Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Some thoughts about a nephew that is not 'transitioning' well.

Give him emotional support and don't force the issue. Does he have any injuries? TBI or any other diagnoses? Is he medicated currently or seeing anyone? Keep him busy, don't take him drinking ect. Anything particular he is not adjusting too? Is he married or have kids? Take all that into account.

I know perfectly well what the young fella is going through. He absolutely HAS TO have someone he can actually talk to about what he saw. PM me tomorrow Sam.

I wish you and him the best Sam. I don't believe a 12 step program is the answer to a renewed hope in life.

I mean this very sincerely and do not want to sound preachy, but I honestly believe with all my heart that the real change occurs when a man accepts Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

No other change can satisfy the broken man. It's super-natural and beyond explanation, but is true and real.

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Well stated.

What Jim said.
Just leave the VA out of it(for now). It's almost an insult sometime. Good luck Sam.

When I got out the first time I did not speak with anyone who was not a veteran, except for one loyal friend, for nine years. The Command Sergeant Major of the State of California described me as the worst case he has ever seen of someone trying to transition from the Regular Army to the Cal Guard. Nine more years have passed and I have a new family and career so I am forced to interact with people who do not understand me nor care to even try. I am still dismissed as a "nut" for serving. Too many civilians do not even care. They write off anyone as stupid if they volunteer to suffer with little economic reward. I stopped trying to explain and now just say, "If I have to explain it to you, you just do not get it." I am grateful for the people who do understand, who do care, or who do quietly "get it." The Fire has been a sanctuary for me for awhile.
So please don't push him to "blend back in." Give him you love and check to see if his friends, if he has any, are good and supporting, or not and destructive. Try to steer some good people his way. If it helps, tell him he is not alone. I did not have any positive encounters with the VA's counseling office. Find him some good men like him. I thank you for even caring about him. Good luck.

Sorry for butting in but...Only Pete knows what is eating at him and a few hundred thousand other guys.

I was for many a very strong, hard working, good providing man. Thirty six years after I was involved in a war, I just broke down one day and started crying. I was in my 50s.

Do not let Pete make the same mistake...If you cannot talk to him find another Vet who has been where he has and get them together. Not a Group, just one guy.

Call a Vet Center and they can help if you cannot find someone. 13 years later I am doing okay but it took a while. Talking to a fellow Vet is just the first step but it is a step in the right direction.

If you don't want to sound preachy, then don't preach. The born again vultures hang around enough base front gates to have them as common as hookers and pawn shops, and about as welcomed.

I really appreciate all the thoughts and help here. It's what makes the 'fire a special place.
When I get up to Birmingham, I'll go over this information with Petey. He is not in distress, that I know of. He has a job, joined the Alabama Guard, and has friends.
What he does NOT have, is the ability to just slip back into his old life, with folks that don't share his experiences. He has, well, some 'issues' dealing with people now.
I have a much better idea of how to talk to him now, and I know his family and I can make a difference with him.
again............thanks

AMEN that.

Your nephew is obviously one of the good guys and was raised right. You've had good advice here. Godspeed.

Ditto here..

I got nothin' either, but am reading Chris Kyle's book again and he relates how difficult it was to 'calm down' when he was back home, driving, and people would cut him off.. Said he wanted to chase 'em down, run 'em off the road etc, etc...'..

Sounds like your nephew is in the same boat.. My very best wishes off to you..

I'll second this advice. This organization does what many others cannot. It gives veterans a renewed sense of purpose.

Don't take this wrong but

He may need to talk to someone... a Professional

No shame in that

Better sooner than later


Tom

I could not agree more. Even some of you guys might have realized that I am not a mental health care professional.

All I want to do is start a dialog. To get Pete thinking. To get him to realize that within his grasp, are brothers, folks who care. Folks that have been where he has been, and are willing to talk.
Some of those folks ARE professionals, and have expertise in dealing with just his sort of issues.

That is what I am seeking to kick start, a process.

You are a good man

Take him with you on one your outdoor adventures, Sam.

Lots of quiet time and solitude on a hiking trail to get a good dialogue going between the two of you.

Share a campfire with him as well.

Take him fishing.

Yup, I'd take him and some of his buddies on a week or month long fishing/campging/hiking/exploring trip to just decompress in nature and away from the craziness of this modern world.