I had to transfer data from my old phone to my new one and came across a picture I forgot about, below. When the Wuhan virus hysteria was at its peak in CA, the nursing home my parents were at totally shut down all contact other than window visits, where a nurse would take the patient to a window and we could talk to my parents on the phone.

This picture was the last time my dad really made me laugh, to the point I was in tears (he passed away a few months later).

I brought him his favorite things (Costco hot dog and home made pickles) and the nurse was giving them to him as I tried to talk to him on the phone. He never really had much of a filter and towards the end he just said whatever he wanted to say. During the call he said "do you know her?" (referring to the nurse) and I said I didn't. He then said, quite loud and right next to the nurse, "She's my niqqer girlfriend, I'm going to take her on a date in San Francisco and then shtup her on Nob Hill."

The nurse was none too pleased, I was trying to suppress my laughing and the nursing home's administrator called me afterwards to tell me that if my dad ever calls anyone there a niqqer again he'd be evicted.

When we tried to get him to apologize to the nurse he said to her, in a very charming manner, that he was complimenting her, as he generally wasn't attracted to niqqers and the fact that he wanted to take her on a date and have sex with her was the highest compliment around.

You can imagine the reaction...

Just a bit of levity for the day.

That's pretty much how my granddad woulda handled it.

I would have been rolling

My mom was the same way. We had to shut her up quite often. My dad had Alzheimer’s and was much more subdued

Growing up around mostly elders, and working around people with some very lax morals, people can pick up some bad habits in everyday gibberish that is rather hard to break even when no ill-will was meant. Back in the 70's and 80's I'd occasionally slip when calling out shoddy work as ......-rigged and have to force myself to substitute jury-rigged. Wasn't anything I'm proud of or in any way try to excuse. Race. Religion, and Politics is best not talked about lightly.


Phil

Oh dang that's hilarious!!!!

My mom folks always had a bowl of nuts on the table during Christmas to snack on. I didn't know they were called "Brazil Nuts" until I about about 12.

That's pretty funny. My dad was off a different ilk. He was paralyzed on his left side by a stroke but his right side was still strong as ever. If a groid got close enough for him too grab a hold of em he would clamp on and shake the shït out of em or slap em if he could. Didn't take but a few times for the nursing home to only have White girls tend him. He was as gentle as could be as long as he didn't see a groid!

my mother prior to death use enjoy #cops# on t.v. she called it #catch the Ni**er show

My late father-in-law spent the last three weeks of his life in a hospice, dying from brain cancer. His mind was a jumbled mess by then.

His two daughters (my wife and sister-in-law) couldn't handle visiting him. He would talk jibberish while sitting in front of a tv in a bathrobe and diaper, watching old westerns. So it fell to me to stop in every afternoon for an hour or two to visit.

He was having Korean War flashbacks, and started calling me "Captain". I would call him "soldier" in return, trying not to upset him. He thought we were in a POW camp somewhere in North Korea, and would refer to our status often.

During one visit, a pretty young black nurse's aide came in to bring him some ice water and check on his diaper (my cue to take a walk outside). When I returned about 10 minutes later, he was looking really confused, even more so than normal. As he stared through me with the 1,000 mile gaze, he asked, "Captain, where are we?"

I replied, "You're in a hospital, soldier. You need medical care."

He said, "But what is our location?"

I replied, "Indianapolis."

He visibly relaxed, leaned back on the bed, and said, "OK, that makes sense now. I didn't think there were any ni**ers in Korea!"

1992, Hillary Clinton faces an African American opponent, Barack Obama, in her bid for the Democratic nomination. My dad, a diehard Democrat said, I don't know if I could vote for a women or a ni##er. Sadly he never had to make that choice........

You other old guys probably remember a chocolate candy called "Nig_er Babies" back 60 or so years ago.

I don’t see the problem????

When I was growing up my dad who was from Iowa, took us kids Ni**GER fishing a lot! It was real hard to not call bank fishing NI**GER when I was taking my kids fishing years later.
My grandmother on my mothers side came from Missouri and homesteaded here and she call them "darkies" until she died when she was 90.

My Dads first name was Rufus. He went by his initials. When anyone asked his first name. He told them it was
Rufus Rastus Nig*er Johnson Brown. He really hated his first name. Hasbeen

When my kids were 5 and 6, in the late 70's we had no TV out here, children's books, The Cat in the Hat, were not color conscious, pretty much vanilla. They were well behaved and polite for little kids. She took them to the big supermarket in the county seat 40 miles away, and the kids saw their first black woman in the store. They were speechless, totally stunned, eyebrows arched little mouths wide open, they stared like the bumpkins they were. Wife was mortified, hissed at them between clenched teeth...stop it, stop staring dammit. Black woman looked away, embarrassed too I suppose. The trip home was long, with endless questions and answers. Wife told the munchkins, just forget it...they are like Injuns only from a different tribe, that's all. Munchkins weren't buying it. Neighbor gave us some National Geographics to help the munchkins catch up thankfully. Pretty soon the creek bottom was littered with willow 'assegai spears' and pygmy blowguns.

