Home Forums Miscellaneous Topics Humor, Jokes, and Riddles Oli Jokes (plz add ur own)

Hey, my dad has told me a lot of Oli jokes, and I find them very humorous. So, I'm going to tell you one, and if you read it, you need to add ur own

Oli moved to a new town and started a ranch. It turns out that the whole town was Catholic. It was during lent and every Friday, the people smelled beef cooking at Oli's farm. So everyone in the town decides they need to do something about this. So they all ask Olie if he wants to become Catholic, and Olie was new, so he wanted to fit in. So he does. When he was baptised, the pastor sprinkled holy water on him he said "Oli, you were born a Methodist, you were raised a Methodist, now you're Catholic" But every Friday, they still smelled beef coming from Oli's farm. So they went over and they saw Oli sprinkling salt on his cows saying "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, now you're fish"

Oli sent Sven to the lumber store for a board, Sven comes back from the store says the clerk wants to know how thick do you want the board, Oli tells him 2”.
Sven leaves, comes back and says the clerk wants to know how wide, Okie tells him 4”.
Sven leaves and sure enough, returns again, the clerk wants to know how long do you want the board, Oli, surprised what a stupid question answers “a long time, we’re building a house!”

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. They all went in at the same time. After only two minutes the Dane came running out. Five minutes later the Swede stumbled out the door. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out.

Then there is Oli's buddy, Svin.

Ole and Lena moved into town to a new apartment complex after they were married. A week later Sven met Ole on the street. "Ole you gotta pull your window shades down now. You're in town. Last night everyone saw you running after Lena and neither of you had a stich of clothes on."
Ole replied, "Ha ha, I fooled you, I wasn't even dere last night!"

Before Ole and Lena were married, Lena’s parents pulled Ole aside.

Ole, Lena’s mother said, we ‘ave to tell ya sumting ‘bout Lena yous should know.

Oo yah, what is it?, Ole asked.

Ole, Lena has Acute Angina, her mother bouts out

Ole thinks a second, Yah, ah know, she ‘as cute t!ts too.

Ole and Sven decides 3rd grade isn’t for them. They were going out into the world to make their fortune. They get into Ole’s ‘52 Ford pickup and start driving. They enter the outskirts of Chicago and they see a sign on a window, “Shirts $1, Trousers $.50, Suits $5”.
Ole slams on the brakes and backs up into the parking space. He tells Sven to keep quiet because he sounds stupid — we’re going to make a fortune here.
They walk in, Ole says, “We’ll take 10 of dem shirts, 20 of dem trousers and trow in a few of dem suits too!”
The sales guy says, “Say you guys wouldn’t be Norwegians would ya?”
Ole is stunned, “Why yea we are?” He adds sheepishly.
“You guys wouldn’t be from Duluth, Minnesota, would ya?”
Ole hangs his head and says, “How did you know?”

“This here is a dry cleaners!” Was the reply.

Diesel fitter!

Ole called the airline information desk and asked, “How long does it take ta fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?

“Just a minute,” said the busy clerk.

“Thank you,” said Ole, as he hung up.

Ole and Lena got married.

After a beautiful ceremony and a fun but modest reception they got in Ole’s car and headed out on their honeymoon.

When they reached Saint Paul, Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee.

Lena said, “Ole, we’re married now. You can go farder den dat.”

So Ole drove to Duluth.