Look, this is obviously Trump's fault since he pulled us out of the Paris Climate Agreement. But all is not lost. Praise Jebus. We are blessed, truly blessed I tells ya, that we will have the Dynamic Environmental Duo of Kamel-Toe Hairass and Basement Biden to lead the country, which will prevent these environmental catastrophes from ever happening again. Hallelujah!

l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
- Del Gue