Remsen, your Dad was a pistol.

There was an old man in the tiny rural town in Arkansas where I grew up who used to say, "There are only two things in this world I really hate: prejudiced people and niqqers." I think there were a number of people around there who agreed with him.

His father had fought for the Confederacy in the War Between The States.

L.W.

Words that have become taboo now were not always that. I'm not saying it's good to use the N word, but I would ask; if it is so bad for whites to use it, why is it not so for blacks to use it. America has come a long way since 1861 but in some ways has a very long way to go. For some blacks as well as whites the Civil War has never ended it seems. That is a pity and until it does, we may never realize fully our founding principles.

I went to a predominately black high school and took Auto Shop my Junior and Senior years (1986-1987). Our teacher was named Jack Lybrand and he was a hoot. He was only 58-59, but at the time that seemed like an "old man". He and I instantly hit it off because I always had gun and hunting magazines with me and he was like-minded. He would always tell me hunting stories before and after class. He was just a great man, but had no filter. On several occasions he dropped the "N-Word" , and NOBODY CARED...this was '86-'87. One day the power went off and it was so dark you couldn't see your hand. Ol' Lybrand says "One of you ni***rs smile so I can see!" The whole class laughed out loud and nobody got offended. Different times...

Lybrand and I stayed in touch for the rest of his life and he would come see me at work often (gun stores). He passed in 2019 and I went to his funeral.

His obit:

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/thestate/name/jack-lybrand-obituary?id=9880223

My mom didn't like to use the "N" word. She preferred to use the term colored.

They modeled Archie Bunker after my father.

Those cone shaped chocolate covered candies were called n****r toes by everyone where I grew up. I never heard anybody call them anything else and everybody knew what was meant when it was said.

Eggplant in Italian is melanzana, but it is pronounced mulignan. Heard that a time or three growing up, not in reference to the vegetable.

I have heard Brazil nuts called that.

My granddad on moms side referred to full sized ones as darkies, the little ones as pikaninnies.
At the zoo when #1 son was about four he saw his first black family. “Look mom, those people are b l a c k” like he figured they couldn’t spell.
My little brother had very curly hair. A black kid wanted to rub his hand in it. Reverse harassment?

That's also what my FIL called Brazil nuts.

Evenin, my Dad was in the hospital to get a new heart (88 years old) Dr must of bin on drugs, they don't do transplants on anyone over 85!!! Anyway they sent him down in an ambulance, they went through with the usual tests and said he wouldn't survive the operation. My uncle and I went down to pick him up, uncle went to look after paper work I went to his room. All the orderlies were big black females. Well Dad how are they treating you??? "Get me outa here!!!!!! I've never seen so many GDam [bleep] in one place in all my life!!!! Whoa Dad, you better hope your getting out today, ya may not live till morning !!!! Dad! there the ones doing all the hard stuff no one else wants to do. Like feeding you, bathing you, making your bed, if ya half to stay you may have a rough night. He got out so that was good, no accidents through the wee hrs. Got him home and he lived to be 92! Don't think I'm as tough as him so we'll see. Hell he trapped till he was 86yrs old, granted he would drive an ATV or snowmachine right up to the set!!! GWP. 🇨🇦⭕️🐾👣🐾👣🇨🇦

Me agin, remember those big black nuts at Christmas ?? [bleep] toes, what ta hell are they really called???? When I was a teenager in high school we had a negro machine shop teacher (best teacher ever)!!!!! He liked duck hunting & actually hunted on dumb bell lake just off of our trapline to the east so we talked about hunting a lot. We were talking one day & he asked how we retrieved our ducks?? Oh we have this little stray black spaniel called.......... I stopped and I'm sure the red face gave it away but like I said a great teacher and a great man, he just carried right on like nothing happened. He's in a nursing home now and now if this pandemic chit is done my cousin and I are going to see him. WGP or WPG 🐾👣🐾👣🇨🇦

I can see why y'all got along so good. Sounds like a great man, sorry for your loss.

That is what i called until until I was about 30. That was what they were called. I never thought much about it.

My maternal grandmother's comments and conversations were loaded with such stuff as many have noted here - and a lot more. Often made my Dad's ears burn.

But, it did not take old age or rising senility to enable of fuel her - she passed away before she turned 60. Nana. Great gal.

See ya in the funny papers.

LOL... I remember my parents in the 60's with the bowl full of assorted nuts and calling the Brazil Nuts "N----r Toes". We kids all looked at our parents like, "What"?!? ...'cause we were listening to Motown, Sly & The Family Stone, along with The Beatles, The Stones, The Who, etc...

