Frequency grease, stops all them hi pitched noises , great for ear drops too .
If the wife being nosy , take a small medicine bottle , a long single wood screw . Put bottle a foot above door jam with a hole drilled in bottom of bottle.
Get some of those party poppers , add some string , put string through hole drilled in bottle after cutting paper machet case off , put hook on door , tie string so you got just enough slack to in hook it when you want to leave building , now fill the bottle with flash powder and wait 😎
