Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Divorce.....for those who have been through it how did you do it? Advise please

Since it's relevant, I looked it up.

No Fault for divorce...

Missouri Revised Statutes
Chapter 452
Dissolution of Marriage, Divorce, Alimony and Separate Maintenance
Section 452.305

August 28, 2010


Judgment of dissolution, grounds for--legal separation, when--judgments to contain Social Security numbers.

452.305. 1. The court shall enter a judgment of dissolution of marriage if:

(1) The court finds that one of the parties has been a resident of this state, or is a member of the armed services who has been stationed in this state, for ninety days immediately preceding the commencement of the proceeding and that thirty days have elapsed since the filing of the petition; and

(2) The court finds that there remains no reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and that therefore the marriage is irretrievably broken; and

(3) To the extent it has jurisdiction, the court has considered and made provision for child custody, the support of each child, the maintenance of either spouse and the disposition of property.

2. The court shall enter a judgment of legal separation if:

(1) The court finds that one of the parties has been a resident of this state, or is a member of the armed services who has been stationed in this state, for ninety days immediately preceding the commencement of the proceeding and that thirty days have elapsed since the filing of the petition; and

(2) The court finds that there remains a reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and that therefore the marriage is not irretrievably broken; and

(3) To the extent it has jurisdiction, the court has considered and made provision for the custody and the support of each child, the maintenance of either spouse and the disposition of property.

3. Any judgment of dissolution of marriage or legal separation shall include the last four digits of the Social Security numbers of the parties. The full Social Security number of each party and each child shall be retained in the manner required under section 509.520.

(L. 1973 H.B. 315 � 2, A.L. 1997 S.B. 361, A.L. 1998 S.B. 910, A.L. 2009 H.B. 481)



BUT

Missouri Revised Statutes
Chapter 452
Dissolution of Marriage, Divorce, Alimony and Separate Maintenance
Section 452.330

Disposition of property and debts, factors to be considered.

452.330. 1. In a proceeding for dissolution of the marriage or legal separation, or in a proceeding for disposition of property following dissolution of the marriage by a court which lacked personal jurisdiction over the absent spouse or lacked jurisdiction to dispose of the property, the court shall set apart to each spouse such spouse's nonmarital property and shall divide the marital property and marital debts in such proportions as the court deems just after considering all relevant factors including:

(1) The economic circumstances of each spouse at the time the division of property is to become effective, including the desirability of awarding the family home or the right to live therein for reasonable periods to the spouse having custody of any children;

(2) The contribution of each spouse to the acquisition of the marital property, including the contribution of a spouse as homemaker;

(3) The value of the nonmarital property set apart to each spouse;

(4) The conduct of the parties during the marriage; and

(5) Custodial arrangements for minor children.

2. For purposes of sections 452.300 to 452.415 only, "marital property" means all property acquired by either spouse subsequent to the marriage except:

(1) Property acquired by gift, bequest, devise, or descent;

(2) Property acquired in exchange for property acquired prior to the marriage or in exchange for property acquired by gift, bequest, devise, or descent;

(3) Property acquired by a spouse after a decree of legal separation;

(4) Property excluded by valid written agreement of the parties; and

(5) The increase in value of property acquired prior to the marriage or pursuant to subdivisions (1) to (4) of this subsection, unless marital assets including labor, have contributed to such increases and then only to the extent of such contributions.

giving a little extra can go a long way later when you need it.

its better to offer a little more equity and/or cash money up front that to make a monthly payment for several years.

if at all possible go with mediation. where you sit down with a neutral party and say I want this or that and split possessions that way if possible. do this AFTER you consult with attorneys and have one on retainer (just in case). its highly unlikely that both of you will agree 100% with each other on division of property. if you can barter for your guns and get an agreement to most of it before you have to go to court, it will save you money.
at least that woulda worked in my situation.

getting a lawyer and keeping a low profile is good advice.

remember if she's trying to piss you off, its to get you to do something stupid. when mine tried that, I reminded myself what she was doing and it gave me more resolve to just smile when she went on tirades and insult slinging.

I also got a voice recorder for any conversations we had one on one prior to going to court.

I had a friend who slept with his wife when they were splitting up and she accused him of rape, even though she came onto him. it was a set up. she never filed a police report but went to an abuse shelter and had a record of it to pull out later.
women can think and do some of the most underhanded chit you can think of.
at least you're not fighting for custody. remind her going to court is going to cost both of you LOTS of money. the more you can amicably decide who gets what the better you will be.