Hmm, he pissed off the Niqqer nurse and now he has passed, curious cat say hmmmm.

When I was a kid in the 60’s, GrandDad would tell us if we weren’t “good”, all we’d get for Christmas was a stocking full of N.igger Toes. 😬

No they were hooked tits,,toes were Brazil nuts

In this region, that was what was said when
one person was using 10 cane poles with a
bobber as big as a baseball and fishing for
bream and catfish. No intentional carp
fishing, but none got thrown back

You'd see them either arriving or leaving in
a sedan de ville with a huge wad of cane
poles poking out of the back window

Great story Remsen...

I came alk orepared with:
"When I was your age ....". But I was pleasantly syrprised by your heart warming tale...

Keep the good memories flowing

When my Grandmother went senile and wound up in a nursing home,she regressed in her mind to just about before WW 2, the stuff she came out with was pretty funny,and the staff understood she came from a different time.
Out of the blue she yelled at one of the Jamican orderlies," HEY YOU ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE ? YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SIT IN THE BALCONY WITH THE REST OF THE DARKIES ,NOW GIT ! " and her last one,"BILLY ! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE,THE DARKIES STOLE MY SOCKS !"

Step Dad was a young Marine in 1949 and was stationed in NYC, and got engaged to an Italian gal from the Bronx. Her mother came down to Chattanooga TN, to visit his mother since their two children were engaged to each other. Then Bob got transferred to Japan, and then South Korea was invaded by N. Korea, and he was with the first Marines to be shipped over from Japan to Korea. He spent his entire time, until the Korea War ended on his 21st Birthday, July 27, 1953.

Meanwhile after being there for 6 months, his fiancé from NYC wrote him a dear John letter and told him she was engaged and then married to some other guy. But her mother " Mrs DiRusso", had gotten to know and loved my grandmother, ever summer she'd come down to Tennessee and visit her for a month or so...They became lifelong friends. Mrs DiRusso also came to visit us, no matter where my dad was stationed at, the whole time I was growing up. It was like she was a third grandmother.

She has always came down from New York to visit my Grandmother. Well in 1972, she instead convinced the family to send Grandma up to NYC, to visit her, since the furthest north she'd even been was Washington DC, which was pretty much home base for our family.

Mrs DiRusso was pretty involved in Democrat Politics, and in 1972 she was campaigning and on the committee for Bela Abzug for Congress. The one reservation she had while Grandma was up there, was she had a large meeting to go to at lunch time at a restaurant ran by black women, specializing in "Soul Food". The gal who owned the place told Mrs DiRusso to go ahead and bring her. Grandma who was born in 1900 was like most people in Tennessee in 1972, called black folks N*^@gers. She meant no harm in it...Grandma was also kind of shy and standoffish...

So at the restaurant there in Harlem, they close up and they were going to each lunch and then do their political meetings, when Bela Abzug was suppose to show up. So they asked Grandma if she had ever had soul food. Her response was she never even heard of it...." oh you're in for a treat!" she was told.. they serve it and she was telling them, why do you call this soul food? This is the same type of food I grew up on in Tennessee.

So they were waiting for her to take a bite or two, all interested in what her opinion of it would be....So when she was asked how did she like it? her response was her usual, " oh its good"... but her face said different. " you don't like it do ya?"..... her response was did you put this in it, or that?
"NO" was the response....the cooks wanted her to come in the kitchen and show how she would cook it... Grandma was the first person they had ever had contact that knew how to cook all of this stuff.. some little old White Lady from Tennessee....

Well in the kitchen, women being women.... Grandma is adding all of this or that, and the Black Ladies loved EVERYTHING she did to their recipes...
They are writing ALL of this down.. Soon they are in there slapping each other on the back, laughing etc. Mrs DiRusso almost had a heart attack when Grandma made the state statemen " Y'all are the nicest bunch of N*^@gers I've ever been around"..

Instead of being shocked, or mad these women started laughing like crazy, either hugging her or slapping her on the back.. and someone tells Grandma she's the nicest Southern Redneck they ever met....The political meeting went out the window, Bela Abzug could never make it any way.

My grandmother ended up getting a Christmas card from each of these women, until they passed or she passed in 1986. My granddad was pretty shocked when many of these black women from Harlem would make a trip down to Chattanooga in pairs or threesomes to visit her for a week or two...

Grandpa didn't warm up to people like Grandma did, so it was hard time when some of those women visit... he would take off and spend a week or two with some of his own kids when Grandma "had company"....

Being from the south, at least in our family.. white and black folks got along a lot better, than you see white and black people getting along since my college days and beyond...

Sure there were hard core rednecks and hard core black racists back then, but I think it is has gotten a lot worse since the 70s than I saw growing up.

