Asian's buttholes are where Anglo mens ballsacks are

There is alot of adjusting on my part to use this thing

Or maybe they are more about getting the cooch ringed out on a woman

I'm not sure but the angle is wrong regardless

LOL, if I had a house with two bidets, I'd be Installing a for sale sign.........

Sorry KF, couldn't help myself.

You need a laser site.

Sight it in proper!

I used to think that way until I had a hotel room with one

I used it once on a particularly hot day. That moment is what we called a game changer in my world.

The problem is likely not your ballsack, check the factory settings.

Every house I have purchased, that is the first thing to go. Haven't heard of someone actually adding one.

You're a brave man.

We added a couple of them from Toto and they are incredible. They have a setting that will knock the tar off if needed. I think you may be using the setting to clean the wrong hole. Ours has that one for women and the other one that anyone can use.

I can assure you the problem is never my ballsack to any issue :P

LOL, that's about as non-specific as you can get but any description of the feeling you get when using a Bidet is still TMI.....

Fixed it for you.

We also have 2 of them. Ours have separate nozzles for the discharge chute and the lady's plumbing. There's a lever to chose which one gets activated. It doesn't take long to get used to exactly where to sit on the seat.

You need to turn in your man card.

LOL

if having a jet stream of cool water on my ass on a hot summer day is wrong, I don't wanna be right

That's catchy, you could write a song around that.

LOL!

Don't poop on your balls?

:::::writing this down::::::yes, go on......

I saw a rapper's house that had grape soda coming out of his.

Did you boresight it first?

Ghey fo sho.

The Bidet or his àsshole?

I'm sure he "got it on paper" before he sent anything downrange.

Don't have one myself but can understand the appeal.

Nothing worse than a squirt AFTER the shower. Always before if possible.

Tracking and Return To Zero are important, also.

You really want one-hole groups....

Koolaid

Having a smelly ass is part of being a MAN.

I clean my ass in the shower. Balls too.

Every man needs a relaxing hobby!!!

You don’t schitt in the shower too do you?

A bidet will cut your TP usage by 75%. If you have a septic system, that can be important to keeping things moving.

No sh*t, me too.

Oh man...I fugging hate white people.

So….how you drying your ass? Maybe use the wifes’ curtain drapes? Or just jerk up your underwear and soak up the s hit residue!!

Damn French! Fight with their feet and f uck with their face!!

LOL, he said it cut toilet paper usage 75%, not 100%.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

^^^^^^^^^^ THIS ! ^^^^^^^^^^

LOL, he said it cut toilet paper usage 75%, not 100%.[/quote

Ain’t no way 25% of TP gonna dry most of the DA buying these things!

Rag on a stick or "floss" with a bath towel. (hows that for an image)

That bullseye needs to be a Hillary or Jane Fonda sticker. 😡

Ours has an air dryer also.

If you have women in the house, that percentage can vary greatly.

Yes...expected from the two showers a day crowd.

Now you need a little bum sprinkle to ease the pain of the mean tweets.


There won't be enough hotel rooms for you pussies to move to if times get tough.

Fuck, I was planning on moving in with you!
That a No Go?

Hotel room? I won't leave the bathroom!

The well goes dry every evening....we ain't got extra water for to wash your starfish ever couple of hours!

I only shower every third Monday and then only if it's a full moon.

I'm thinking differently. X-full choke with a dense pattern...perhaps just a full choke. Somedays extreme precision might leave more than it takes.

no wonder you've turned into an old curmudgeon on here

sitting around thirsty and stinking up the place after dark every night

You are hired!

I'll bring firearms......and more importantly AMMO

You know, starting threads like this will bring Goosey back.

This thread has me thinking I need to get one installed at my house. Once I get done with the current plumbing repair and issues, that will be next on the list.

I think a Bidet would be right up my alley!

depends on how good your water pressure is

Only if aimed correctly !

I wonder, are they right twist up here in the Northern Hemisphere and left twist down under where you came from???

You coriolus effect and all that.

you realize that as most men get older, their sack hangs a lot lower.
For some, that wish they had for their junk being so long it hits the water comes true.....
except it's the beans that touch the water instead of their frank.

I use mine to forecast the weather

Good enough. I will supply the beef.

Speaking of threads that make one say WTF .....

Never used 1, in either hemisphere, so feeling very 24hrCF qualified to answer, an emphatic, Yes !

Were they named after the current resident of the White House or was he named after them?

I never wanted one o'them toilets that pisses back at me.

I catch enough schitt without having to take if from the damn toilet.

Okay, no one is talking about the temperature of those things. Up here in the cold country I can’t imagine a worse wake up call that a cold shot of water to the nether region. Our little berg is the toilet paper capital of the world, so a bidet would be fighting words in these parts.

I bet the owners of the TP companies have them in their McMansions.

That is the perfect answer for this zoo.

Anyone notice the similarity in spelling for these two words?

Bidet — Biden

KFWA you need to get one of these bad boys!

OK, no water, but do you have indoor carpet?

So, are you guys using plain water in those butt cleaners or do you have the optional foam cannon to get the bad stuff off? Do you need a slow twist nozzle for the heavy stuff?

