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Joined: Dec 2002
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Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
Oh, I've been to other rodeos. It's just that this one had over a month of waiting and build-up.
This is kind of like the day before the November Rifle Opener in reverse.
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Joined: May 2005
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,449 |
Another of Shaman's, ' Poo', stories in the making? Fixed it. I had mine 4yrs ago. Easy enough. Damned inconvenient, though. And correct about the baby wipes, Charmin or not.
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing." Robert E. Howard
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,223 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 28,223 Likes: 1 |
The shaman is giving himself a colonoscopy for his birthday.
Liftoff is scheduled for 1600 LIMA today. That's when I start drinking the go-juice that I just mixed and put in the fridge. That puts MECO sometime before 2300 (God willing). Lunar Orbit Insertion is at 0745 tomorrow. Where's Rocky when you need him?
The pad is ready. I can get Netflix in the bathroom. I treated myself to an online subscription to Rifle, Handloading, and Successful Hunter. There's two full jars of beef bullion next to the microwave, and Lemon-Lime Gatorade in the fridge. I also have Ken Water's Pet Loads handy.
KYHillChick is taking off work as well to act as ground crew.
You are going to give yourself a colonoscopy? You must be flexible.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
Preparation H.
The cream style..... not the old "ointment" type.
And where's the .45 in the ziploc?
Dang! A ziploc? You're expecting more backsplash than I was. If you look closely at the pic, there's a Ruger P-90 with an extended mag next to the Rem 1100.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1 |
I also have Ken Water's Pet Loads handy. I've been thinking that you have many friends here that will be happy to abuse you to take your mind off the upcoming, errr... "Grand Opening Event". I'm happy to contribute to distracting you. So, after the colonoscopy, perhaps you should replace "Pet Loads" with this book: John
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
Here's a better pic.
Last edited by shaman; 07/30/15.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
I also have Ken Water's Pet Loads handy. I've been thinking that you have many friends here that will be happy to abuse you to take your mind off the upcoming, errr... "Grand Opening Event". I'm happy to contribute to distracting you. So, after the colonoscopy, perhaps you should replace "Pet Loads" with this book: John John, thanks for the suggestion. I have a copy, and it's going on the pile right now. Update: Angus slept in this morning, but finally got up, and gave me my birthday present. [img] https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/ND6JizBJ35997X67R0sd44vO_Kh4CBxfPs1KXmiobBg=w779-h584-no[/img] It's a stag horn back scratcher.
Last edited by shaman; 07/30/15.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
I was on my 8th cup of beef bullion. It tastes great, but it is only 5 calories. It probably takes more to fix it than I get back in consuming it. Dang! Here it is afternoon, and I haven't started my writing project. Where's that . . .? . . . ah! There it is. The Popeil Pocket Third Person has been a handy tool for me all these years. I'm a writer that tends to do his best work, writing in third person. The Pocket Third Person takes everything I'm going to write in 1st person and transposes it in my head so I experience the world in third person. There's a bunch of settings and it all gets really subtle, but that's the short of it. I got my first one while I was in college, and I'm now on my third. I hear you can get them on E-Bay. Here let me demonstrate how it works. I'll just switch it on. . . and. . . The shaman looked up from his computer. He found himself located in his bathroom. It was oddly decorated, not unlike a small den or home office. The Pocket Third Person sat before him on the tray table,it's red light blinked, showing it was working. Eventually, working through a slight bit of confusion, the shaman realized why it was turned on and turned the device off. Ah! There! See, I am back to normal now. Well, there is a bit of wooziness from switching back and forth so quickly. However, I'll just stay seated until it wears off. Did I mention that KYHillChick brought me a really cool present? She went down to the Somali restaurant and found me a box of my favorite Gunpowder tea, and brought me that and a little blue teapot, so I'll have tea this afternoon along with my bullion.
Last edited by shaman; 07/30/15.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,154
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,154 |
The shaman is giving himself a colonoscopy for his birthday.
Liftoff is scheduled for 1600 LIMA today. That's when I start drinking the go-juice that I just mixed and put in the fridge. That puts MECO sometime before 2300 (God willing). Lunar Orbit Insertion is at 0745 tomorrow. Where's Rocky when you need him?
The pad is ready. I can get Netflix in the bathroom. I treated myself to an online subscription to Rifle, Handloading, and Successful Hunter. There's two full jars of beef bullion next to the microwave, and Lemon-Lime Gatorade in the fridge. I also have Ken Water's Pet Loads handy.
KYHillChick is taking off work as well to act as ground crew.
Great Minds that think alike! I had both ends run on Monday this week. Unfortunately since I am working away from home, my facilities are up the 3 steps in my 5th wheel camper. Sitting on that small pot got old in a hurry. Keeping myself supplied with beef broth and, yes, lime jello from the kitchen was a problem a couple of times that resulted in some additional laundry to do. Hope your results turn out as good as mine! Good Luck!
My biggest fear is when I die my wife will sell my guns for what I told her they cost....
