The recent outcry over the pronouncements of a certain Japanese Mayor proclaiming sex slaves are essential for wartime troop morale, got me working on a better solution - the Cyborg Sex Slave! Advantages:

- Won't talk back
- Hates shopping
- Has no parents so no Mother-in-law issues
- Can be programed to cook you favorite cusine
- Upgradable to include domestic chores
- Does not become pregnant, get fat, or worry that their clothes make their butt look big.
- NO PMS!

Here is a photo of quality control inspection on our first prototype:


If there is popular demand, we can expand our line to include other models. Please post pictures of designs you want to reach our production line. Prices on request.

Ingwe has ordered:

HooooBoooooy!

This could be the best thred EVER!!!

Keep 'em coming!

Virgil B.

I dream of Jeannie model

Photos from Training Camp:

In keeping with the teutonictitwillow theme, my Sexcretary:




And bodyguards:

Have to order another ton and a half of silicon for those.

She can be my bodyguard , and hold my gun anytime.

Along with the standard Jayne M specs, I want mine to sing like the 40 YO Emmylou Harris. Works better than recreational Viagra.

$800 extra for musical talent and guitar

we will need someone to fetch beers..

[quote=hatari]$800 extra for musical talent and guitar

OK.

But it better not sound anything remotely like Stephen [bleep] Hawkings.

I remember this TV show when I was a kid that had Julie Newmar as this guys personal robot! I thought she would be cool to have around the house even then!!!
Her pre-Catwoman days!!!

Bob

Sign me up for that. I think Julie is a good addition to our "Classics" line.

You can expect only the best from Hatari Enterprises. You won't get Stephen Hawkins voice, you get the good stuff:

Having some technical problems with this model. Makes good love, but then shoots the owner. Terminator Black Widow model. Send it to your enemies as a peace (piece?) offering.

She is still hot. Another Julie model

I'd like a porch girl model. Where the heck is that pic...?

Eric

Remember her as "Stuptifyn' Jones"????

More for the "classic" line;

Bettye Page
Veronica Lake
Vivian Leigh ( byw, a bona fide nympho!)
Rita Hayworth
Betty Grable
Hedy Lamarr
Linda Darnell
Jane Russell

More like bad bolt on boobs model.

Digging this classic model:

Porch girl and Fridge girl are in our Domestic lineup. Porch girl can cook on the grill and skin a deer. Fridge girl cooks line Giada and can do gymnastic floor excercise.

Just added to our Modern Classics Line - Paulina!

Found it!

You're gonna be a rich man Hatari!

I was wondering if there room for one more in your fine collection?

I will add her to the Armed Forces Line. Any other likely candidates for Armed Forces Line?

Orders so far:

Ingwe - Leopard girl

Kaywoodie - has a woodie for Classic Julie Newmar model

Jorge - Ordered the entire Teutonic Boulder Boobs 4 pack. (Buy 3 get on free!)

Carbon12 - Ordered Classics Jayne Mansfield with the Emmylou Harrie upgrade

EricM - Porch girl from our Domestic Line

12344mag- pay tribute to our Armed Forces

Business is good fellas, keep those orders coming!

I'll take two ginger models:

Snork!

Bound to be a big seller!

How about the "Classic Girl Next Door" line?

This technology has potential.

Can I get an upgrade so those boobies can dispense my favorite beverages? I'm not really into milk, how about Scotch or Rum & Coke?

Who is the girl on the porch?

I do see potential.

Only problem is, to meet government rules and regulations I'm sure they come preprogrammed to be PC and liberal as well have ODC intelligence factor. I am just sure of that.

THAT is just creepy.
And could mean the end of the Japanese race!

Reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode...
Why just the hand? Because you didn't need the rest!

Now That is durn near perfect.
NO sillycone needed

Nice cap!

That is why you buy from Hatari Enterprises. Infidel Ed guarantees all of our CSS's to be totally apolitical. However, they will automatically turn off any TV showing CNN or MSNBC.

...Jeannie looks like a tramp with a hose.

This thred has as much potential as the ABC's thred!

I'll take one of the girls with the nice cap! (GRIN!)

Virgil B.

Gives new respect to the military. Haven't seen the blueprint for the Navy model yet.

