I worked for Union Bay Sportswear right out of High school. I had about 6 good friends that worked there too. We would abuse the [bleep] to sit down and take a rest 5-6 times for 8 hours. Any way...this is when the fun started. Rumor was floating around that one of the stalls held a MASSIVE turd!! about a dozen coworkers including myself went to see wtf was going on..LOL What I saw is grained into my memory. The master piece was surreal ! This coiled snake had to have been 4" diameter....just guessing uncoiled it had to have stretch to 30" inches...LOL
We were in tears. Whoever deposited it(no one claimed it) must have sure been proud of it (as he should) Can anyone top that ? Didn't think so...
When somebody does a possible record at work they actually post a sign on the stall that says " do not flush- possible record ". My guess is some guys are having a contest and need photo proof to win (dunno how much money at stake).
And no I don't look.
Surgery and painkillers had me in contention for some trophy........years back. Scared me. I did not photo it.
Worked for an aerospace company in Van Nuys and was testing a rocket a engine at night. Went to take a dump and looked in the toilet before sitting down and saw it. Sumbitch was bigger than my forearm and the length of my whole arm. Looked the rest of the night to see who was bleeding. Had to have done some damage. George
North slope of Alaska, free food. All you can eat. Free. All you can eat.
They don't use gravity toilets like the rest of the world, the toilet is sealed and tripping the flush valve brings 30" of vacuum at full throttle. Seen a duece that literally had snow on its peak.
About 20 years ago my buddy Danial stopped by the house to show me his new BMW. He needed to use the restroom so I told him to go ahead, he was in there for a while, then I saw my wife and kids bail out of the house gagging and holding their noses and could hear my wife's bedridden mother yelling cursing in Spanish. lol, Danial came out all embarrassed and red face to ask for a clothes hanger to chop up a turd he made that was too big to flush, to this day my kids call him senior caca.
I used to work with a guy nicknamed “The Cobra”, ever since he produced a huge snake like product much as the OP described. However, in this case the tip rose above the toilet seat & became flattened out at the head which curved downward. Every male on duty was called to this stall to see the natural sculpture which did indeed look exactly like a Cobra. It’s entertainment value was launched exponentially when we attempted to flush it, as it only spun in the bowl while the Cobra’s head repeatedly “struck” at the circumference of the seat leaving it’s foul “bite marks” all around the toilet seat.
He enjoyed the nickname for many years but would Never divulge it’s true origin.
I used to work with a guy nicknamed “The Cobra”, ever since he produced a huge snake like product much as the OP described. However, in this case the tip rose above the toilet seat & became flattened out at the head which curved downward. Every male on duty was called to this stall to see the natural sculpture which did indeed look exactly like a Cobra. It’s entertainment value was launched exponentially when we attempted to flush it, as it only spun in the bowl while the Cobra’s head repeatedly “struck” at the circumference of the seat leaving it’s foul “bite marks” all around the toilet seat.
He enjoyed the nickname for many years but would Never divulge it’s true origin.
My dad and I were out hunting and we were driving down a active logging road and saw a huge pile of fresh black bear scat on the side of the road, Would have filled half a five gallon bucket, And they were the size of a beer can. We stopped and placed some toilet paper next to it, Then listened to the log truck drivers talk about the unreal dump some guy took in the road. I bet some of them are still talking about it years later.
My dad and I were out hunting and we were driving down a active logging road and saw a huge pile of fresh black bear scat on the side of the road, Would have filled half a five gallon bucket, And they were the size of a beer can. We stopped and placed some toilet paper next to it, Then listened to the log truck drivers talk about the unreal dump some guy took in the road. I bet some of them are still talking about it years later.
Human? A few years ago, nice restaurant with my wife. We finished dinner she went to the car and I went to hit the head. Urinals were full so I slipped into a stall, I was shocked at the size of the turd sitting in the toilet. I flushed the industrial toilet and she pour gallons of water through the toilet and the turd stood strong, didn’t budge. I flushed again and more of the same, at this point a urinal had opened up so I went there. I washed my hands and exited toward my vehicle keeping an eye out expecting to see a mortally wounded man in agony somewhere along the way.
