Is hard to beat, that's what an ol timer told me 16 years ago.

Yah know, he was right

I've also heard that they're better than sxx but I haven't gotten to that point yet.

No need ta beat poop. In fact, you will likely enjoy it more if you don't. ;-{>8

Just wait 3 or 4 days before having one.

An old timer once told me...
"There is nothing more over rated as a piece of a--"
or under rated as a good chit".

I enjoyed three dozen big sweet black cherries yesterday now that they are in season. This morning, I gave birth to a politician.

Today, I had more cherries and half a cantaloupe. Tomorrow, I may give birth to a politician and a lawyer.

Maybe so, but I'd still rather have a piece of a-- than a good [bleep]...!

You guys are fulla [bleep].

I guess it depends upon how long it's been since you've had either.

Had a cousin tell me that taking a good schit was better than [bleep].

I replied that either I didn't know much about schitting, or he didn't know much about [bleep]...

Now, as I get older, I have thoughts now and then that he may have been onto something.

It feels good.

Its free.

And people generally leave you alone to do it.


What more could you want?

Yeah, but the telephone always rings when you're doing it!

Your names Mudstud..that's all you got?

Something women don't understand....

When a man goes in to take a dump he should be carrying his phone,a drtink, maybe a snack,a radio to listen to, and something to read. Its like mini-camping.....

You are gettin old bro!

Not gettin' old...Im already there!

I just took a 1.5 mile hike UP and mountain, and another 1.5 DOWN the mountain...can't decide which hurt more....

My wife complains that I take forever. I take my time...make sure everything comes out alright!!

health nut............

Being left alone is never overrated, but giving more than a damn about who might be on the other end of the phone line often is.

A good magazine to go with...

This thread has baboon azz potential, IMO.

No job is complete until the paper work is done.

Walking in....sniffing the air....reading the title....exiting....

NOW I know how I got those three gold stars on my man card....

It all works out in the end.

I've never had to join a movement, I have one every day.

Whats not to like?

And the REAL reason women leave you alone when you are pooping is the same reason they close their eyes during sex....


They can't stand to see a man have a good time....

This is from a long time ago, I mixed castor oil with holy water
and started a religious movement.

I've never thought about having a woman face me during sex, learn something new everyday.

Oh, pshaw! Just keep it so you can both watch TV.....

If you eat right, you'll Chit right.

simple enough equation.

Strange thread, this one.

GTC

Plus the small of their backs nestle a can cooler just right.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AS1HIThPcz8

I must eat right then

You don't need to beg, pay for, prep or cuddle after.
You can read while you're doing it too.

When I was a young man a morning "eye opener" had a different meaning than it does now. I really don't get too busy without a good purge in the morning.

Every night just like clockwork, right before shower, shave and the sack in that order.

Gunner

Every morning, just like clockwork, just befor shower, shave and off to work...in that order..

7

I gots ta shower befoe bed, farmin is dirty work.

Gunner

My Father used to try and get me to take some of his Metamucil, he said it will make you feel good, i now know what he meant

whatever,

My G'ma used ta make me drink warm water in the mornin to "keep me regular".

I had no idea, until I was an adult, what she was talkin about, but knew I did not want to be not regular. Just sayin.

Glad there are so many regular guys at the fire. ;-{>8

WHAT!!???

It is said:



A young man dreams of good sex.

A middle-aged man dreams of a good meal.

An old man dreams of a good [bleep]!

I'm turning 55 this week. If, at any other time of my life, you'd have thrown this thread at me, I'd have passed it by.

However, in just the past month or so, I have had what can only be called optimal bowel movements. I'm not going to bore y'all with the details. However, when they occurred , I knew my lifetime bathroom experience had been leading up to this.

I'm not a man that is fixated on the subject. These weren't great epiphanies. They came, they went. That was that. Nothing more or less.

I just wanted to share that with y'all, and let you know that I understand.

There is nothing like being in hunting camp & taking a dump in the woods at night & stepping in someone's [bleep].

Ironic...I'm in the process of one right now.

A good poop can make your day go better.

Nothing better than a good morning....hang on, I'll be right back....

Power ventilation

And freedom from hemorrhoids

Good poop is like half of an intercourse, my old man said.

A big bowl of granola cereal will clean you right out and you won't have to worry about having to sit on the throne for the next two days.

Fiber is your friend.

Coffee and a pinch of Skoal is the best laxative ever invented.

Wow, I'm jealous.
I caught some kind of food poison Wednesday and I'm still chained to the hopper. It hit me 50 miles from town in the woods, thank goodness there was a Forest Service outhouse within shuffling distance.
Man....the Imodium is not working very well.
Got me thinking about making millions with a catchy ad campaign for "Baboon Butter."

Imodium is my friend. When it's not working there's something bad going on.

Im tellin' ya like it is neighba.

Gunner

It's all that high dollar beer, get yourself a thirty pack of Bud Black Crown and a gallon of tomato juice. LMFAO

Gunner

I do like some fiber in the morning with a coffee chaser. Makes a good pusher for dinner from the night before. Next best is a nice, thick, loud, dry fart

Dry farts are not loud. More of a Foooomp.

Yall are enjoying your turd making a little too much IMO. Get it done and get out, that's how it's done.


Cross was right, this is a strange thread.

You ever had the [bleep] so bad that instead of having to wipe your a$$hole,

you had to wipe your whole a$$?

I call those shower [bleep], after your done you need a shower