Heather Locklear! I have a buddy who did his undergrad at UCLA and had her in a class when she first started on TV with William Shatner in TJ Hooker. She was probably 18 at the time. He said in real life, she was thin and lithe as could be, and still be stunning! Said everybody stared slack jawed every time she entered the room, guys and the girls. Claimed her beauty defined description.

That pretty much sums my impression of meeting Farrah Faucet while she was filming one of the Cannonball! movies in ATL with Burt. Being in my late teens talking to Farrah when she was at her hottest darn near saw me pass out from lack of blood! If we make that model, I'm keeping the prototype.

Alpha Strike:



Flight Lead:

The ones in the first mock up seem to have some pent up hostility. Somebody has not been keeping them satisfied. Or maybe you turned them loose on TRH??

Better idea - We'll build those for real Boarder Security. Image Chui returning to Chihuahua and having to explain to the Drug Lord that a a group of naked, big breasted blonde women kicked their butt and took their stash??

Under the Shuto expressway at Roppongi Crossing, circa 1982, a gaggle of yoots fled from some extraordinarily perturbed members of the Tokyo constabulary, who were damned and determined to apprehend said yoots. But being fleet of foot and desperate of mind, said yoots were as determined to evade Tokyo's finest as they were on clicking steel bracelets and stuffing the yoots into some godforsaken bullpen.

One of the yoots, too busy swiveling his gaze behind him as he shot across an intersection packed with pedestrians to look where he was heading, piled headlong into a body. A female body, with golden locks. Said body came off of her feet, crashing backwards onto the blacktop with a thud that only a human bean can make.

As the downtrodden, poor, misunderstood lad was more desperate to escape than to display his chivalrous side, he only managed a fleeting "I'm so sorry, lady!", as he picked himself up and got back to pumping leg to get the hell out of there. He did make brief eye contact with the innocent, pitiful woman, who was young and pretty and...WTF!, IT'S THE 6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN'S OLD LADY!

Sorry, Farrah!

Good times. And no, the yoots didn't end up in the juvenile crowbar detention facility that day.

How did I get roped into this fiendish plot? All I do is program the surveillance function, er, uh, I mean the "preferences" function so they remember what the individual likes and doesn't like.

Not that any acts are recorded, or anything like that, that might be used to "assist" in purchasing new upgrades, new models, payments in small, unmarked bills, etc...

Ed

What had you done to make you run without stopping for FF?

You volunteered, and by doing so I kept that "Baa Baa Black Sheep" Party footage off Youtube.

Just think!
No back talk, never any shopping or worry if you left the toilet seat up..

THIS has REAL potential!

I never said I was involved!

But taking a shot in the dark, just for fun, I imagine it may have had something to do with the ages of the yoots, which ranged from 12-16 and had something to do with 3 borrowed motorcycles, two of which were crashed into police cars, and that even at that tender age, knew enough to know that apologizing to the famous blonde broad wouldn't count for spit if Tokyo's finest made a collar. But then that's just a wild guess.

my ex

Shameful behavior from successful, achieved and influential men.

I love the titts on that flight lead Ho'!

Yep! She's proud of those puppies! As she should be!

You can stick any wig ya want on R2D2,...paint its face up with the most high dollar lipstick and mascara that the homos offer,...I still ain't porkin' it.

A fat girl in Converse All Stars ain't nuthin' ta write home about,.. but gimme her over a circuit board with a puzzy any day.

There goes your shot at co-starring in "Jackass 5"

Bristoe saw the thread about the hornet's nest and made the (electrical) connection.

Smart man.

I wasn't so embarrassed about that night as I was shamed by Travis bursting in, exposing himself, and giving his best "donkey bray".

Between Travis and Ingwe, the "party girls" were all taken, so I had to rely on the prototype you sent for Testing & Evaluation seen here;





Ed

Sorry about the big hair on that one. Had some left over after JGRaider order the Sinead O'Conner model. I gave him a discount. Felt sorry for him, if that is his thing.

Oh, hell! One escaped.

Look out for a tall blonde with too much make up and really strong thighs. She wearing hip boots and a leopard print thong. Might be headed to Montana.

Photo below:

You too?

Glad that you were not involved in any way. I might have thought less of you if it was discovered you had a wild and violent youth.

Is that the one you were prepping for Anderson Silva?

Ed

GDammit Ed! Can't you get program the production computer properly? WTF were you thinking?????

I said we had an order for Hillary (Fisher):



Not freaking Hillary:



Get your butt back into the lab and destroy that nasty one.

