He reminds me of me.....grin

Heard he got bitten by a cobra a couple of weeks ago.

It was touch & go for awhile but after 5 days, the cobra died.

MM

Chuck Norris built the house he grew up in.

When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.

Chuck Norris was born May 6th 1945.
The Nazis surrendered May 7th 1945.
This is not a coincidence.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Google ‘em up boys.

For some men, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Wow, one I actually had not heard, Thank you immensely.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The Dead Sea was alive before Chuck Norris swam there.

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he does Earth-downs.

Chuck Norris starred in Star Wars. He was the force.

When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the doctor and made him cry.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

He uses ttsx’s!

MC Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris won an argument with a woman twice

Chuck Norris understands women

We can piss our name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

Chuck Norris can land on runway 37 if he wants too.

Chuck Norris has never shot a .270 or a 6.5 Creedmoor.

Let's not go crazy. huh!

When Chuck Norris hears I'm coming, he hides under his bed.

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child, once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.

Chuck Norris secretly has sex with every woman on earth once a month, thus the bleeding.

How many pushups does Chuck Norris do each morning?

All of them.

Hurricanes are never named Chuck, because they’d destroy everything.