I had lunch today with a retired doctor friend of mine. We covered the usual “the medical system is screwed beyond repair, Biden sucks, and the Covid response has been a train wreck” topics. Then he looks all serous and said “I’ve got some troubling news”. I thought, great another friend with cancer.
Thankfully he said, “The wife wants me to see her analyst with her”. Apparently the combination of retirement and the pandemic is creating too much “together time”.
He asked how my experience with an analysts went as years ago I dated his wife’s sister for a short while. (Probably why his wife still hates me to this day.) I said Yep and this is how all that went down:
The girlfriend, who I had only been seeing for a few weeks, says - Let’s go see my analyst together. I said, Nope it won’t work out like you envision. She said we are going. I said it won’t work out like you envision.
So a few days later there we sit in front of her “analyst” who’s asking all the usual questions about feelings, conflict resolution, and coping mechanisms. I explained that my coping mechanism is sudden and complete hearing loss followed by acute alcohol abuse. But I digress.
About this time I’d had enough of the small talk and I look to the headdoc and said - So you sit here all day long listening to problems and offering advice. Doc responds Yes. I said, So with all that knowledge, how’s that working in your marriage. He responds something about it’s a process and requires a lot of work and patience. To whit I said, So largely the advice you hand out doesn’t really solve relationship problems and all this is sorta bullshite. He shrugged and went back to the - it’s a process mantra. So I turned to the girlfriend and said, see I told you this wouldn’t work out like you envisioned.
At which point the tears start and she storms out calling me a colossal dick and some other unintelligible babble. I looked to the doc and said, It generally takes about a month before they come to that conclusion.
Suddenly my friend got all happy and said that’s perfect, I’ll do that. I then asked if he has a prenup and he said no, he and his wife married before he was successful and there wasn’t a need. I told my friend he was unfortunately well and truly screwed. He ordered another scotch and looked even more depressed.
Women...
Yep. Wimmins tend to have a lot more faith in all that mumbo jumbo than men (actual American men) do. Must be all that touchy-feely crap. They have the mistaken belief that the therapist will side with them, therby proving that they are right. Why they think this would "improve" the relationship, I have no idea.
My ex wanted me to go to a therapist with her for her issues. I refused.
I'm sure it helps some people, but it's not for me.
I avoided dating anyone with an analyst.
I avoided dating anyone with an analyst.
Wise man.
I’m soon to retire. We will see how it works for me. I may have to get a part time job.
There is a cross-stitch, "Retirement, half as much money, twice as much husband."
A while back a friend of mine said something about something his analyst said. I didn’t say anything, but it left me scratching my head. A week or so later, in another conversation with him, something he said made me realize that, when he said “my analyst “ he was talking about the financial analyst on his staff.
Hang out at topless bars. Some have lunch specials.
I firmly believe, during the dating (actually an evaluation process similar to a hiring evaluation) the woman subconsciously says to herself, 'OK most of the boxes are checked, this one will suffice with a little character molding and behavioral guidance on my part'. So then the long marriage journey begins, and with each succeeding year she becomes more disappointed at the lack of success with the husband training. He is not responding well, and even in spite of 'community property' laws and 'no fault divorce', which are designed to make him more trainable, he may be giving quite a bit of pushback. At this point she is really upset, and may go off the reservation, and /or they decide to seek "expert" or "professional" help. She fully expects the expert to see the problem her way, and if the expert doesn't, then, of course, the expert is an incompetent idiot. Money wasted. All over a failure to become a different man than the one she married. I envy the fellows here who have what I call a Paul Harvey marriage, a rare condition in this day and age.
Yeah,...whatever you do, don't go see a marriage councelor.
Their job is to wrinkle up they forehead while the woman yaps along about what a chitbird you are,.. ask, "He did that?!,..He did that?!,...and to occasionally look over at you while wearing an incredulous expression and say, "What da fug were you thinkin' about?!!"
After about an hour of this, he charges you $100 and sends ya home with an appointment to come back next week for some more of the same.
If he's really good at it,..the wife ends up givin' him some,..and you get to pay him $100 an hour for it.
