advancements they would be able to grow him a new one. The insurance company said they would cover compensate up to $20,000.00, and to talk it over with his wife to determine
size and such. Guy went back with his wife a week later. Doctor asked him what they decided and the wife responded
that they were gonna take the $20,000.00 and get the kitchen remodeled!!!!!!!
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Must be nappy time for CCCCCCC, took his bitch slap while I was mowing. Shade tree replies 😐Jesus take the wheel, I gotta speak to someone on the innernek. That or he is “replacing a ujoint on his motor home” yeah right. Old man couldnt open a jar of pickles.

OK mouthfountain - I purposely gave it a break and went off to do more important stuff and come back in to find that you are still out of control - just can't manage to stop your inanity. So, here are short replies to all three of your ensuing rants.
1. You probably should post that (one and only) PM I sent to you a while back in response to your "no regrets" post about HS days (thought a PM would be more polite than addressing it out loud). If you do put it up, be sure to publish all of the back and forth text.

2. Not a "U joint" today - crawled under the Workhorse and rebuilt the drive line handbrake assembly - shoes, springs, clips, etc. - a bit of a challenge for an old codger on his back with the driveshaft/drum just a bit above the face.

3. I feel highly blessed in this life, so even the most low life spouter on the internet is not going to cause me any woe. Although surely troubled about health threats to some I hold most dear, the rest is bright and shiny. I would wish such peace and happiness for you.



You make taking a shît on that whole “respect your elders” notion very easy
Originally Posted by slumlord
You make taking a shît on that whole “respect your elders” notion very easy
As if you ever, ever gave pause or found it anything but easy to do so.
Quote
There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says.

"The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."

The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. "So what's the good news?" he asks.

The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"

The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it." So the doctor performs the operation.

A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.

Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.

Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.

"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?"

Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably... but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my a$$!"
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
You make taking a shît on that whole “respect your elders” notion very easy
As if you ever, ever gave pause or found it anything but easy to do so.

tut tut tut

Wrap this up and wow me with some Bible verses.

laugh

Quote
Tarzan went swinging on a vine in the jungle one day and the vine broke. Tarzan popped an eye out, broke his right arm and his penis. He went to the witch doctor and the witch doctor gave him a hawk eye to replace his eye. A gorilla arm to replace his arm and an elephant trunk for his penis then send Tarzan on his way.

A month later, Tarzan went back for a check up. The witch doctor asked him if everything is working. Tarzan said the hawk eye was great and that he could see everything. The gorilla arm was also great because he could pick up anything. Though there was one issue with the elephant trunk he said. The witch doctor asked him what’s wrong with it. Tarzan explained that every time he bends over, it picks up a coconut and shoves it up his a$$.
Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Must be nappy time for CCCCCCC, took his bitch slap while I was mowing. Shade tree replies 😐Jesus take the wheel, I gotta speak to someone on the innernek. That or he is “replacing a ujoint on his motor home” yeah right. Old man couldnt open a jar of pickles.

OK mouthfountain - I purposely gave it a break and went off to do more important stuff and come back in to find that you are still out of control - just can't manage to stop your inanity. So, here are short replies to all three of your ensuing rants.
1. You probably should post that (one and only) PM I sent to you a while back in response to your "no regrets" post about HS days (thought a PM would be more polite than addressing it out loud). If you do put it up, be sure to publish all of the back and forth text.

2. Not a "U joint" today - crawled under the Workhorse and rebuilt the drive line handbrake assembly - shoes, springs, clips, etc. - a bit of a challenge for an old codger on his back with the driveshaft/drum just a bit above the face.

3. I feel highly blessed in this life, so even the most low life spouter on the internet is not going to cause me any woe. Although surely troubled about health threats to some I hold most dear, the rest is bright and shiny. I would wish such peace and happiness for you.



You make taking a shît on that whole “respect your elders” notion very easy
Not many are taught to respect their elders anymore. When I was a kid my dad would've backhanded me out of my chair for disrespecting an elder and he actually did exactly that when I mouthed off one time. Course that was better than if I got out of line when grandma was around. She'd get real nasty with gramps razor strap.
You sure it was the back of his hand?

Originally Posted by Blackheart
Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by CCCC
Originally Posted by slumlord
Must be nappy time for CCCCCCC, took his bitch slap while I was mowing. Shade tree replies 😐Jesus take the wheel, I gotta speak to someone on the innernek. That or he is “replacing a ujoint on his motor home” yeah right. Old man couldnt open a jar of pickles.

OK mouthfountain - I purposely gave it a break and went off to do more important stuff and come back in to find that you are still out of control - just can't manage to stop your inanity. So, here are short replies to all three of your ensuing rants.
1. You probably should post that (one and only) PM I sent to you a while back in response to your "no regrets" post about HS days (thought a PM would be more polite than addressing it out loud). If you do put it up, be sure to publish all of the back and forth text.

2. Not a "U joint" today - crawled under the Workhorse and rebuilt the drive line handbrake assembly - shoes, springs, clips, etc. - a bit of a challenge for an old codger on his back with the driveshaft/drum just a bit above the face.

3. I feel highly blessed in this life, so even the most low life spouter on the internet is not going to cause me any woe. Although surely troubled about health threats to some I hold most dear, the rest is bright and shiny. I would wish such peace and happiness for you.



You make taking a shît on that whole “respect your elders” notion very easy
Not many are taught to respect their elders anymore. When I was a kid my dad would've backhanded me out of my chair for disrespecting an elder and he actually did exactly that when I mouthed off one time.

Originally Posted by MIKEWERNER
Quote
Tarzan went swinging on a vine in the jungle one day and the vine broke. Tarzan popped an eye out, broke his right arm and his penis. He went to the witch doctor and the witch doctor gave him a hawk eye to replace his eye. A gorilla arm to replace his arm and an elephant trunk for his penis then send Tarzan on his way.

A month later, Tarzan went back for a check up. The witch doctor asked him if everything is working. Tarzan said the hawk eye was great and that he could see everything. The gorilla arm was also great because he could pick up anything. Though there was one issue with the elephant trunk he said. The witch doctor asked him what’s wrong with it. Tarzan explained that every time he bends over, it picks up a coconut and shoves it up his a$$.

LOL!!!
There has to be a good joke in here someplace......
Seeing as one hit wonder Conrad couldn't get the job done, I reached out to this team of world class dick doctors. It took little convincing for them to agree to take on the case. They couldn't pass up an opportunity to work on the biggest dick ever to grace our fair planet. With no viable tissue remaining after the weekend's tragic rains, I've donated a chunk of my ass, which the team will transform into our beloved dick Deflave. Doctors reassured that the once colossal dick will be even more tremendous. I'm told we should expect a full resurrerection in approximately five weeks.
Originally Posted by OldHat
The erectile tissue in the penis is pretty sophisticated hence the "mechanical erection" and I'm sure there will be no orgasm. I'm sure he will still have psychological issues unless he just deals with the fact that he can have a full and enjoyable life without sex.



So, like being married then?
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