Worked for an aerospace company in Van Nuys and was testing a rocket a engine at night. Went to take a dump and looked in the toilet before sitting down and saw it. Sumbitch was bigger than my forearm and the length of my whole arm. Looked the rest of the night to see who was bleeding. Had to have done some damage. George
Worked for an aerospace company in Van Nuys and was testing a rocket a engine at night. Went to take a dump and looked in the toilet before sitting down and saw it. Sumbitch was bigger than my forearm and the length of my whole arm. Looked the rest of the night to see who was bleeding. Had to have done some damage. George
Blown O-ring at least…
It was in Cali so maybe he was accustomed to the sensation.
I was a Junior in College at the University of Cincinnati. During Exam-Week of 1979, somebody came down to my room and urged me to come to the men's john to see something amazing. I had no idea what I was getting into.
When I got there, there were a dozen guys outside a stall, and this one Design Art major standing around as proud as he could be. He'd been pulling all nighters for several days getting his senior project ready. As soon as the heat was off, he went in and produced a monstrous turd.
It was 4 inches in diameter and it had gone into the drain as much as it could and then come straight up and there was a foot or so sticking out of the water. It looked about 3 feet long. One look, and I knew this was the largest human turd I was ever going to see.
What was almost as bizarre was the festive atmosphere of the room. The little guy that produced it was on Cloud-9. His Lacrosse Team teammates were in the back whomping and whooping.
When somebody does a possible record at work they actually post a sign on the stall that says " do not flush- possible record ". My guess is some guys are having a contest and need photo proof to win (dunno how much money at stake).
And no I don't look.
Surgery and painkillers had me in contention for some trophy........years back. Scared me. I did not photo it.
We call that the trout derby around our house. Every once in a while I hear one of my kids yell from the bathroom, "Dad I think I won the trout derby".
Knew a guy a few years ago that was about half a bubble off plumb...
We were talking about him one day while waiting for him to arrive at a meeting. The two guys I was talking to asked if he'd shown me a picture of his giant turd yet...
Umm... No.
Well when he got there, of course the guys told him to show me the turd picture. He gladly scampered back to his pickup and came back with a framed 8x10 color glossy of a turd that looked like someone had coiled a fire hose to fit in a toilet bowl... He was very proud of the corn, and pointed it out a couple of times.
To top it off, that guy was about 5'09" and weighed about 130.
Never heard of anyone before or since who carried a turd photo around to show people, like most people show pics of their grandkids...
Knew a guy a few years ago that was about half a bubble off plumb...
We were talking about him one day while waiting for him to arrive at a meeting. The two guys I was talking to asked if he'd shown me a picture of his giant turd yet...
Umm... No.
Well when he got there, of course the guys told him to show me the turd picture. He gladly scampered back to his pickup and came back with a framed 8x10 color glossy of a turd that looked like someone had coiled a fire hose to fit in a toilet bowl... He was very proud of the corn, and pointed it out a couple of times.
To top it off, that guy was about 5'09" and weighed about 130.
Never heard of anyone before or since who carried a turd photo around to show people, like most people show pics of their grandkids...
When I was in college I came back to the dorms on a Sunday night. As soon as you hit the stairwell, there were sticky notes posted to the wall w arrows pointing and a few had notes like, this is amazing or world record. It led all the way to the third floor bathroom. Must've been 300 sticky notes lighting the trail. It was quite impressive and the biggest I have ever seen. No less than an 8lb and sticking way above the seat. A solid coiled python. What stuck w me was there wasn't any tp and how it got so high. Always wondered if he showered or just went to the next stall to wipe the blood cause he had to tear something. Everyone who lived in the dorm visited that bathroom, even the girls. I lived across from that bathroom and we kept our door open to watch everyone's reactions. It ranged from hilarious to shear horror.