It's best just to hit yourself in the balls with a hammer every time the wife suggests that you two go to a marriage councelor.
It's pretty much the same thing,...it doesn't cost $100 an hour,..and it's just one less guy that ends up pokin' ya wife.
It's kinda like this:
Wife "Boo-hooooOOOOOooooooo!,...we need to see a marriage councelor!"
Husband "What about I just hit myself in the balls with a hammer instead?"
Wife "Close enough."
Yeah,...whatever you do, don't go see a marriage councelor.
Their job is to wrinkle up they forehead while the woman yaps along about what a chitbird you are,.. ask, "He did that?!,..He did that?!,...and to occasionally look over at you while wearing an incredulous expression and say, "What da fug were you thinkin' about?!!"
After about an hour of this, he charges you $100 and sends ya home with an appointment to come back next week for some more of the same.
If he's really good at it,..the wife ends up givin' him some,..and you get to pay him $100 an hour for it.
It's best just to hit yourself in the balls with a hammer every time the wife suggests that you two go to a marriage councelor.
It's pretty much the same thing,...it doesn't cost $100 an hour,..and it's just one less guy that ends up pokin' ya wife.
It's kinda like this:
Wife "Boo-hooooOOOOOooooooo!,...we need to see a marriage councelor!"
Husband "What about I just hit myself in the balls with a hammer instead?"
Wife "Close enough."
I remember that.
LMAO
Never been to one, and don’t know anyone who has.
Your friends problems run deep, and are related to his choices in companionship.
My leo buddy’s marriage ship has run aground a couple of times now. He is, like me, untrainable. He told me next time he’s just going to find a mean bitch and buy her a house!
Marriage analysts, counselors, shrinks, whatever should have a sign in the lobby with their score.............
SAVED #
LOST #
I'll wager they're no where near 50/50................
But I may be wrong, I'm often wrong, it's part of my charm, just ask my wife............
You could tell her, you have no use for a counselor or therapist. But you would be glad to pay for her sessions with a fully licensed MD Psychiatrist, to help her with HER issues.
Your insurance will likely pay for a Psychiatrist. The Dr. might even invite you to attend a couple sessions and let you know what is wrong with HER.
I had lunch today with a retired doctor friend of mine. We covered the usual “the medical system is screwed beyond repair, Biden sucks, and the Covid response has been a train wreck” topics. Then he looks all serous and said “I’ve got some troubling news”. I thought, great another friend with cancer.
Thankfully he said, “The wife wants me to see her analyst with her”. Apparently the combination of retirement and the pandemic is creating too much “together time”.
He asked how my experience with an analysts went as years ago I dated his wife’s sister for a short while. (Probably why his wife still hates me to this day.) I said Yep and this is how all that went down:
The girlfriend, who I had only been seeing for a few weeks, says - Let’s go see my analyst together. I said, Nope it won’t work out like you envision. She said we are going. I said it won’t work out like you envision.
So a few days later there we sit in front of her “analyst” who’s asking all the usual questions about feelings, conflict resolution, and coping mechanisms. I explained that my coping mechanism is sudden and complete hearing loss followed by acute alcohol abuse. But I digress.
About this time I’d had enough of the small talk and I look to the headdoc and said - So you sit here all day long listening to problems and offering advice. Doc responds Yes. I said, So with all that knowledge, how’s that working in your marriage. He responds something about it’s a process and requires a lot of work and patience. To whit I said, So largely the advice you hand out doesn’t really solve relationship problems and all this is sorta bullshite. He shrugged and went back to the - it’s a process mantra. So I turned to the girlfriend and said, see I told you this wouldn’t work out like you envisioned.
At which point the tears start and she storms out calling me a colossal dick and some other unintelligible babble. I looked to the doc and said, It generally takes about a month before they come to that conclusion.
Suddenly my friend got all happy and said that’s perfect, I’ll do that. I then asked if he has a prenup and he said no, he and his wife married before he was successful and there wasn’t a need. I told my friend he was unfortunately well and truly screwed. He ordered another scotch and looked even more depressed.
Women...
my brother and his wife are living separately no plans on getting divorced, now that he's not in the oilfield and home every day they just get on each other's nerves. So they live apart but still do things outside the house together.
