Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire church relatred question

With Jessica's laws in almost every state he is probably going away for ten or more years, but that really has nothing to do with your problem.

If he is really trying to clean up his life then you are on the right track. Letting him attend adult functions and keeping him escorted at all times is just protecting your children from a known danger. It is also protecting the church and even perhaps you trustees from legal action in the chance he molests another child.

I hope the 15 year old is getting the help she will obviously need.

I agree that this 20 year old is a POS. I do not agree with how some things are handled within each church, but everyone is entitled to practice their religeon in their own way.

wilkeshunter, I am sorry for my personal attack, it was rude and uncalled for.

I am going to bow out of this "spirted discussion" and wish you a good night.

brandon

Why do you have to allow him on the church grounds while he is pending adjudication?

Has he been criminally charged? If so, what are his bail conditions? I would be EXTREMELY surprised to learn that it would be OK for him to be around his victim or other juveniles.

Ed

Are y'all so hard up for members that you can't tell the wierdo to go find another church and stay the hell away from yours?

The "Pastor" has responsibility for his flock.He should tell you trustees that the guy is to be gone or he is leaving.

Stand outside the church house next Sunday AM and chunk rocks at him like you would a stray dog.If any of you are guilty of what he has done,don't throw rocks.

But you can shout cusswords at him.

He is allowed because Jesus died for him too. We may not like it but that is the way I read my Bible.

He has been charged and has confessed. He has not yet been sentenced. We do not have to allow him on church grounds, but choose to let him attend with the conditions previously stated. This has been his chuch for his entire life, and he NEEDS to be in church. Despite his actions he deserves God's grace and he deserves to hear the word of God in his church. The other trustees and myself are just trying to make the church available to him, while ensuring the utmost of protection for the others on site. We care about him and his victim, and we are praying for both of them.

If there were no sinners in church there would be no people.

It sure would keep me out!

Jesus also said something about a millstone around the neck for guys who hinder children.

A 15 year old girl is a child compared to a 20 year old man.

The guy is un-repentent.If the people in the church allow him to manipulate them,they are no better than him and I feel sorry for all the kids in that congregation.

This deal is a no-brainer.Run his ass off.Does this particular congregation think they have the market cornered on salvation,for cryin' out loud.

I do not know what is in his heart so I cannot judge. He sinned big time in the eyes of the Lord and the eyes of the law. He should go to prison. But if he asks for forgiveness and turns away from sin then my Bible says he is forgiven.

And before you start down the road about what if it was my child let me remind everyone I am the guy who has three daughters, eight granddaughters and two great granddaughters. I would lay down my life for any of them. And I have a SIL who was raped as a young lady around 18 and has a son she has raised to adulthood as a product of the rape. So no, I am not soft on this kind of sin/crime. But my Bible tells me this man is someone Jesus died for no matter what I think of his actions.

There is no manipulation going on here. Our church does not proclaim that we are the standard for Christianity. We simply try and do our best to create an atmosphere of Christian love. I can assure you that the youth in this church will be VERY well protected. I have an eight year old that will soon be involed in the youth activities, and I have a responsibility to protect everyone on church grounds. This situation may take care of itself if he gets prison time. This guy will not be run off unless there is an attempted incident at church. Based on our policy, there is no chance that he can reoffend unless he trespasses without our knowledge. He has to be escorted onto church grounds, accompanied by two adult church members while on church grounds, and escorted off church grounds each time he comes to worship.

That church needs to make house calls...

We do. We call it door step ministry. It it meant for homebound members and others interested in hearing the word of God.

"Safe Sanctuary" policy, or not (difficult to understand what that really means) - compassion for him and his family, or not - your governing body (trustees) will be doing something stupid, and possibly costly, if you give that fellow the least access to anyone he might harm or harass. Our command to be understanding and compassionate is not a command to subject others - or our church body - to possible harm.

Well,I see several things wrong here.

1.A church should not have unsupervised youth period.The young man in question is not the only young person who might do something on church property or a youth trip if not properly supervised.There should be no need to have two adults watch him at all times,they should be watching all the youth at all times.

2.At 20 years old he should not even be involved in youth activities other than when gathered in the sanctuary with everyone else.The youth should be up to 18 years old.Thoes over 18 should be in a young adults group if you have enough for such a gathering.We have youth and teen clases,and even then they are seperated in close age groups.

3.I don't know the situation with this young man.It could be as bad or innocent as I could imagine.You did say that the sex was consensual.Reguardless of the actual law,IMHO some responsibility lies with the parent or guardian who allowed a 15 year old girl with the 20 year old boy,I mean really ,don't be naive enough to think a sexual encounter wouldn't happen if you put any two of this age together alone.

You say he confessed to the pastor,which would indicate to me that he is repentant.No, you don't need to let anything happen with him again,but it shouldn't be an issue if you have taken adequate precautions from it happening with any of the members.There is no need to single him out as if he is the only one in the church that has ever sinned.

I do feel sorry for the girl and her parents but I also feel sorry for the boy.These kinds of things happen all the time and have since the world began.You just need to teach the parents and church officials that the only way to avoid it is to not let young unmarried girls and boys together unsupervised.

Yes I am raising 3 girls.The oldest is 22 and never dated untill she was 17 and was not unsupervised untill she was 18.You cannot allow your girls to date like the rest of the world and expect different results than the rest of the world.

Stone him

How is this going to end?

I forsee nothing good coming from this.
Is the church supposed to baby sit this man forever?
A 20 year old needs to stand up for his actions.
Even if it means being stoned.

A difficult situation, the key to which is the heart of this young man.

Best possible outcome IMHO would be that he receive help through a prison ministry for the next few years. And the young lady and her parents could stand some counseling & instruction also.

Is this a UMC church per chance?

A buddy of mine had a related situation going on at his church. He was not a part of the decision making group but they invited him to a meeting to offer input. The first question he asked them is how often have they prayed for direction. The room was silent, everyone was looking at the ground. Situations like this cannot be dealt with properly without lots of prayer time.

Once again, we do not have all the information to fully understand the dynamics of the situation. Not blaming you, it's just the medium we are using that limits the amount and quality of the information.

I fully agree that the perpetrator needs God's grace and that he needs the support of his church family and NEEDS to be in church.
My biggest concern is for the victim and other potential victim(s). Another concern is how the youth members perceive the church's treatment of the perpetrator. Does that treatment appear (to them) as condoning or minimizing his actions, or does it appear as concerned, aware, adults trying to keep them safe and control the situation?

With that, I will also bow out, for I cannot offer advice or even effective counsel without fully understanding where you are.

I will certainly pray for you and your church, that you may get the answers you need and that your church holds as a safe place for folks to attend.

Ed