Looking at that makes me think of a young Barbra Streisand.

Don't blame me, YOU'RE the one who sent the work order in with the following requirement;

One (1) each nastiest female or reasonable facsimile thereof, must have world-class snapper and looks that would kill!

Ed

I do not have the picture but how about Galexina in the sifi move way back when HOT HOT HOT
In real life she was the Playboy Bunny that was killed by here boy friend.

Programing error!

Nope. That's before the finishing touches were made on the lass there. The eye socket will be hollowed out, and then she'll be ready to be adopted by some DBFR (damaged but filthy rich) fella with a serious case of sexual deviance involving mutations/deformities.

Ours are waterproofed.

He ain't man enough for that one.

OMG the lass in the TOP (I said top pic, you jabronis) is dang near a look alike for my first uh, er, love. Debbie Mc___


I may have been struck by a thunderbolt again! my fave posted here evah!


and the bottom one? if that's all there was to choose from, I could understand how guys could join the priesthood and become celibate

I have to see how she stands up to the test of time. But she and Jessica Alba are definitely contenders in the race to replace Valerie Bertinelli and Sally Field as my top all time honeys.

It's going to be tough for either of them to be hotter than "Frog".

Me too. At the time I imagine I was tucked into bed dreaming of my next knitting project or some such.

What if you wear one out in a couple of weeks?

Two things;

First, you get hired as "Quality Control".

Second, you get a genital transplant because you would have worn the first set down to nubs.

Ed

That covers the "bennies" do I have to QC the Hillary Clinton,Michelle Obama or any other ugly sex slave?

Hint Wageslave would be PERFECT for the ugly Cyborg Sex Slave.

"QC" means you get ALL of them.

Just as with my programming job, I have to deal with all of them, too.

At least you don't have to sift through the hormonal whining and screaming if some guy orders the "full emotional package"!

You wouldn't believe the sick dudes out there who are closet masochists and actually ORDER that package!

Ed

Ok schit I can wear ear plugs and put bags over the heads of the ugly ones.

Then it'd be time to switch over to one of my other favorite childhood passions: needlepoint, church choir or baking cupcakes. In that order.

And we're supposed to take the word of a one-lunged, cigarette smoking, raw fish-eating, scooter riding, gun toting, whiskey drinking, world-class gourmand and photographer who is married to an extraordinarily wonderful woman, that these are your hobbies?!?!

You're killin' me!

Ed

I'll take two:

I hate to break the news to you, but she is the master pattern for the "full emotional package" I mentioned above.

Besides, The Grand Ayatoldyaso has already claimed the entire first run of that model for himself. Sick,sick puppy...

Ed

Wow. I guess that kind of flattery needs some kindness in return. Humble thanks.

Look for a set of knitted ear muffs and a batch of yummy spiced carrot cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting in about a month. Any color preference on the muffs? On hand I think have a funky salmon-fuchsia, a fun robin's egg blue or a brilliant vermilion with undertones of lavender. Lemme' know.

Two of the full emotion package couldn't be 1/2 as bad as my wife and three daughters.

Let me know when the second run starts.

Larry Root just ordered. This needs testing before it is shipped. I don't care to whom you delegate this one. Give them a bonus if you need to. I charged Root double.

Just when I thought Id seen the most disturbing image on the 'fire......


I was wrong again!

I QUIT!!

Three daughters...Hmmm and you seem half sane, Must be because of all the time you spend on the internet.

One daughter damn near did me in, She's 20 and has a serious boyfriend now. Thank God no more [bleep]' boys snooping around anymore. Wife said there was a time when she thought for sure I was gonna go to jail.

Larry ordered his twin?

Can exact copy of an existing individual be made?

If so I want to put an order in. If something happens to my wife/mother of my kids, I want an exact copy. She's that great....

Not possible at this time. At least until we come up with a way of prototype testing, programming, and QC that doesn't involve interaction with other guys, namely me and elkhunternm.

Personally, I'd prefer that YOU did all the work on that one, just to maintain integrity.

Ed

I guess I could give them to my gay son...

Many thanks for the thought, though. Liar.



Ed

Then it's gonna cost you more than you can pay, cause I am NOT going to go anywhere NEAR that thing, much less sub it out to anyone we currently do business with!

You need to sub that job out to your local mortician.

Ed

grinning here. I might guess that someone has a better half who reads the 'Fire.

