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Hang tuff, it WILL get better.
I got divorced after 26 years.6 months later, met a gal who will do anything for me. She took hunter safety and hunted turkey and deer last year. She just bought a Nosler M48 280AI and we just applied for antelope tags in WY. Life is pretty good! More importantly, my 2 daughters saw what their mother did to me. I took the high road and won big time on all accounts.
Keep the faith, you and your son will do well in life.
JD338
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...I will never forgive her. Once you realize and admit that your marriage failed because of what you and your wife did and didn't do, you will see that blaming her for everything is what prevents you from moving on.
"There's more to optics than meets the eye."--anon
"...most of us would be better off losing half a pound around the waist than half a pound on our rifle."--dhg
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I'd answer his questions about mommy honestly. Not at this point. That's horrible advice. Travis It IS horrible advice. Tell him something like this: "Your Mom and I started out as good friends. Then we got married so we could have you.Now we are going back to being good friends again". That's sort of how I explained the deal to my six year old Grandkids when I split from their Grandmother last year. It satisfied them. I had a shrink tell me that it was my responsibility to tell kids what happened. His reasoning was: "What - do you want them to grow up thinking that they can love someone with all their heart, & give 'til it hurts, but then things just 'might not work out'? That's bullshidt, and it might very well keep them from ever having a meaningful relationship with a woman. They need to know that if they both keep their pants on, they've got a fighting chance at making it: certainly no guarantees, but they'll at least have a good shot at it. But if either of them go chasing ass outside of the marriage, they're screwed (so to speak). Obviously, you don't tell them this today [the boys were 9 and under at the time], but they're gonna have to know this by the time they get to the age where they're gonna be dating women somewhat seriously. And by the time it comes to have that talk with them, you'll probably be to the point where you don't have to begin it with, 'That lying' whore... ' ". His advice seems to have worked out pretty well. Still, at no point did I tell them that we were going to be good friends. I'll not lie to my kids. FC
"Every day is a holiday, and every meal is a banquet."
- Mrs. FC
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Campfire Outfitter
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Even birds know not to land downwind!
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
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I had a shrink tell me that it was my responsibility to tell kids what happened. His reasoning was:
"What - do you want them to grow up thinking that they can love someone with all their heart, & give 'til it hurts, but then things just 'might not work out'? That's bullshidt, and it might very well keep them from ever having a meaningful relationship with a woman. They need to know that if they both keep their pants on, they've got a fighting chance at making it: certainly no guarantees, but they'll at least have a good shot at it. But if either of them go chasing ass outside of the marriage, they're screwed (so to speak). Obviously, you don't tell them this today [the boys were 9 and under at the time], but they're gonna have to know this by the time they get to the age where they're gonna be dating women somewhat seriously. And by the time it comes to have that talk with them, you'll probably be to the point where you don't have to begin it with, 'That lying' whore... ' ".
His advice seems to have worked out pretty well.
Still, at no point did I tell them that we were going to be good friends. I'll not lie to my kids.
FC
I would agree with that. My kids have asked some questions and I have told them they can read every document and e-mail I have when I decide they're old enough. My son has asked direct questions to which he has gotten direct answers but he is emotionally mature for his age. My daughter can ask those same questions when I decide she can. There is no sugar coating in my house but there is no unnecessary information or bashing given either. Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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"I'll not lie to my kids."
In my case, it wasn't a lie.
The point is that you can find little snippets of truth appropriate for their level of understanding.
"Your Mom has a lot of good qualities, but.......... " is a good lead in.
Never holler whoa or look back in a tight place
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Campfire Sage
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"Your Mom has a lot of good qualities, but.......... " "...since my dick wasn't attached to the neighbor's body, I can't speak to any of them." Something like that? Clark
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Campfire Regular
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...I will never forgive her. Once you realize and admit that your marriage failed because of what you and your wife did and didn't do, you will see that blaming her for everything is what prevents you from moving on. Truth spoken. Make a choice to realize you had some responsibility....even if it means missing red flags in the relationship. You are not a victim. Once you come to this conclusion, you feel empowered to move on and never look back.
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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"Your Mom has a lot of good qualities, but.......... " "...since my dick wasn't attached to the neighbor's body, I can't speak to any of them." Something like that? Clark Problem with that is you are admitting you were so stupid you married a bitch who had not one redeeming quality. Of course, if that is the case...... confession is good for the soul. But the kid is gonna look at you funny the rest of his life. Always thinking,"What a Dumbass".
Never holler whoa or look back in a tight place
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
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Problem with that is you are admitting you were so stupid you married a bitch who had not one redeeming quality.
Of course, if that is the case...... confession is good for the soul.
But the kid is gonna look at you funny the rest of his life. Always thinking,"What a Dumbass".
We'll add humor to the list of things a Texan can always [bleep] up. Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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Forgiveness is for Jesus, we're human fuuk that!
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Flave, that is sofa king Zen like, and as they say "you cannot step in the same river twice".
WTF? You and kamo been sippin' the saki together? Of course you can step in the same river twice. Get out, step back in. I think your being surrounded by Pollocks is making you stupid. Travis Easy pilgrim. You are in over your head here.
When its time to fight, you fight like you are the third monkey on the ramp to get on Noah's Arc... and brother, it is starting to rain!
The chair is against the wall.
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"No man ever steps into the same river twice." Attributed to Heraclitus, as noted in Plato's Cratylus. Clark don't care. it still be Zen like for him.
When its time to fight, you fight like you are the third monkey on the ramp to get on Noah's Arc... and brother, it is starting to rain!
The chair is against the wall.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
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Easy pilgrim.
You are in over your head here.
I better call kamo. Dave
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
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"No man ever steps into the same river twice." Attributed to Heraclitus, as noted in Plato's Cratylus. Clark don't care. it still be Zen like for him. Now we're supposed to care what some dirty Greek had to say. Get real. Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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DC223 -Sorry for your loss and congratulations on your new start. Never been in this particular situation, but it seems the pendulum always swings the other way. Things will get better. Very impressed by our very own Dr. Phil. Hear Ye, Hear Ye! 'Flave has a soul! I wonder what his hourly rate is for these internet therapy sessions and if comes with a complimentary dream catcher made by Dr. 'Flave. 
"A Republic, if you can keep it." ~ B. Franklin
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"Very impressed by our very own Dr. Phil. Hear Ye, Hear Ye! 'Flave has a soul! I wonder what his hourly rate is for these internet therapy sessions and if comes with a complimentary dream catcher made by Dr. 'Flave."
Purely the influence of the Shrap.
When its time to fight, you fight like you are the third monkey on the ramp to get on Noah's Arc... and brother, it is starting to rain!
The chair is against the wall.
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
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dogcatcher223, all you need to know about life is just 3 words. It Goes On.
The degree of my privacy is no business of yours.
What we've learned from history is that we haven't learned from it.
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Campfire Outfitter
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I had a shrink tell me that it was my responsibility to tell kids what happened. Agreed. With caveats: First, you tell them in a way that does not force them to take sides. If you drag them in, you will lose. They're going to get to the truth in the long run. If you lie, they will bust you. You may gain something in the short run but in the long run, you'll lose more. Second, what you tell them has to be age-appropriate, filtered so they understand, but without "spin." That's a place where having a shrink to help you separate "enough" from "too much" could be a good thing. Tom
Anyone who thinks there's two sides to everything hasn't met a M�bius strip.
Here be dragons ...
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