I don’t know about the OP’s version, but ours needed an electrical outlet because the seat, water, and air dryer are all heated. You can set the preferred temp. It has two favorite buttons that look like Driver 1 and Driver 2. Gave me a chuckle.

I know the seat can be set so hot it will brand you if not careful.

Bidets? Ha Ha Ha my God man WTH! Hah!

mine is cheap so its a cold blast of nope during the winter months.

I have one of those instant heat water things but I'm not gonna take a chance scalding my hole hooking it up. Besides, that first jolt wakes you up - its like letting it chew peppermint gum

Always wondered....now I know.

So if your butt gets wet you still have to wipe it off, right?

Rumor is that the damn contraption doesn’t work at all on removing the ‘dingle-berries’!!!

Probably could find a version with a spinning brush like at the car wursh if them things are a problem for you.

What's the twist rate on the water stream?

if you aren't sitting on it when you turn it on, it will hit the wall

learned that during installation

So when the high pressure stream of water hits my dingleberries in what I like to call “Butthole Forest”, where does the chit residue go from there? I’m assuming it is being scattered in all directions?

Perhaps you need the stream to hit your ball sack as well.

Well, you know how a shooting range needs a backstop, right?

I live a way out in the sticks, we don't have any of those French things... why do you want to walk around with a wet crotch ?

I belive the 'Bidet' was named after the famous French actress / singer / movie star - Brigitte Bidet.

And if you are sitting on it, what does it hit, the fan???

its better than a case of mud butt

Flushable wet wipes are your friend.

You could just cut your nuts off, and solve the wet nut problem.

They say they are flushable but there is no such thing. They will plug up any sewer system you are connected to including city sewer systems ....

If a clean ass is gay then color me queer.

Installed two during the March 2020 toilet paper shortage. Will never be without one.

Actually it's named after the 46th POTUS, Joseph R Bidet, at least he's good for something.

Unless they put out about 1500psi, they ain't gonna do what I need.

Or install a bidet, which is the non-surgical equivalent.

I think they call that an enema.

Waffle stomp.

Heel and toe it down the drain.

You should literally have to wear a pink beret every day for the rest of your life if you have, use or installed a bidet in your house.

hey, I'd do it if it meant I had water after 7pm

Is there an option for a .460 Weatherby-sized jet orifice for that "magnum" effect?? Asking for no one in particular.....

If you want warm water, do NOT get one that plumbs into a hot water line. You'll sit there freezing your butt off until the water gets through the line. Spend the money to get one with some kind of tank or heater so the warm water is right there.

This post for the win

A bidet is every shooter's dream. You don't worry about your aim. You get to move the target for a bullseye hit every time.

It's funny but it's sexist, totally from the male perspective.

Wouldn't women want two-hole groups?

A proper bidet has 2 nozzles so the ladies can use either one as needed.

Well then, I guess I've never seen a "proper bidet."


Just the ones they have at truck stops and 7-11's, I guess those would be improper bidets, for the hoi polloi.

Oh, and the one at Conrad's house. It's green, about 50 foot long, and connects to the outdoor spigot. You can wash your car and your arsehole at the same time. Just don't use the detergent on your arsehole.

Jim says the wax works well though.

Most of the toilet seat bidets sold today have 2 nozzles. Both of ours do. Many of them cost well under $100 and work very well. If you opt for a model with hot water and a heated seat, the price goes up considerably.

The toilet seat types are hard to clean under. Spend a few $$ and get some quick release seat mounts. Just grab the seat and jerk it forward and it comes right off for cleaning. It's well worth the money.

TTT for Jim Conrad. He had a bidet in his yard this whole time and never knew it.

My power augur will verify there is no such thing

[quote=

The toilet seat types are hard to clean under. Spend a few $$ and get some quick release seat mounts. Just grab the seat and jerk it forward and it comes right off for cleaning. It's well worth the money.[/quote]

Rock Chuck, I think that you've just answered Jeffrey's question from back on page 5 about where the residuals end up with your need for the quick release seat mounts. Sweetness complains enough about cleaning the conventional toilets.

KFWA: I am certain YOU are sitting on your bidet backwards!
Mine works perfectly.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

The closest to a bidet I've ever used was at a place I worked and could only be described as a 'steam' commode. It was in a small lavatory in a tooling storage building about 150 yards from the main plant. The storage building was heated with steam, and used extremely hot water to clean tooling piped in from the main plant as was the cold water feed line. The problem was both the cold water and steam/hot water plumbing from the main plant to the storage building were buried too close to each other and also too shallow beneath a asphalt service road from building to building which was fully exposed to the sun all day long. You learned REAL quick to stand up before flushing. Sitting on it for longer than a minute or two and your whole butt and privates would be dripping wet albeit probably somewhat 'disinfected' from the rising heat and steam.

I don't think bidets are any dirtier than a conventional seat. Those same seat mounts make cleaning any seat much easier. Your favorite babe will love them.

Wrong. A killer app for a bidet would be ice water mode. For the record, bidets we installed allowed us-2 stop buying toilet paper by the pallet. Multiple women Under One Roof go through it like crazy.

And, it can be a killer on septic tanks.

LOL, that's hilarious. An accidental ass sauna.