I used to work with a guy nicknamed “The Cobra”, ever since he produced a huge snake like product much as the OP described. However, in this case the tip rose above the toilet seat & became flattened out at the head which curved downward. Every male on duty was called to this stall to see the natural sculpture which did indeed look exactly like a Cobra. It’s entertainment value was launched exponentially when we attempted to flush it, as it only spun in the bowl while the Cobra’s head repeatedly “struck” at the circumference of the seat leaving it’s foul “bite marks” all around the toilet seat.
He enjoyed the nickname for many years but would Never divulge it’s true origin.
He's in the Whitehouse right now! That dog don't hunt, no one wants a dog that don't hunt. He only good for one thing, lying on the porch and licking himself!!!
Supervisor at work was so proud of his work one time he took a polaroid of it and stuck it in front of everybodies face to show them. It was impressive in a sick sort of way
Dropped one late one day at work. Everybody gone for the day. Damn thing was unreal. No way was it going to flush. My battle plan was to let it soak overnight, and get fuzzy, then attempt to flush. Biggest problem was the significant portion that was out of the water,and unable to fuzz up. The next day was a disaster. It took some surgery with a plunger and a sill tie to get it to go. The boss was not amused. . I became a legend.
friend of mine's wife brought home a dog that was wandering around in the neighborhood and wanted to keep it. The dog was huge I think it was part great dane or something like that. He told me the dog was very well behaved and wasnt aggressive. She allowed the dog to sleep in the house the first night but when he got up to go to work in the morning the dog had left a huge pile in the living room. He told me it looked like small horse had took a dump. He woke his wife up and told her to clean it up and get rid of the dog before he got home from work
Lots of them actually, not sure which is the biggest turd but they're all big & really schitty too.................Obama's, both of them, Biden, Pelosi, Schumer, Nadler, Garland, Lizzy the Lez, Harris, Holder, Axelrod, Jarrett, both the Klintoons, Milley, Austin, Boehner, McConnell, Romney, Roberts...................just to name a few, the list is long.
Once at the office, somebody left one in the bathroom the size of a tallboy beer can. When you tried to flush it, the water all left but the turd stayed in place motionless. We had to go get a wooden stake and chop it into pieces to finally get it to flush. No one ever admitted to leaving it. Damn it must have hurt!
The old length method was messy and inconvenient. It's hard to measure something accurately when it's curved and at least partly underwater. My wife is still mad at me after I measured my record breaker. To hear her go on you'd think her sewing tape wasn't ever going to dry out.
Once at the office, somebody left one in the bathroom the size of a tallboy beer can. When you tried to flush it, the water all left but the turd stayed in place motionless. We had to go get a wooden stake and chop it into pieces to finally get it to flush. No one ever admitted to leaving it. Damn it must have hurt!
Once at the office, somebody left one in the bathroom the size of a tallboy beer can. When you tried to flush it, the water all left but the turd stayed in place motionless. We had to go get a wooden stake and chop it into pieces to finally get it to flush. No one ever admitted to leaving it. Damn it must have hurt!
The old length method was messy and inconvenient. It's hard to measure something accurately when it's curved and at least partly underwater. My wife is still mad at me after I measured my record breaker. To hear her go on you'd think her sewing tape wasn't ever going to dry out.
The old length method was messy and inconvenient. It's hard to measure something accurately when it's curved and at least partly underwater. My wife is still mad at me after I measured my record breaker. To hear her go on you'd think her sewing tape wasn't ever going to dry out.
I hate it when you leave a beauty, but instead of it coiling, a lot of it goes straight down the hole and you never get a good look.at it. Thought about carrying a popsicle stick in my coat to stab it and retrieve it.
Have you ever wiped your ass with a couple of them toasty-toes handwarmers? Pretty divine, 20s degrees, you been prairie doggin in the loggy bayou...scoot down that tree like a cat and drop la deuce!!
