It's hard dealing with my dad.

Done

You got it. My mom died when I was 16, saw my real father once. I didn’t have to deal with aging parents. I saw my wife do it, was hard on her.

It's been tough today.

No words Roger. Prayers sent.

Of course Roger, and for your father as well.

Had my brother stay here with him this morning because it was one of the few days that everyone had to be gone for a while. think my brother got a little dose of what we go through every day, dad was asking if John had died, told him no he was here with you this morning.

Prayer sent for a better day tomorrow.

Prayed for him, you and your whole family.

Done.

🦫

Done

Prayers sent hope things get better soon.

You got it Roger. Reckon he had hell with you too.

After he's gone you'll think back and wonder why you didnt do more.

Its life.

Your doing the right thing man.
It is hard dealing with the elderly and infirm.
And games they play if that is happening.

Many of us have BTDT on here.
So alot of us know what you are probably going thru.

Don't lose your composure with him.
He probably wont remember.
But you will.
And ya cant change what might be said.
Sometimes the best approach with the elderly is appeasement to let them " win".
It's hard going that route but it advoids ugly build up of resentment and words that cant be taken back.

Just try to do your best and bite your tongue if matters are happening like that.

I wish you the best.
You dad also.

Praying for you all, Hang in there.

Sorry to hear this.

Went to go visit my grandmother in the old folks home.

She told me I had the wrong grandma, keep going.

Shew man that was rough

Some good advice shared on here.

Sorry, Roger. Prayer up for you. And your dad.

Sorry for your loss! Only time will help, take each day as it comes.

Taking care of your loved ones is a tough deal. Good luck and hang in there.

You are keeping the World turning in the right direction, Roger. God bless you and your family.

I'm sorry for what you're dealing with Roger. That's got to be really tough. My dad is 81 and still sharp, but he's awaiting results on a biopsy on his prostate. Based on his numbers, I'm scared chitless.

I hope you can hang in there for him. Lots of people just ship their aged ones off for someone else to care for. He may be losing his faculties, but he probably has moments where he's aware and it's a blessing for him.to be with family.

Prayers my friend. Wife and I have been thru similar three times. As was said, we just let them win and respond in the affirm if at all possible. Enjoy those moments of lucidity and know that UTI’s accelerate extreme confusion. God Bless all of you.

Prayers sent Rog, you are a good man.

Thank you.

Prayers sent for you and your Dad.

Hope you gain strength to deal with his problems.

It will and can be trying.

Prayers for you and your dad.

Plus one to what Renegade50 said.

Send prayers for you and your family, from us in N.C. We’ve been through this with my Grandma, so I know it’s tough. Real tough. I’m sorry that you all are going through this.

Done

I had my mom pass unexpectedly in 2008 so was saved watching her deteriorate, my dad made 96 almost 97 and passed last year, he was alright to the end, so again was blessed, but my in laws, one with cancer and one with dementia, that was really tough.

so hang in there, in the end you will be glad you did your best.

You and your family got 'em Roger.

Sorry to hear about the hard times. Praying for you and your family, STX.

Been there. Your family is in my prayers.

thanks, my dad and I are a lot alike. I'm Franck with him and don't bull chit him, but today he didn't understand. he fell the night before last, bruised his ribs, and got a bump on his head, thinking I might put him in the hospital to get checked, chit took his 1911 away because I'm afraid he might shoot someone on accident.

Done.

Damn Rog, it's tough but I know you can handle it.

Prayers sent.

Prayers for you Roger, sheit sucks when you can't change things like you'd like to.

I know what you're dealing with - and facing.
It's a rough ride, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
So hard to see a very vital, and intelligent man regress almost to toddler level, but not as rational.
I loved my Dad, so put up with everything he did, and miss him greatly.
You have my prayers and moral support, Roger. Along with prayers for your father, family, and caregivers.
Don't forget to take some time for yourself - to sit and breathe deeply, if nothing else.

got him to bed earlier, drinking a couple of beers then trying to sleep for a while, sleep is something I'm coming to miss.

Done. Best of luck to you.

Hang in there brother

Thoughts and prayers from Iowa.

Prayers offered. For both you and your father.

Went through the same with my Dad, too Roger.
It’s a damn tough job. Prayers sent !

Yep. Good advice!

Best wishes to you and your dad. I know what you're having to deal with as my wife suffered from Alzheimer's dementia. It's a rough trip you're having to take. Hang in and be as patient as you can.

L.W.

I lost my dad to Parkinson’s last year. Dementia got him there at the end.

People might say of your dad that he’s not who he was, but that’s BS. He’s just at a different point on his journey.

Choose to remember him at his best, especially now.

And the guy who said not to argue is spot on.

Prayers sent.



P

took all his pistols and put them away, he had one of the 1911s under his pillow, like nope might end up shooting me or the old lady.

Amen.

Dimentia/Alzheimer’s is a far worse disease than even it’s horrible reputation. You can’t conceive how miserable it can be unless it is experienced first hand. I sure hope that a cure is found some day. Just thinking out loud......I wonder if hyperbarics can help with this crap. Hyperbarics helps the brain heal. I just wonder if hyperbarics were introduced at the right time, could it result in better cognitive function?

