My favorite Gunsmoke episode involved Festus getting bitten by a dog that had, unbeknownst to him, just ate a toad. Festus thought he'd caught the hydrophoby, and had to take three guys into custody in the nearby town. George Lindsay was one of the miscreants, and they went to beat up Festus, and he bit every one of them. It was funny as hell.

You can roll a turd in peanuts, dip it in chocolate, and it still ain't no damn Baby Ruth.