Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Largest Turd you laid eyes on?

I’ve got a couple I will share…

I went to college and played football at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO). One summer myself and other football players got hired by a construction company to be laborers. It was on campus and the work was heavy, dirty and hot. Because we were student athletes we got to lodge at the football dorms.
We were working at another dorm way across campus and this student shows up. He tells us he’s from Africa and he had just arrived to start college. He showed us paperwork that he was supposed to stay in this dorm. The problem was he was weeks early before school starts. We reached out to the college staff and after several hours of pondering and shuffling around they decided he could stay at the football dorm until we got all the work done at his dorm.
A day or two later one of my fellow worker/fb players comes to my room and tells me that I have to go see a turd someone had just dumped. I walk down to the bathroom and find a turd that was pointed on one end and rounded on the other end the diameter of a big softball. The turd was dry and had what looked like straw and bone shards all through it. The round end was broken off. From point to round end it was somewhere in the 15-17” in length. It was quite the sight.
The black football players started cracking on the African and gave him no slack until he moved out.
This was long before cell phones were conceived but it would have made a great picture.
The dudes [bleep] had to be shredded after laying that whopper.

My other story is I layed a really good turd in the dorm bathroom one day. It was impressive. I shuffled over to the next stall and wiped my ass. Then I stopped by my buddy’s room and told him to go look at the turd. He came walking out of the bathroom with the turd laying on his arm for support. We went outside and someone took our picture with a instant camera.
Crazy thing about that turd is I forgot about it shorty after laying it.
When I retired from the Sheriffs Office thirty something years later that picture resurfaced somehow at my retirement party.

Great turd pics never die!

Seen on Reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/poopknife/comments/m07pw6/nurse_poopknife_stat/

Is this person still alive?

I guess now is a good to bring this back up

Have you ever wiped your ass with a couple of them toasty-toes handwarmers? Pretty divine, 20s degrees, you been prairie doggin in the loggy bayou...scoot down that tree like a cat and drop la deuce!!

Years ago, I was at the Monroe, La. zoo and saw an elephant take a dump. That was a awfully big pile. Looked a whole lot like horse dung.

I guess now is a good to bring this back up

Have you ever wiped your ass with a couple of them toasty-toes handwarmers? Pretty divine, 20s degrees, you been prairie doggin in the loggy bayou...scoot down that tree like a cat and drop la deuce!!

Joe Biden.

I was once at a circus where they had an elephant act and showgirls would ride the elephants and do acrobatics. One trick involved having the elephant pick up the girl from his back and put her down on the ground. You could tell that for the elephant it was "pick up the girl. Walk 10 steps. Put her down." by rote. Only this time after 10 steps he was about to put the girl down in the middle of a just made huge steaming pile of elephant poo.

The girl saw what was coming and started moving around to get the trunk swinging. Just as the elephant put her down she managed to get enough sideways momentum to land just outside the pile.

The audience went wild.

Hunting Whitetails this year.....a massive pile of Grizzled bear shyte, made me take a step back and think....I could be in that pile one day.