I went to college and played football at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO). One summer myself and other football players got hired by a construction company to be laborers. It was on campus and the work was heavy, dirty and hot. Because we were student athletes we got to lodge at the football dorms. We were working at another dorm way across campus and this student shows up. He tells us he’s from Africa and he had just arrived to start college. He showed us paperwork that he was supposed to stay in this dorm. The problem was he was weeks early before school starts. We reached out to the college staff and after several hours of pondering and shuffling around they decided he could stay at the football dorm until we got all the work done at his dorm. A day or two later one of my fellow worker/fb players comes to my room and tells me that I have to go see a turd someone had just dumped. I walk down to the bathroom and find a turd that was pointed on one end and rounded on the other end the diameter of a big softball. The turd was dry and had what looked like straw and bone shards all through it. The round end was broken off. From point to round end it was somewhere in the 15-17” in length. It was quite the sight. The black football players started cracking on the African and gave him no slack until he moved out. This was long before cell phones were conceived but it would have made a great picture. The dudes [bleep] had to be shredded after laying that whopper.
My other story is I layed a really good turd in the dorm bathroom one day. It was impressive. I shuffled over to the next stall and wiped my ass. Then I stopped by my buddy’s room and told him to go look at the turd. He came walking out of the bathroom with the turd laying on his arm for support. We went outside and someone took our picture with a instant camera. Crazy thing about that turd is I forgot about it shorty after laying it. When I retired from the Sheriffs Office thirty something years later that picture resurfaced somehow at my retirement party.
I went to college and played football at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO). One summer myself and other football players got hired by a construction company to be laborers. It was on campus and the work was heavy, dirty and hot. Because we were student athletes we got to lodge at the football dorms. We were working at another dorm way across campus and this student shows up. He tells us he’s from Africa and he had just arrived to start college. He showed us paperwork that he was supposed to stay in this dorm. The problem was he was weeks early before school starts. We reached out to the college staff and after several hours of pondering and shuffling around they decided he could stay at the football dorm until we got all the work done at his dorm. A day or two later one of my fellow worker/fb players comes to my room and tells me that I have to go see a turd someone had just dumped. I walk down to the bathroom and find a turd that was pointed on one end and rounded on the other end the diameter of a big softball. The turd was dry and had what looked like straw and bone shards all through it. The round end was broken off. From point to round end it was somewhere in the 15-17” in length. It was quite the sight. The black football players started cracking on the African and gave him no slack until he moved out. This was long before cell phones were conceived but it would have made a great picture. The dudes [bleep] had to be shredded after laying that whopper.
My other story is I layed a really good turd in the dorm bathroom one day. It was impressive. I shuffled over to the next stall and wiped my ass. Then I stopped by my buddy’s room and told him to go look at the turd. He came walking out of the bathroom with the turd laying on his arm for support. We went outside and someone took our picture with a instant camera. Crazy thing about that turd is I forgot about it shorty after laying it. When I retired from the Sheriffs Office thirty something years later that picture resurfaced somehow at my retirement party.
I went to college and played football at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO). One summer myself and other football players got hired by a construction company to be laborers. It was on campus and the work was heavy, dirty and hot. Because we were student athletes we got to lodge at the football dorms. We were working at another dorm way across campus and this student shows up. He tells us he’s from Africa and he had just arrived to start college. He showed us paperwork that he was supposed to stay in this dorm. The problem was he was weeks early before school starts. We reached out to the college staff and after several hours of pondering and shuffling around they decided he could stay at the football dorm until we got all the work done at his dorm. A day or two later one of my fellow worker/fb players comes to my room and tells me that I have to go see a turd someone had just dumped. I walk down to the bathroom and find a turd that was pointed on one end and rounded on the other end the diameter of a big softball. The turd was dry and had what looked like straw and bone shards all through it. The round end was broken off. From point to round end it was somewhere in the 15-17” in length. It was quite the sight. The black football players started cracking on the African and gave him no slack until he moved out. This was long before cell phones were conceived but it would have made a great picture. The dudes [bleep] had to be shredded after laying that whopper.
My other story is I layed a really good turd in the dorm bathroom one day. It was impressive. I shuffled over to the next stall and wiped my ass. Then I stopped by my buddy’s room and told him to go look at the turd. He came walking out of the bathroom with the turd laying on his arm for support. We went outside and someone took our picture with a instant camera. Crazy thing about that turd is I forgot about it shorty after laying it. When I retired from the Sheriffs Office thirty something years later that picture resurfaced somehow at my retirement party.
