Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire for Les, a flatulence story.

Ok les. since the bathroom humor seems to be alive & well here's one you may appreciate.

True story.

There were these 2 brothers living in an old rickety abandoned house in the 50's. These boys were wild, just plain crazy wild like land pirates or something.

They had both been on the town boozing pretty hard the night before, the weather was hot, the kind of hot that makes you sleep with no covers on. The kind of hot that made the one passed out drunken brother sleep naked with no covers upstairs in that run down old farm house.

This was the kind of place that was bare of paint & gray with age, crumbled plaster on the inside showed the lath & sawdust insulation in the walls. The stairs leading to the drunken brothers resting place on the second level were treacherous old plank steps that creaked when you walked on them.

Ole Ike passed out necked on that bed upstairs, the sun is about mid high for the day & brother Zeek is stirring downstairs. Zeek is frisky, hell he's still drunk. He goes to check on his brother Ike & finds him passed out in this vulnerable position. It don't take Zeek long to come up with a really good stunt.

Zeek scrounges up a good strong piece of string about 3' long & approaches his necked brother Ike's bed. Ike is sleeping on his back with one leg straight & the other leg cocked at the hip & knee so the bottom of his right foot is against the inside of his left knee. He's pretty much splayed wide open with his junk on display for the world.

Zeek does his best to control his giggling as he first attaches one end of the string to Ike's big toe on his right foot. That wasn't so bad, now the tricky part... to tie the other end of the string to Mr Winky.

Zeek fashions a loop at the end of the string & pulls the string through the loop making a self tightening noose of sorts. he then carefully slides the self tightening loop over the head of Mr Winky. He leaves a little bit of slack in the string that connects Mr Winky to Mr Big Toe on that cocked leg.

Ahh, the prep is done, now on with the stunt.

Ike's bed has a tall wrought iron head board which makes it easy for Zeek to accomplish step 2.

Zeek pulls his pants & drawers off, stuffs his drawers in one pant leg & puts his pants over the back of his neck & ties the legs like a scarf around his neck. He does this so he doesn't loose his pants while he makes what will be the run for his life.



Now lets just slow down for a minute, just pause for a second to take all of this is in. Old Zeek is an artist, I mean a true genius. Take a look at what is about to happen here, You got a guy passed out nacked with his wanker tied to his big toe & you got another guy standing over him giggling with delight who by the way has just removed his pants & tied them around his neck. No good & I mean absolutely no good can possibly come of this.

Zeek climbs the wrought iron head board with his rear end hanging over his brothers head, he is facing the iron headboard. His toes are curled & gripping the iron rods near Ike's pillow & his fingers grip the top of the head board frame. Slowly he lowers his rump over his brothers face hanging like a monkey from what is now a slightly arched & heavily loaded iron headboard. He's been hanging onto this painfully over pressurized pocket of gas in his bowels for far too long. Zeek's O-ring has a clenching grip but he can hold out no longer, it is time.

He's laughing as he releases this unbearable gas pressure over his brothers unsuspecting face, laughing at his evil wake up call until he realizes... it wasn't exactly the driest fart he's experienced.... Rather wet & messy as a matter of fact.....

Ike wakes immediately to the view of his brothers rear hovering over his freshly speckled face....

Ike went from sleep to rage in an instant...

Zeek falls to the floor besides the bed & quickly scrambles to his feet for the sprint down the stairs. Ike is like an animal!! he's ready to strike & by god he will catch his brother, he will catch him!!

He leaps from the bed and hits the wood floor running.... kind of.... There is definitely something wrong... A very confusing thing... pain from his private area when he tries to run, and he can't straighten out his right leg... something's up with his toe as well....he realizes a little bit too late what the problem is.

So, here's poor Ike falling, rolling naked down those plank stairs with a Zeek speckled face and his big toe tied to his wanker.

Ike lay at the bottom of the stairs, still not quite awake, a bit confused about the incident that has just taken place....

He's going to need a few minutes to collect himself before he begins what will become about a 3 week manhunt for his brother Zeek....

Good luck Zeek, you're gonna need it.

OMG! TFF I'm dying here!

Holy Crap this is absolutely hilarious!

I was hoping you'd like that one.

can ya see the guy laying at the bottom of those steps bare necked with a brown speckled face, body all bruised up & scraped, ding-a-ling still tied to his big toe....

oh it's one of my fav stories.

Use it wisely, use it often.

Dave

Yes, I could see that happening, hell, I probably would have still been runnin' That ranks right up there with shaving your butt hair and roping Deer. les

Dave, where in the hell do you come up with these stories???

I could never spend more than 20 minutes with you in a deer camp, my stomach couldn't take it.

It's funny as hell reading it, what would it be like in person.

Thanks for the laughs

Rob

9.9

TFF dude! [img]http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e47/meplat/jumping.gif[/img]

John

Dave,

To me, bathroom jokes are right up there with some of the finest things in life. And this joke is right up there with the best of those.

Thanks for brightening my day.

Steve

it is better in person told with some animation & with a few beers.

you guys know the story now & It's been impossible for me to forget so I think it'll probably stick with you guys for a while. hopefully be told around a real campfire with good friends & a few drinks.

belly laughs.

good stuff.

I'm surprised that scene hasn't been filmed ...

Animal House II anyone?

actually probably not the kind of story a guy should just give away. But you guys all deserve a good free laugh.

And it wouldn't suprise me one bit if I watched a comedy movie some day & saw this used in a scene

Ya mean yer brother ain't caught ya yet!!!

Truth be known ...... likely Dave hasn't caught HIS brother yet...

still trying to get mt face clean.....

HOLY ****! This has tears rolling down my cheeks. Someone came walking by my office and I tried to contain but just did a big snnnkkkkk well they looked at me like I�m nuts and now my nasal cavity is burning like hell from the excess Husky fine cut natural that decided to go flyin through it about 100 mph!