Again.... Prayers from us in N.C.

Prayers in the works...

Damn good advice right there.

You and your family are in my prayers. I can relate to the difficulties that you face literally every minute of every day. We took care of my father in law with late stage Alzheimer’s and I know that it’s an extremely difficult task but it’s one that’s borne out of true love and respect Your family is lucky to have you. Despite how challenging it is you’ll be able to look back knowing that you did everything in your power to make him comfortable and safe and that through this you’ve showed those around you what family is all about. You’ll always be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the man looking back at you.

God bless you Roger and may God bless and comfort your dad. Alzheimer’s and dementia take their biggest toll on the loved ones and until one has lived what you’re living now they have no idea the challenges that you face multiple times each day.

+1

Prayers Rog

Prayers for y'all Roger.It's really tough dealing with a parent who's ill.Hang in there.

Take care.

Prayers sent... I've watched several friends go through this with their parents and it made me feel so fortunate that I didn't have to deal with it with my folks. Both were very lucid and reasonably active right up to the end. Same with my in-laws...

My buddy's mother bit a couple of her caregivers at a rest home, then tried to hit another one with an old style corded phone. He was beside himself how to deal with it but he persisted until the end with only a few breaks from his brothers....

Find some way to get some time off from the responsibility or it will destroy you. Some states have departments for the aging where you might be able to get a caregiver to come in a couple times a week so you can get some time off and unwind from the pressure.... it would be worthwhile to make a few phone calls to see what is available in your state.... As a last resort there are a lot of medications available these days to help to keep him calm and cooperative, but they also have other side effects.....

Good luck to your dad too.

BTDT. Twice. Dad was progressively worse with his dementia. I didn't want to take away his Sig 229. Told mom he doesn't have the strength to pull back the slide. Wrong. Still, he'd get pissed if it "disappeared". So I took out the firing pin. He had the piece of mind his sidearm was where it always was for 40 years. Had to put door alarms on all the egress doors as he'd wonder off in the middle of the night. Found him eating Jello powder one night and trying to eat detergent another time. It was rough.

Mom was bedridden but had hallucinations. She'd call at all hours of the night telling me there were monkeys on her bed and should she call the cops. No, I'll be over in a bit - another 20 minute drive at 3:30am.

I'm glad I helped them the best I could, but looking back, it was a rough time and nothing I could do would change their outcome.

Rog, do the best you can and that's good enough. Some things are beyond our control. Godspeed, sir.

I feel sorry for you and your dad. Bad time you have.

Wouldn't it be better to leave him a deactivated gun? Old people are very often quite leery when they have the feeling that someone has taken something away from them. This can be money, the jewels or even a gun. I don't know if your dad would be aware of if you leave him a 1911 without the firing pin. Keeping it under his pillow shows that he would feel more save with than without his gun.

Praying for you Roger. Praying for wisdom and strength. It’s not an easy road you’re on, hang in there.

This Feb I lost my dad to Parkinsons and it ended up with 4 months of dementia at the end. Constant keeping an eye on him as he could be up for days and crawled around like and infant and fought us changing diapers and taking care of him. He turned into an awful creature but really it wasn't him. At the time I was wondering how much of this could my mom and I take and thought I was at a wall. As exhausted as we were there was eventually an end to it and it actually came peacefully.

Looking back now I know exactly what you are going thru but every minute you spend with your parents is precious. I now fondly look back how I help feed my dad for a few years, make his meals, change diapers, and shower and clean him up. Before that I took him many places and drives and many adventures with an SxS atv I bought for him. All of these things, even the dark times are time we look back and are thankful. Be strong. It may be a difficult time but right now your needed and it's wonderful your there for your dad. Relief and grief will come but you'll never regret being as close to your dad till the end. No regrets. Great job.

Praying you and your family find the strength to see him through this.

Prayers for you all Rodger.

What R-50 said in spades.

We're just getting started with wife's mom. She has been slowly losing the dementia battle for the last year or so.

Caring for a family member with dementia is one of the most difficult things any of us will face in our lives. The heartbreak of watching the person you knew evaporate and replaced with a stranger on top of the constant care responsibilities is impossible to describe to anyone who has not gone through that hell.

Prayers sent. Keep the faith. Peace cannot come soon enough.

All well and good, until the FedEx guy gets pistol whipped ;-).

I know your burden. Prayers sent.

Prayers Rog.
It definitely is not easy, but grab those clear moments when you can!
And stories...just roll with them
Dad told some tall tales at times but how is that different from any sportsman?
Sit back and enjoy them as if you were your wide eyed 7 year old self...

Prayers for ya Roger!

Wife and I got a look at 'things to come' over the past month. Her mom has had 2 emergency heart surgeries with 1 more to go.
We had no idea that her stepfather is in very early stage of dementia, so wife had to be there all of the time at the hospital about 150 miles away. The man would get lost going to use the restroom down the hall in hospital.
So we have her mom at 78, my parents at 86,87 and her step at 83, going to get interesting.

