Some vets cope with things very differently.
Some were already a bit messed up before they joined. That said, the ones that don't have stickers all over their vehicles, and don't wear shirts that say "dysfunctional veteran" aka attention seekers, often don't get the help they need for a variety of reasons. One major problem is that there are a MASSIVE amount of vets claiming PTSD who are completely full of KRAP. Unfortunately it has become another way to get a bigger check each month from Uncle Sugar, so many (both men and women) who never actually even heard a shot fired in anger are claiming PTSD now.
Your guy may be one of the legit guys, and is struggling with it. Often the legit guys cope with drugs and alcohol, because they know no other way, and the VA is a clusterFluck. It is hard to discuss the issues they have with people who have not had similar experiences, so they don't open up about things. It is also not always about actual stress from combat. It is the stress of being away from home and being helpless to control what may be happening there too. Many spouses, girlfriends run wild, spending the Joe's money, screwing other dudes, taking their kids from them, etc, and the Joe is on the other side of the planet, not able to do a thing about it.
Maybe get a hold of the hotel and leave your number for the guy, and tell him you'd like to come visit. Take him fishing, take him to a BBQ whatever, your treat. Something low key, non stressful. Odds are he does not have 2 nickles to rub together. Also look to see if there are non VA associated veteran's support groups in your area.
Take it slow. I did something similar last year for a young dude, fresh out, who needed to get to Montana for a job. His truck was broke down and he was living in a crappy hotel room, and had ended up with some tickets from the local police, that he had to wait around to deal with. The problem was, waiting around to take care of them was killing his very meager savings. I ended up talking to a buddy who worked for that department,and we explained the situation to the prosecutor. She dropped the charges, so he could get going on up to Montana before he lost his job opportunity.
Small things can mean a lot, even if the person does not realize it until years later, when they are thinking a little more clear.
Having done two Iraqi tours myself in the Marines, and knowing that Mackay has BTDT, the above is all true.
If you see a pickup with an absurd amount of motto stickers and the dude always wears the shirts, he likely was a garrison Marine who thought Okinawa was a "deployment", or maybe spent time on Camp Blue Diamond with MEF or Division.... Nothing wrong with that...as they're absolutely necessary but it does paint a pretty reliable picture.
To the OP, good on ya....if you do keep in touch with him let him know there are options. I still deal with getting my Marines and Sailors the help they need, to the legal extent that I can. The VA can be worthless, depending on the particular office, but luckily they're not the only option. There's likely a local county veterans extension or some non-profit group he can look into, if need be.