I’m soon to retire. We will see how it works for me. I may have to get a part time job.
I retired last month. So far, no "analyst". I'll probably end up with another job yet, however. Hopefully, we can make it work til deer season is over.
You could tell her, you have no use for a counselor or therapist. But you would be glad to pay for her sessions with a fully licensed MD Psychiatrist, to help her with HER issues.
Your insurance will likely pay for a Psychiatrist. The Dr. might even invite you to attend a couple sessions and let you know what is wrong with HER.
You mean other than being a typical emotional female?
I wasn't there to solve any problems other than to perpetuate the horizontal entertainment. Ultimately, she calmed down and it went on for a few months until it didn't.
Changing women is simply changing one type of crazy for another. You just hope to find one version of crazy you can put up with for a while. It's not easy; especially during the damn pandemic.
ha, women are a dime a dozen.
ha, women are a dime a dozen.
And they all hide it in the same spot.
ha, women are a dime a dozen.
Not mine.
I am exceedingly lucky however.
You could tell her, you have no use for a counselor or therapist. But you would be glad to pay for her sessions with a fully licensed MD Psychiatrist, to help her with HER issues.
Your insurance will likely pay for a Psychiatrist. The Dr. might even invite you to attend a couple sessions and let you know what is wrong with HER.
You mean other than being a typical emotional female?
I wasn't there to solve any problems other than to perpetuate the horizontal entertainment. Ultimately, she calmed down and it went on for a few months until it didn't.
Changing women is simply changing one type of crazy for another. You just hope to find one version of crazy you can put up with for a while. It's not easy; especially during the damn pandemic.
IMO, Wife is helpmate, mother of my children, permanent partner in life, and most importantly Best Friend.
I have no issues with helping my best friend through some problems should she experience such.
If one's definition of wife is house cleaner, cook and cum dumpster, I suppose that would be easy to replace.
Speaking in reference to your friend and his wife issues, of course.
You could tell her, you have no use for a counselor or therapist. But you would be glad to pay for her sessions with a fully licensed MD Psychiatrist, to help her with HER issues.
Your insurance will likely pay for a Psychiatrist. The Dr. might even invite you to attend a couple sessions and let you know what is wrong with HER.
You mean other than being a typical emotional female?
I wasn't there to solve any problems other than to perpetuate the horizontal entertainment. Ultimately, she calmed down and it went on for a few months until it didn't.
Changing women is simply changing one type of crazy for another. You just hope to find one version of crazy you can put up with for a while. It's not easy; especially during the damn pandemic.
IMO, Wife is helpmate, mother of my children, permanent partner in life, and most importantly Best Friend.
I have no issues with helping my best friend through some problems should she experience such.
If one's definition of wife is house cleaner, cook and cum dumpster, I suppose that would be easy to replace.
Speaking in reference to your friend and his wife issues, of course.
Haha!
2nd wife went off the rails about 9 months into the marriage. Did a complete 180. After about 6 months of that BS, I insisted we see a marriage counsellor. She went with me twice. First visit was for the counsellor to get to know us. By the second visit, the counsellor was calling her on her chitt. She refused to go after that.
We did that 2 or 3 times, her always quitting after the counsellor started calling her on her chitt. I went to a few counsellors on my own and was always told the same thing - you can’t fix a marriage with only one person trying.
She finally insisted I see a psychiatrist for anger management. Did the whole battery of tests and she got to fill out questionnaires. She even sent me to the psych with a letter with instructions for him to read it but not me. He read it, didn’t tell me what was in it.
When he was done all the tests, he sat me down, looked me in the eye and said “You don’t have an anger management problem. You have a marital problem!”
I left her about 6 months after that. Will never waste my time with marriage counselling again.
looming retirement is why i built my shop out back. wife knows it and is fine with it. we know each other real well after 31 years.
A friend recently described a successful marriage as the consistent lowering of expectations.
The farm is 48 miles from the house. I try to spend as much time there as I can. It's cheaper than a divorce.
kwg
Women marry men expecting them to change
Men marry women expecting them to never change.
There is a cross-stitch, "Retirement, half as much money, twice as much husband."
