Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Safariman on again

Frank is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Frank turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"Sex," he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old toot. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Frank says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige with that," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Frank's thingie.

Then one night Frank didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find him and make sure he is O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Frank's little Pal.

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing son-of-a-gun! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Frank smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

$200 sent to a Gofundme page in your name.

FYI, the leading cause of thumb cancer is excessive exposure to one's own rectal area.

No but I still have the two girls (Sophie and Sally).
Thanks for asking though,,, I think about him every day.

The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk.

Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply.

So, they brought the cow over from Sicily.

It was absolutely wonderful. It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Sicily?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Sicily.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Sicily?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Sicily."

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'?"

Not a veterinarian de'flave, sorry can't help with the lab's toe issues.

Get ahold of Eyeball asap!

Is Rob going to get all weepy again?

Break out the boxing gloves.

Your ass-holeness is boundless Loco.

Only to the deserving.

Good stuff BD, but this ain't the time to be making jokes.

Biscuit means business and 'flave has a growth on his thumb.

Good ones Digital Dan. You must have nice stash.

LOL !!

Soooooo, I just want to be clear about this.

Rattler stayed with ScottF then left for parts unknown, and left behind some stuff, then set it up so that ScottF would bring it down to NM, then ScottF couldn't make it so Seafire, drove to Portland to pick it up and hauled it down to NM. On the way there it rained and some of Seafires gear got wet and some of Rattlers gear got less wet because Seafire treated it special. Then when Seafire got to MN Rattler didn't say thank you enough or give Seafire $200, so no Rattler can't have an opinion about Safariman scamming old people and forum members for financial gain. Now Rattler has to gift a random forum member $200 so that he isn't a hypocrite at which point he will be able to once again express his opinion about the subject.



Right? TFF

Gays are involved?

That WAS funny! I really did LOL.
I'm telling ya,,, Rick should charge admission.

And 'flave has a growth on his thumb.

In more ways than one

Yup,,,, that's about it.

This post needs to be pinned to the top for newbies.