Someone on a jeep forum (you guys have been more help) said "it has to be a bad head gasket".
I've replaced a few head gaskets and this one has no symptoms. Pressure test is good, nothing in the oil, nothing out of ordinary coming out of the exhaust. Not gassing out of the radiator and not leaking a drop anywhere, nor is the coolant level changing. Also seems to be running great and each exhaust port is within 10 degree of one another.