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Joined: May 2003
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,283 Likes: 9 |
Didja know that Utah is the lime Jello capital of the universe? Yup. More of it sold and apparently eaten here than anywhere else either side of Pluto. The usual serving suggestion is called "salad" hereabouts; lime jello with fine carrot shavings in it.
Yeah, I know. Weird.
Anyway, the Gunpower blend ought to suit you to a "T".
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
We'll know in a bit. T-Minus 1 hour 54 minutes and counting.
I stuck my finger in the go-juice just now to figure out how bad it was. Pretty bad. Vaguely citrusy in an industrial sort of way.
I was thinking of my Dad. He fulfilled the role of "Sparky" in the real-live Korea. He was the corporal back at HQ that the "Radars" used to call up when they needed stuff. What got me to thinking about him was his story of how he used to mix the medicinal alcohol with frozen OJ concentrate and make Screwdrivers. Whenever there were nurses coming into Kimpo, he'd drive over with an ambulance with a couple of buddies and a gallon of Screwdriver to meet the plane. He said they would deliver every nurse to the M.A.S.H. units plastered and pregnant.
I was a bit aghast when he told me this. It was a couple of years before he died. He said the nurses usually were scared witless of the prospect of being so close to the fighting, and getting knocked up was their only way out. He and the guys at Division HQ were more than happy to take care of the problem.
NO! Dad. I wasn't worried about that! I was thinking how many half-brothers and sisters I might have running around.
Dad thought for a minute and changed the subject.
Now, I'm wondering what his recipe was. 8:1? 5:1? All of a sudden I'm sitting in Dad's bathroom missing him.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,257 Likes: 11
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 19,257 Likes: 11 |
Gosh if you're like most of the posters here you really shouldn't need to get a doctor involved at all. Just bend over, poke your head up your azz and have a look around.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
The shaman is giving himself a colonoscopy for his birthday.
Liftoff is scheduled for 1600 LIMA today. That's when I start drinking the go-juice that I just mixed and put in the fridge. That puts MECO sometime before 2300 (God willing). Lunar Orbit Insertion is at 0745 tomorrow. Where's Rocky when you need him?
The pad is ready. I can get Netflix in the bathroom. I treated myself to an online subscription to Rifle, Handloading, and Successful Hunter. There's two full jars of beef bullion next to the microwave, and Lemon-Lime Gatorade in the fridge. I also have Ken Water's Pet Loads handy.
KYHillChick is taking off work as well to act as ground crew.
Great Minds that think alike! I had both ends run on Monday this week. Unfortunately since I am working away from home, my facilities are up the 3 steps in my 5th wheel camper. Sitting on that small pot got old in a hurry. Keeping myself supplied with beef broth and, yes, lime jello from the kitchen was a problem a couple of times that resulted in some additional laundry to do. Hope your results turn out as good as mine! Good Luck! I would have just put one of these in the bushes and said to heck with the indoor facility:
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 18,994
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 18,994 |
You won't remember a thing... except the foul taste of the prep Hope all is well. Best wishes, Chris THIS
Leo of the Land of Dyr
NRA FOR LIFE
I MISS SARAH
“In Trump We Trust.” Right????
SOMEBODY please tell TRH that Netanyahu NEVER said "Once we squeeze all we can out of the United States, it can dry up and blow away."
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
T-Minus 1 hour 23 minutes.
I hired a little German guy from up the street, and gave him a white coat and a hat we stole from Steak & Shake. He's going to help me buckle in and then give me a big thumbs up before locking me in the bathroom. I'll use the back scratcher to start the fan. He'll then make sure that end of the house is cleared out.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,283 Likes: 9
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,283 Likes: 9 |
There are apparently several different "prep" kits. The ones I've used contained some standard commercial laxative tablets, a bottle of CitriLax, and two bottled enemas. Never had the two-liter of guck one. No biggie either way; you just poop until you think there CAN'T be any more goo in there - and then you spew and spray until you think there can't be any more YOU in there. Addendum. I'm simply amazed that nobody has linked to the classic Dave Barry piece. So HERE IT IS
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,172 Likes: 14
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,172 Likes: 14 |
Take Depends along for after. You'll be blowing wet dispelling the gas they inflate you with. Sweet dreams! Did not have that problem myself. When I woke up the nurse said if I felt like farting it was normal. Thunder came to the ward at that very moment. She told me later I might have set a record for the clinic. It made me feel special.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
The countdown stands at T-Minus 47 minutes and counting.
The the first of several warning sirens have sounded.
[video:youtube]SaYUqXAmXRQ[/video]
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,174
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2004
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Good luck Shaman. I'm having mine next month. Can't wait. The first one since I passed 50 a few years back.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,336 |
T-Minus 12 minutes:
The Go Juice has come out of the refrigerator. The old German guy just gave me the thumbs up, and then ran for his life.
The tray table is up and the seat has been returned to the upright position.
[video:youtube]veDcp3wB3JA[/video]
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