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My 11 yo old son Tyler has been having trouble with a kid at school. For the past three years this kid has picked on him and talked a lot of shi++. Nothing too physical but there has been some occasional pushing in the back when he's not looking and that kind of crap. Mostly just getting in Tyler's face and talking crap around school.
They have played on the same baseball team the past three years and played on the same football team last year. Tyler took great pleasure in planting the kid on his ass a few times during football practice last year. I kind of figured that would solve the problem but it hasn't.
The bully is your typical story. Comes from a large family in this small area who have a little money. His mother doesn't work so she helps out a lot at the school and is friends with most of the teachers.
Bully started a fight at school with another kid earlier this year but didn't get in trouble. Other kid was reprimanded.
Dad is fairly well known in this small area and acts just like his son. Dad doesn't coach but always interjects himself into every first practice, baseball and football that his son has, then uses his small town influence to ensure his kid gets to play. I've watched this crap for the last three years, seen better players than his kid sit on the bench, while the bully gets to play the entire game. Makes me want to punch Dad in the mouth myself!!!
As so often is the case, kids raised like this walk around with a sense of entitlement, think they are the coolest, and the best at everything. When someone like Tyler comes along and threatens that ideology, they think they have to pick on them.
To this point I have told Tyler to take the high road but the little guy can only take so much. The bully had been telling everyone at school that he was going to kick my son's ass after a baseball game last night.
After the game Tyler and I simply left like we always do. If the bully had intentions of fighting that night I sure didn't see it. Dad didn't want none either as I intentionally sat about three feet from him the whole entire game. He had not one word to say, not one! Today bully goes to school and tells everybody Tyler is a punk and is scared to fight him.
As I said a kid can only take so much....Tyler came home to today and told me he is tired of turning the other cheek and wants me to give him permission to kick the bullies ass at school on Monday.
He says Monday because they have a school trip on Friday and he doesn't want to get kicked out of school until after. What do you think? Should I let him??? I'm thinking yes!!
X-VERMINATOR
Sooner or later our heritage of hunting is going to be a rich mans sport and the words "Outfitter" and "Hunt Industry" will be synonymous with cancer and A.I.D.S. among blue collar hunters like me and my family! (A.L. Williams - 2010)
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Campfire Outfitter
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It's the only way either of them is going to learn anything.
Hope you've given him the rules about fighting speach already.
Brian.
"You set your own goals for success, and when you succeed it don't necessarily mean that you're going to be a big star or make a lot of money or anything. You'll feel it in your heart whether you've succeeded or not." - Roy Buchanan
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Campfire Outfitter
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rules, there's no stinkin' rules in fighting. fight to win.
FJB
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Let him go to the punk's ass. Why does there always have to be an A-hole like that in every communtiy?
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Campfire Outfitter
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rules, there's no stinkin' rules in fighting. fight to win. Rule #1 - there are no rules Rule #2 - WIN at ANY cost Rule #3- hurt him before he hurts you Rule #4 - if you aren't fighting dirty, you aren't trying hard enough Rule #5 - there are no rules Brian.
"You set your own goals for success, and when you succeed it don't necessarily mean that you're going to be a big star or make a lot of money or anything. You'll feel it in your heart whether you've succeeded or not." - Roy Buchanan
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FJB
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Why does there always have to be an A-hole like that in every communtiy? It's been going on since the cavemen days, and it will still be going on when all of us are dead and gone. Brian.
"You set your own goals for success, and when you succeed it don't necessarily mean that you're going to be a big star or make a lot of money or anything. You'll feel it in your heart whether you've succeeded or not." - Roy Buchanan
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This day and age...your kid might be submitted to anger management classes...be declared mentally ill...and barred from the 2nd admendment...for life. Make him a puzzy and say I will not stand...I will let the teachers union handle it. Cause they will take it seriously..and get the bully the protection he needs.
My day and age...let your son beat his ass senseless...next year they will be best friends...just sayin
"What country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms." (Thomas Jefferson to James Madison, Dec. 20, 1787)
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Tell your Kid to pound him off school property.
Jed York does not own the 49ers; Russell Wilson does.
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Tell your Kid to pound him off school property. That's sage advice, even though the school will still get involved even if it happens 3 states away. Brian.
"You set your own goals for success, and when you succeed it don't necessarily mean that you're going to be a big star or make a lot of money or anything. You'll feel it in your heart whether you've succeeded or not." - Roy Buchanan
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There are worse things than getting suspended for a few days, and letting yourself get bullied is near the top of that list....at least that's what I told my son.
The fact that your son WANTS to personally deal with this issue speaks well for you and for his own character.
If you're not burning through batteries in your headlamp,...you're doing it wrong.
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NRA-Benefactor TSRA-Life
"It's a terrible thing when governments send their young men to kill each other." Charles Byrne,WW2 Vet. On the day Desert Storm began.
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My son was going through the same thing a couple of months ago and I'll tell you what I told him.
Hit em first, hit em hard and don't stop hitting till he don't want no more.
I first told my son to talk to the principle and give him every fair warning possible that if the kid didn't shut his mouth, Augustus was going to shut it for him. He relayed this info to the principle and told him what I said to do. Me and the principle had already covered this ground and he knew where I stood, so what happened the next day didn't come as a surprise.
Long story short, the boy needed an attitude adjustment and that's just what my son gave him. Of course with that comes the problem of a new-found power that he feels he can use at will. Going through that actually right now.
Parenting, there's a whole lotta things they didn't tell me when I hired on with this outfit.