Most judges will tell you that you (the parties) will be happier if you decide who gets what, than if I have to decide. The parties know best what's really important them, not the judge.

+1. And they really, really hate when parties start squawking about conduct during marriage. They don't care. (1) The Judge will grant the divorce, its proforma; (2) unless it involved hiding assets, the judge doesn't care about what the parties did so that they ended up needing a divorce; (3) the Judge's job in family law is pretty formulaic, unless children are involved. Who gets what, percentages, credits, offsets.... it's all pretty black and white.

If you're going to leave, make sure you have copies of all your financial records. Don't steal them, but make sure you have copies. Change your email passwords. If you have online banking, download everything you can. Think about your online bank account passwords, if you use online banking. Don't cut her off from joint account information, but if you have individual accounts you're planning on using, make sure to disassociate those accounts from the joint accounts. Keep everything above board and honest.

Happiness can be waking in the morning and NOT having to say "I love you".

It gets easier with practise. At one time I kept a divorce attorney on retainer . Find the nastiest & best lawyer you can. I taught my present wife to shoot which may have been a big mistake. No divorce this time just funeral arrangements.

All depends on the money and kids if there is any. If not, take half, say goodbye, dont look back and let her divorce you. Be sure to keep you half of the money in cash and say you spent it all.

Didn't want to waste alot of money on lawyer fees only to still lose all my schit.

So I spent $3.99 on a box of Decon and Kool-Aid mix.

Decon? You killed her lawyer?

Her whole family loved Kool-Aid. Got the entire bunch in one afternoon.

Afterwards, I Put the decon in the cabinet next to the sugar. Cops thought it was a tragic accident, as her Mom was almost blind.

Hehheeee. Cheers!

It doesn't get better than that!! Congrats on a job well done!

Bad news is I had to pay to bury them.

I bought one big casket and stuffed 'em all in.

Figure I saved 20K.

You saved much,much more. My silence is another story.

I've had two.

My first wife was a vindictive crook - if yours is like that - hire a Barracuda type lawyer - and prepare for war. It'll cost you - big-time.

My second wife was (is) a wonderful person - who fell in love with another - for that divorce - my present wife (a lawyer) mediated the whole deal amicably - and my ex and I remain close friends. This ex, and her new husband, are guests at our home for all the kids special occasions, birthdays, Christmas morning, and we often sit together at school sports events or plays.

One is hell-but might be necessary.

One is almost pleasant by comparison (but still damn tough to go through)- but requires both parties to act like adults.

I wish you well.

Bob,

I got some more of that Kool-Aid in case you want to end it all after you lose all your money on the final 4.

Better than jumping out of the window.

LOL, I've prosecuted a couple of "self help divorce" guys.

Why further tax our over burdened legal system when a little Decon can make it all go away.

Elegant, JM.

Like someone else said, in California if there are no children involved its all pretty much by formula straight out of the book.

Doesn't make a damn bit of difference who is banging who. That is all perfectly legal and accepted at least in this state.

I smell ali-MONEY for her!

Can't you just cohabitate with an "unpleasant" rommmate (her?). Even for several months? Live in your own bedroom, back away emotionally but keeping your nose CLEAN! No girl friends. No getting drunk. Or doing dumb things. No getting so pizzed at anything she'd call the cops.

VERY, VERY DISCRETELY .....
Have you moved all your tools and professional belongings out of your house to a more secure location? That she can't touch?

I've heard of women who have hurt husbands financially/professionally when encouraged to do by their lawyers - friends - family members - clergy - etc.!

INSULATE YOURSELF! Men are "pigs." "Dogs" "Scum" If you're actually going to divorce INSULATE YOURSELF from any damage and "PAIN" (financial and otherwise) she can do to you!

What about your firearms? And any man-toys THAT ARE YOURS!!! ??? And not owned jointly? Move them away from her reach!

Have you moved any finances and investments AWAY from her access or control?

What about important papers? (consult your lawyer).

How about any heirlooms? Or sentimental favorites of YOURS you don't want to loose or have her destroy or dispose of?

Its been several years since my mother worked for CADA or a Guardian Adlightem in Washington state, but I remember hearing about a client (wife) who somehow got hold of some of her husband's shop tools. My mother's advice (to the poor picked-on, "abused" wife) was to sell, throw-away, give-away the husband's possessions before giving them back! My point is that's how women think!