Gabapentin is a anti seizure drug that is sometimes used as a non opioid drug to treat pain. One of it's fairly common side effects when starting on it is a disinhibition to socially accepted speech. My wife is a doc so she knew this might happen.

I never got much in the way of pain relief from it but for a few weeks there I could say anything that came to mind in mixed company and not get in trouble for it. After a few "what I really thought" comments my very polite Southern bride asked me to watch for her pulling on her ear and when I saw that to PLEASE rethink what I was saying out loud.

It was kind of a preview of what I might be able to freely say when I'm 90 something

I say "darkly complected". Usually gets a laugh.

We'd get our mouths soaped if we used the "N" word growing up.

Where I was raised there were no Black people, closer than Denver 300 miles East. I roped off a Black horse named Ni--er, we changed his name when traveling to Rodeo's on the East slope of Colorado, to Sammy Davis Jr. Rio7

Wife's uncle visited us back in the 70s. He was from Pascagoula. After showing him around the area he asked me where we kept our "nigras". What? Nigras, you know, niqqers.
Told him we didn't have any as for some strange reason our county was almost pure white.
" Well how the hell did you manage that?"

My mother's decline took years but our first inclination was at my "2nd cousin's" wedding reception in Denver. My "2nd cousin" is the daughter of my first cousin. It seems my first cousin had a black GI as her boyfriend and the first cousin got pregnant resulting in the young "2nd cousin". The GI took off or was transferred and the "2nd cousin" has never met her father. But, she was always a smart girl and for a lack of a better word "precious". My first cousin raised her well with a good work ethic and positive attitude. She is now a Physicians Assistant (PA) at a local hospital in Grand Junction Colorado.

While at the reception the "2nd cousin" started talking about enrolling in a PA school. She knew she wanted to go but she hadn't decided on just where. By the way my "2nd cousin" was 40 years old at the time of her wedding reception so she decided now was the time before she got any older to get married and go back to school. My mom asked "I didn't know they let your kind in ?". The "2nd cousin" took it all in stride and skipped over it. I was the one who was mortified. My mother who has been around this "2nd cousin" for 40 years and never gave one care about her skin color and now suddenly thought it was an issue.

Unfortunately, her attitude and mental capabilities continued to go down hill for the next 5 years until her passing about folks with a dark skin color. Luckily for us brothers we live in a small town with virtually no people of color or I can only imagine what words would of been falling out of her mouth.

kwg

My paternal grandmother (1893-1993) was raised by a brother in Mobile, AL.
She had no inhibitions towards blacks in general and was never shy about putting an "uppity [bleep]" in their place....whether the person was right or wrong. Loved my grandmother, but it got to where I just about refused to take her to town.

My mother (1921-2020) was pretty much the same, but growing up poor, she was a bit more tolerant than grandma....but not much. The "N" word was much more regulated! LOL!

Mom worked at as a checker at a Brookshire's grocery store. Due to the location of the store, most of the bag boys were black. A couple were arguing back and forth about the "N" word. Mom finally stepped over to a store shelf near her checkout stand, grabbed a can and handed it to the offended kid.
She gave him a can with a black guy on the label that stated "[bleep] Shrimp".

"[bleep]" is perceived as a version of the word "negro".

"[bleep]" is actually a term for a lazy, stupid person and has absolutely nothing to do with skin color or race....but apparently not by America's blacks.

A fellow that I worked with was funny.
When he heard the term "African-American", he would ask them, "What is your nationality?"
Most immediately replied, "I'm African-American."
He came right back with, "That's your race. What is your nationality?"

LOL ! Nailed it ! 😂

Walking with my Gramps up the sidewalk in town one day, met a Black guy, one of the only 3 black families around there. They immediately started insulting each other, Gramps calling him a darky jigaboo and various other things about his monkey heritage, the black guy calling gramps a ******* ghost that been in the sun too long and so forth. This went on for a few seconds then they started talking about hunting and my gramps old camp in the swamp. Anyway my Gramps gave him the key to the camp to use and told him not to wear his shoe polish to bed cause if it stained the sheets again he would boil him in a pot of bleach...

Coming from a small coal mining town in SW PA, we were called Dagos.Then there there were Spics, Hunkies, Cheeseheads, Micks, Johnny Bulls. We often referred to blacks as [bleep] to their faces. No one was offended. Years later I leaned a [bleep] was a worthless person, with no reference to their skin collar.

We never tried to date girls from other ethnic groups which usually resulted in an ass whippin from that group. I dated an Irish girl once. Her father told me to go back to the Dago community. I did, but made sure the next guy she dated had seconds, not the the first. I ended up marrying one. It didn't take though. Those redheads were hot blooded gals.

My ex FIL & MIL were Irish, they hated my guts

As referred to above, I never knew what Brazil nuts were.

Gone haywire.