Have you ever wiped your ass with a couple of them toasty-toes handwarmers? Pretty divine, 20s degrees, you been prairie doggin in the loggy bayou...scoot down that tree like a cat and drop la deuce!!
Mexican food the night before. Layers under coveralls 25 ft up in treestand the feeling comes on fast. Scramble down and find a fallen tree nearby Get all.my stuff down around ankles and sit ass over one branch, use other as back support.
Zero chance of dropping one over the waistband. Heard stories as a kid....wasnt gonna happen to me.
Drop a thumper. And cover it up
Next day same stand shoot a 9 pointer.
Curious i go see how he coulda come in w that scent bomb nearby.
Years ago, I was at the Monroe, La. zoo and saw an elephant take a dump. That was a awfully big pile. Looked a whole lot like horse dung.
I was once at a circus where they had an elephant act and showgirls would ride the elephants and do acrobatics. One trick involved having the elephant pick up the girl from his back and put her down on the ground. You could tell that for the elephant it was "pick up the girl. Walk 10 steps. Put her down." by rote. Only this time after 10 steps he was about to put the girl down in the middle of a just made huge steaming pile of elephant poo.
The girl saw what was coming and started moving around to get the trunk swinging. Just as the elephant put her down she managed to get enough sideways momentum to land just outside the pile.
Have you ever wiped your ass with a couple of them toasty-toes handwarmers? Pretty divine, 20s degrees, you been prairie doggin in the loggy bayou...scoot down that tree like a cat and drop la deuce!!
prairie doggin in the loggy bayou.. jfc. that cracked me up. Been there in my loggy climber.
Love to see him coiled in a toilet and flushed along with his puppet masters. A coworker talked of a guy who often deposits a like turd. Keeps a caca stick to break down the turd so it can flush. Guess this is a chit talking post.
Years ago, I was at the Monroe, La. zoo and saw an elephant take a dump. That was a awfully big pile. Looked a whole lot like horse dung.
I was once at a circus where they had an elephant act and showgirls would ride the elephants and do acrobatics. One trick involved having the elephant pick up the girl from his back and put her down on the ground. You could tell that for the elephant it was "pick up the girl. Walk 10 steps. Put her down." by rote. Only this time after 10 steps he was about to put the girl down in the middle of a just made huge steaming pile of elephant poo.
The girl saw what was coming and started moving around to get the trunk swinging. Just as the elephant put her down she managed to get enough sideways momentum to land just outside the pile.
The audience went wild.
I was at an Elephant show like that and the elephant was to step over a showgirl laying on the ground. That elephant musta pissed 20 gallons all over that gal.
Hunting Whitetails this year.....a massive pile of Grizzled bear shyte, made me take a step back and think....I could be in that pile one day.
4th or 5th time I stepped thru a screen of brush to find such pile still steaming I upped my arm from '06 to .338WM. It worked too- never had to use it on a bear Scared them, I did 😔
Seen a pile of Schitt in a public crapper I would guess was going 8 to 10lbs. Didn’t have a lot of ‘form’ to it, so to speak. Kinda like setting cement. Don’t think it was necessarily left there intentionally - they may have tried to flush it. Clearly, there was no way it was going down the pipe. Nasty.
Isle 3 at Harris Teeter !! The employees walked by like it wasn't there !! I went & got the Manager, & said come see what your employees can't see!! He looked & said "OH my God" !!!
When I worked construction, the ex-large coffee got to me so I headed for the port-o-can. I decided to use a butt gasket since even though they got cleaned regularly they still got kind of nasty. When I went to apply the gasket, I couldn't help but notice this thing about the size of my forearm but tapered down to about an inch. I had no idea someone could hold to and then expel something that large that didn't have an umbilical cord attached.
Whoever deposited it(no one claimed it) must have sure been proud of it (as he should) Can anyone top that ? Didn't think so... 
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. I became a legend. ![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/z8uv05g.jpg)
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