That could be, too. I know that mine is that special!
And no, she doesn't look at the 'Fire.

Ed

I hear what you are saying, for some reason I have more grey hair now then I did before I had daughters. So far I've been very blessed. They are very good girls, they are not attracted to the "bad boy" types, and choose their friends carefully. They do have their mothers looks which will significantly complicate my job in years to come....

lol...she doesn't read the 'Fire (that I know of). I married up and want to hedge my bets to avoid getting stuck with someone I'm worthy of...

Getting stuck with someone I deserve??????

I really don't know if I could bear that. A wise man recognizes the worthiness of a good woman.

If I decide to order, it must have great legs, and elegantly arched eyebrows...

When you have a daughter.....All boys are bad!

Told my daughter that she cannot start dating until the day AFTER I die.

Super Hero Comic Book model

Modern Classic

The WGAF model, I like it. I bet Jorge does too.

? Again, don't care, I like it.

Gawd, I think Jorge's ordered just doubled!

More than doubled. I heard that he pawned his double-guns to make the deposit payments.

Ed

I'll be busy for a couple weeks doing QC for JorgeI.

I thought you quit?!?!?

Ed

I did and the boss hired me back with the stipulation of no QC on cross-dressers,transvestites or any Hillary,Michelle or Nancy Pelosi et al...

Suck up.

Obviously, The Grand Ayatoldyaso likes you better.

He's gonna have to give me a raise.

Ed

Will this suffice?

Nothing like this eh?

That's quite a satisufficing pictoure....

I think she has water in her ear. Want to help her out, Ed?

Subcontracted the freaky stuff to an outfitter run by someone named Maser.

Worked all weekend on this model.

Let me name that one -- "Backdraft"

John

Nah, I just postponed my safari until 2015...

Please add this model:

Weirdly, the young Kelly Lebrock model got me curious enough to ask: How efficient is the self-cleaning cycle? If used as intended, it is going to be fouled often and repeatedly.

I love my job! Thanks JorgeI!

Hatari you are #1 boss.

Throw it in the dishwasher and it should be fine. Ed experimented with Hoppe's #9 and JB Bore paste, but there were some complaints. I won't go into detail.

Don't you forget it, either. Break time is over. Need your report on the MILF model. That one keeps eating doughnuts and flashing the UPS guy. Please do something about that.

Ok boss,the report is that it's Rosie O'Donnel and the "UPS guy" is Eleanor Degeners.

Particularly if you knock the teeth out, make the ears bigger and put a flat spot on top of the noggin.

As cool as she is, don't think the wife is going to appreciate spanked lady parts in her dishwasher. It is a cyborg for god's sake! It should be self-cleaning from the git go. Hint: Massengill is old school.

Ok, we can make it self cleaning. We can add a Radium insert.

Ed found that it has certain, um, side effects. No disease, but parts of him glow in the dark.

I think back to "The Courtship Of Eddie's Father"... in which the son said, "Don't go for on of those with the slitty eyes!"

Good advice. Every time I've gone against it, I've been burned. I'm just sayin'.

The i and u are close together on the keyboard, just verifying that you meant to type "slitty"?

The next sentences could go with either one.

Roger that, confirmed again.

Slitty eyes.

And shame on you for not thinking I know the difference between an "i" and a "u", or would lack the typing skills to differentiate.

I am insulted, mortified.

Aw, WTF. GFY.

Radium bad, Tritium good. I was trying for glow-in-the-dark guidance so no one would "overshoot" or "undershoot" the approach and hit the wrong spot in the dark.

Now I'm known as a "real bright guy".

Try explaining THAT to your wife.

Ed

ColKlink will be delight to know that the Cobb County Board of education has just placed a huge order with us under the heading of Summer Homework.

https://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbth..._My_Kid_Learned_About_Wet_Dr#Post7753960

Any pics of the educational models ordered?

They are choosing from the ones listed above. I vetoed MILF Plus size.

I'm crushed...

The Robert Palmer model

You could be by some of those you ogle!

Better than dying of piles...

Has to be a "Hot 4 Teacher" model....

*You* can still order one. Cobb Co. Board of Ed ain't getting any. The football coaches will steal them.

Excellent news! please use the picture provided previously as your standard

Boss can you talk with Ed,he's putting something "different" in the Cougar models,they are wearing the customers down to a nub and making there nuts black & blue. Not that they are complaining but,the customers need sleep.

