One thing you better dang well better do is get the paperwork in order for the both of you in terms of Powers of Attorney and/or a will /trust. Find yourself a trustee in case of YOUR incapacity. As for post-death, name, and NOTIFY someone you would trust with your life (because that's what it is), not necessarily family, to administer your affairs in your best interest. Pick ONE person to be in charge, don't share anything because all that does is make the paperwork twice as hard to deal with.
Doing these things will NOT get any easier if you wait. Get after it while you still can understand what the heck you're doing..
