The Onion is a more reliable source. If you're serious you've been had.

"NewsPunch is a Los Angeles-based fake news website known for spreading conspiracy theories and political misinformation peddling fake news, mixed in with real news stories." Wiki

Maybe you can make something of the current Onion leade: World Wildlife Fund Apologizes After Years Of Working With Well-Known Whale Pedophile

The key elements in human thinking are not numbers but labels of fuzzy sets. -- L. Zadeh

Which explains a lot.