Pretty sure Flave has that one hanging in his scrapbooking room.
Women marry men expecting them to change
Men marry women expecting them to never change.
Borchardt 3:16
Damn, apparently good women are fairly uncommon? I knew I was a lucky man, but damn. Or maybe a lot of men are high maintenance drama queens....
Damn, apparently good women are fairly uncommon? I knew I was a lucky man, but damn. Or maybe a lot of men are high maintenance drama queens....
You
are a lucky man, regardless.
I had lunch today with a retired doctor friend of mine. We covered the usual “the medical system is screwed beyond repair, Biden sucks, and the Covid response has been a train wreck” topics. Then he looks all serous and said “I’ve got some troubling news”. I thought, great another friend with cancer.
Thankfully he said, “The wife wants me to see her analyst with her”. Apparently the combination of retirement and the pandemic is creating too much “together time”.
He asked how my experience with an analysts went as years ago I dated his wife’s sister for a short while. (Probably why his wife still hates me to this day.) I said Yep and this is how all that went down:
The girlfriend, who I had only been seeing for a few weeks, says - Let’s go see my analyst together. I said, Nope it won’t work out like you envision. She said we are going. I said it won’t work out like you envision.
So a few days later there we sit in front of her “analyst” who’s asking all the usual questions about feelings, conflict resolution, and coping mechanisms. I explained that my coping mechanism is sudden and complete hearing loss followed by acute alcohol abuse. But I digress.
About this time I’d had enough of the small talk and I look to the headdoc and said - So you sit here all day long listening to problems and offering advice. Doc responds Yes. I said, So with all that knowledge, how’s that working in your marriage. He responds something about it’s a process and requires a lot of work and patience. To whit I said, So largely the advice you hand out doesn’t really solve relationship problems and all this is sorta bullshite. He shrugged and went back to the - it’s a process mantra. So I turned to the girlfriend and said, see I told you this wouldn’t work out like you envisioned.
At which point the tears start and she storms out calling me a colossal dick and some other unintelligible babble. I looked to the doc and said, It generally takes about a month before they come to that conclusion.
Suddenly my friend got all happy and said that’s perfect, I’ll do that. I then asked if he has a prenup and he said no, he and his wife married before he was successful and there wasn’t a need. I told my friend he was unfortunately well and truly screwed. He ordered another scotch and looked even more depressed.
Women...
Bull***t. Nobody dates for a few weeks and then goes to see a counselor. Also I have never heard a counselor or psychologist called an "analyst".
You could tell her, you have no use for a counselor or therapist. But you would be glad to pay for her sessions with a fully licensed MD Psychiatrist, to help her with HER issues.
Your insurance will likely pay for a Psychiatrist. The Dr. might even invite you to attend a couple sessions and let you know what is wrong with HER.
You mean other than being a typical emotional female?
I wasn't there to solve any problems other than to perpetuate the horizontal entertainment. Ultimately, she calmed down and it went on for a few months until it didn't.
Changing women is simply changing one type of crazy for another. You just hope to find one version of crazy you can put up with for a while. It's not easy; especially during the damn pandemic.
IMO, Wife is helpmate, mother of my children, permanent partner in life, and most importantly Best Friend.
I have no issues with helping my best friend through some problems should she experience such.
If one's definition of wife is house cleaner, cook and cum dumpster, I suppose that would be easy to replace.
Speaking in reference to your friend and his wife issues, of course.
Haha!
I agree with you by the way.
One of those FB stories.....
Fence post turtle.
In the world of analysts (whatever the snarf that is), counselors, and therapy, all men are perpetrators, all women are victims. The outcome is predetermined, and it's no use even showing up and suffering the abuse........
ha, women are a dime a dozen.
You're lucky, mine charges me 20 bucks!
Yessir!
King George!
Hadn’t heard that one before somehow.
There is a cross-stitch, "Retirement, half as much money, twice as much husband."
My mother in law used to say, we married them for breakfast and dinner. Not for lunch.
ha, women are a dime a dozen.
I’ll admit it. I went through a period where my mantra was “they’re all the same, they just look different “.
Then I realized my selection process was flawed.