Wish you the best in dealing with this!

Hang in there Roger, you’ll be rewarded in the end with peace of mind and knowing you did all you could when others couldn’t/wouldn’t. The wife has struggled with her folks for the last two years by herself as her only sibling passed several years ago. We feel your frustration and pray for you.

You got it...

Yep.

Roger;
Morning sir, sorry to read of this.

In my experience - which is dealing with my much loved Mother in Law for more than 6 years and my mother for roughly 5 years as dementia patients, renegade is spot on.

If you're inclined I'd be happy to share with you anything and all that we learned on that journey.

It's a recent one too for us Roger, we lost Mom in the spring of 2019 and Mom in Law last spring during the beer flu lock down where I wasn't allowed in to see her at the end - only one family member.

Anyways sir, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers for sure and again if you want to talk I'm here or on Faceplant - just give me a shout.

Dwayne

I usually don't have the patience to follow your posts closely, but this one is gold. Applies to so many more situations than the one in the OP. Thanks.

You got it Roger, I'm dealing with my 84 year old mothers dementia now......its trying times....

Understood, and done.

You got em from MN.

When all is done you will find this to be your proudest moment. Best wishes to both of you.


mike r

Roger,

My wife and I send you our best and pray God clears a path through this terrible time for you.

W. Bill

You have some good advice here. You have our prayers as well. RZ.

Best of luck during a difficult time.
It may be taxing on you at times,but you got this.

buying more guns is a relaxing experience

Prayers sent - hang in here.

Prayers of peace to you and your family.

Thanks, everyone for the prayers and advice, didn't work today, tried to catch up on sleep. got on his dr ass about getting the home health care back here. they stop while he was in the hospital this last time, he, the dr, was supposed to write a script for it but hasn't.

I’ll be happy to pray for you.

Remember the good times spent with him when you can, it helped me a lot. Prayers sent

Roger, I know you.If you say its tough....its tough.

Thoughts are with you hermano.....

thanks

Sorry Roger. Prayers for patience and comfort.

George

Prayers sent

As others have said, your Dad may or may not know what's going on, but you do and will remember.

Good on ya.

Prayer sent.

Praying.

Prayers Roger.
Stay the course, you are doing a good thing.



This thread is why this site is special.
If anyone has been thinking of bailing due to the
drama. Or the negativity, read all these posts.

Some guys are hard as nails on the outside, bluster and
carry on most of the time. This thread reflects their real decency.

Sent.

Late seeing this, but prayers offered up for you and your Dad. miles

Prayers sent

BTDT

It’s very hard at times. Just try to remember that you’re the “parent” now, and keep your cool. It’s okay to just walk away when it gets too bad; he won’t remember that either. We used to bring my father some special food and that became the focus for him while we were there instead of whatever else he was “up to”, like escape plans.

Just went through this the last month +. MIL was 97, on hospice at home out in
the boonies. All her kids were there. All she asked was not to be put in a nursing home.
Her wishes were honored. I used to catch chit when my mom thought I was my dad.
I feel for you Roger.

I was given some good advice when my dad was in his final decline. A good friend told me that parents will take all you have to give and then expect more. His advice was to give all you can and realize that’s all you can give. You also have a life to live. They will suck the life out of you if you allow it. Give all you can and be satisfied with yourself that you’ve done all you can. I will pray for you and your father for peace and understanding.

Prayers on the way from Oregon Roger...

its hard I know...

Good luck Roger... sometimes it's a blessing my parents are already gone I guess.

Ambulance just left with him, been up since 2 am with him, he's in so much pain that he would pass out when I tried to get him up so he could pee.

🙏🙏🙏

Damn. Sorry. Don't miss those midnight ambulance trips...

Prayers sent.

You've got it, I'm praying. I can relate as five years ago this week was my dad's last on Earth. He passed that October 18th, at 87 y/o. My sisters and I did 24/7 in-house care for him for his last 6 weeks or so. It was really challenging and draining but looking back/reminiscing this week I'm glad I did it. Now I just reflect on what a great dad he was to me and for all that I'm thankful. Will see him again one day in eternity, so I have that going for me!

They did a GI scope today found two bleeds in his stomach they fixed, he called me twice in the last hour, not there mentally giving the nurses hell, my brother is on his way over there.

been dozing off driving, need a break.

I feel for your situation. We have gone through it twice. .It takes it's toll on you, but stay strong for him and for you and it will be rewarding. I am pretty sure this disease will get me too. I hope I make it easy on the ones who have to deal with me.
Prayers on the way and I am glad you asked.

Prayers still flowin!

More Prayers sent !

Hang in there Roger !

Very difficult dealing with aged parents that are at life's end. I'll add not everyone can cope with it. When my Mother was at death's doorstep I just couldn't go in there. She wasn't aware of anyone or anything and her body was in the final stages of shut down. I did all the heavy lifting in Mom's last several years and thankfully my sister stepped up and was happy to be with her in the final stage when breathing stopped. Prayers and best wishes sent to the OP.

Dealt with my mom and my old lady's mother, so not my first rodeo, but will be my last with my parents and that's what gets me.