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Tell your Kid to pound him off school property. The boys have another baseball game Friday night. I thought about confronting bully dad and bully son after the game. With Tyler in tow..... ask bully dad if he wants to take the boys around back and let them fight 'till somebody quits. I don't think bully dad would go for it though, and I'd probably just end up getting thrown in jail.....Still thinking about it 'cause the dad needs punched out anyway just for raising such a turd! X-VERMINATOR
Last edited by xverminator; 05/18/11.
Sooner or later our heritage of hunting is going to be a rich mans sport and the words "Outfitter" and "Hunt Industry" will be synonymous with cancer and A.I.D.S. among blue collar hunters like me and my family! (A.L. Williams - 2010)
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My dad always told me that if I ever started a fight he would whip my ass. He also told me to never back down from anybody and to stand my ground. He said never start it but always finish it.
I was in the 7th grade and a kid got in my face, My parents were divorced and I was smack dab in the middle of a custody battle and wasnt really myself. Anyway, this kid kept trying to get me to fight him and I never would, one day he said something about my mom and pushed me and I threw him off the bleachers and beat him like a runaway slave.
The coach wanted to give me licks and I wouldnt let him so he sent me to the principals office. The principal wanted to give me licks and I told him that if he called my dad and let me explain what happened I would let him. He called and gave his version and then hung up. I was devastated thinking that my old man had let me down. The principal told me that my dad was on his way and to get ready for licks as soon as he got there.
I WILL NEVER forget what happened that day. My dad came in, listened to the principal tell him how bad I was for what I had done. My dad asked me what happened and I told him everything and I was 100% honest with him. My father looked at the principal and said "if you put your hands on my son, EVER, I will come down here and put my hands on you!". He asked the principal if he was clear enough for him. The principal just looked at him and said yes.
My dad was a big dude, all american college football player and built like a brick [bleep]. Nobody wanted to mess with him. He was hard but he was fair, if I had been in the wrong he would have let the principal give me licks then given them to me himself but a lot harder.
He told the principal that he was taking me out of school for the rest of the day. I'll never forget that he took me to Dairy Queen and told me that he was proud of me. He was proud of me for defending my mother and for standing up for myself. He was most proud that in my time of need I stood up to adults and made them call him so he could do the right thing by me.
I will never forget that lesson and will pass it along to my children. The sad thing is that we live in a different day and age but I will still continue to live the way my father taught me
Basically, I would tell your son that if the bully starts a fight then its OKto end it but to not pick the fight. I would then tell him that if there is a problem to call you asap so you can help defend him.
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The dad will cost five more dollars and a Pepsi. But no one could find them. Nah, if someone was fronting([bleep] with, I am learning street talk) my son, I would buy two pairs of UFC gloves and have them duke it out. Winner is the one that stays in the longest.
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I was lucky to have a dad who was 6'4 and weighed 280 pounds. Pure muscle and a face that would stop anyone from challenging him. Plus he was a police officer-retired as a lietenant. He had one talk with my about fighting after I had a squabble in grade school. He told me to never start a fight, always walk away when possible. If the other guy throws a punch, hit back and finish the fight as quick as possible. And NEVER hit a guy who is down. I followed these rules throughout the rest of my life. Got called chicken for walking away but mostly talked the other person into seeing reason. I only had one incident as an adult. My sister, who lived four houses away, had an abusive boy friend who hated my niece because she stood up to him and let him know what she thought of him. One night my nephew came up to the house to tell me that this jerk was beating up my niece (who was probably 12 or so). I called the cops. They arrested him and hauled his butt to jail. My sister followed the cop car and bailed him out. She chewed my niece out for upsetting the jerk. A few nights later same thing happened. I told my nephew to wait ten minutes and then call the cops. I went down to the house and there was the jerk on the front porch kicking my niece with his cowboy boots. I did a little attitude correction right then and there. Never saw a guy get on a motorcycle and take off so fast in my life. When the cops got there I explained what happened. They knew this jerk -he had a looooong history of beating women-and basically laughed about what happened, Dude never came back to my sister's house. Went looking for easier pickins I suppose. I still smile when I think about what I did. Could have been in trouble but would have been worth it. Sorry for the long personal story but I have a point. Do the right thing and fight fair and for the right reason.
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Went through this with more than one big bully as a kid, and have watched such situations evolve to the point of ridiculousness in the current school scene.
Was just average in size but very big on "don't touch me", and was raised the same as huntsonora. Never picked a single fight and kicked butt rather heavily the few times the bully hit or pushed me first. The teachers/principal did talk harshly to me, but they were smarter than today's "educators" and knew these things are best left to the kids.
Since you ask, my thoughts are: do not get yourself involved with the dad or kid, verbally or otherwise; advise your son not to instigate an attack merely in response to lies or insults - let those go because anyone with sense will know the bully for what he is; if he is going to respond forcefully, he should do that away from the school and, preferably, away from any crowd or gathering; if he decides to respond to some physical attack, he should strike suddenly, hard and relentlessly until the other kid is down, crying and whipped. Then walk away.
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I like triggerguard1's solution. Whatever happens, make sure of 2 things: 1st, Your son does not start anything. If the other kid is the aggressor in front of witnesses, it will be better for your son. 2nd, be supportive of your son. It sounds like he was willing to avoid trouble for as long as possible. However, this other kid called the tune, maybe it's time to do the dance. If your son gets thrown out of school, go fishing or something.
Other advice for your son: don't hit him in the head unless you go for the nose, you might break your hand. A kick to the knee will take him down quick. If he stays down, let it go. If he comes back at you, keep knocking him down until he quits. If he pulls a weapon, run. There is always tomorrow. Finally, don't turn your back on him while he's still able to fight. If it's over, back away and then move out of the AO.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. --H. L. Mencken www.oregonfirearms.org
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