A friend ordered from a cheap Chinese knockoff competitor. I warned him.



Ya get what you pay for!

Bob

Ed must have hit the Override on the Sofia "Viagra" model.
You can reset them by downloading the Jimmy Choo Shoe Catalog and saving it on their hard drive. That calms them down. Here's one we had to recalibrate:

Rachel from Blade Runner comes to mind.

K, that one's going in the chick file...

"Rachel" has an upcharge because she can be programmed with any other woman's memory, but we erase all the bad stuff - like the night you came home at 4 am with your drunk buddies and wanted her to make breakfast, or the time she found Ingwe's leopard thong in your hunting duffle - you know, that sort of thing.

For those who have asked, here is a photo of Ed in the workshop:

Ed,

I'm taking off Friday and Monday. You and Elkhead can take off Friday at noon if you get the orders filled (sic).

DO NOT take home one of these for the weekend! They get loose and are hell to recapture, even with GPS.

Friday at noon,GREAT! I'm going to take home a new prototype "porn star and weather girl." She'll $^%&^& only during weather events,such as a "wind storm or a blizzard".

Ed says he'll take her home and "recalibrate" her, whatever that means.

HEY! You said you weren't going to post that! The prototypes are in that pic and we don't need anyone else making a knockoff.

I have enough trouble with hackers trying to insert the "Aunt Bea" personality into the MILF model without worrying about someone seeing the prototypes and getting the idea of inserting the "Ellen Degenerate" or "Nappy" personalities.

Ed

Memorial Day Sale!


Hatari Enterprises is now a spurious sponsor of Rick Binladen's site, and want to cut all of you in on our introductory deal.

From the wicked minds of Infidel Ed and Elkhead, we have on special our Beach Stereo model!

- Sunproof, waterproof, sand proof. Perfect for this weekend's trip to the beach.

- Receives AM, FM, Pandora, IHeart, XM, and even XL - according to Ed.

- Wi FI compatable

- Interfaces with all known "adaptors"

- Serves beer, will clean up after the BBQ

Sale ends Friday noon! (Ed and Elkhunter are off afterwards)

Bad news boss,this model was sent to TRH as a practical joke and he will not return it.

ok dont stop now! the slaves need to be tuned.

Don't worry. This model will kick HIS ass and return him to us in the shipping crate.

She didn't really walk down the street wearing that??

Oh God I hope so!

Malibu baby!

Ed/Elk,

We've had some warranty returns. What did these people do over the weekend? Do we need more warning labels? Jeez..............

Ok , well THAT is about perfect!

Don't fall for that, Boss! It's a scam. Someone broke into the mannequin factory next door on Friday night and stole their stock. Probably thought it was our shop. Now they are trying to get OUR models in exchange.

If you look closely you can see that the makeup isn't as good on their stuff and there's no stubble.

Ed

Bill Clinton broke into the next door mannequin factory for his weekend party,dang he is hard on those models. We WILL NOT sale your models to Bill Clinton,he uses cigars in a most disgusting way.

Glad to see my crack staff is on top (ahem) of things.

I've been working on the Christina Hendricks variant....

If you only knew WHAT really goes on in the lab and in QC.

I assume you are browsing the Redheads Collection



Please note: There is an upcharge to tame some of the "attitude" issues that are inherent in this Series. Also, to purchase, you must send in a photocopy of your Man Card and a notarized copy of your latest blood work proving you have testosterone levels above the 75th percentile.

Metro-leaning men are prohibited from ordering from this Series. Liability issues and all. If you live within 4 blocks of anyone that had an Obama yard sign, you might not be man enough.

If you put your children to bed by reading them Jules Verne or Hemingway, then you probably qualify for this model.

You attended my retirement and validated my credentials

the cyborg sex slaves from deflaves neck of the woods

[img:left][/img]

He's the reason we stopped offering free shipping.

Ed

You forgot "handling" Ed.

NO, I did not forget. I can never forget "handling" those. I still have nightmares...

Talk about PTSD!


Ed

YOU HANDLED! I'm QC,my wanker is still MAD at me.

Where did you find the photo of SACharlie ?????

Some things are best left alone.

You have approval to order. You get a 50 point bump in testosterone for every night trap alone.

Well hell in the Vikings, well over 60& of my traps were at night!

Your model will come installed with a third wire to keep you from falling in. No extra charge.

I'll take the standard four wires please