Recoil is highly subjective.
I've never shot a 9mm, even the small polymer Kahr guns, that were as painful and violent as a S&W Airweight with small grips.
Unless I put giant rubber grips on the 15 ounce guns, I can't stand them.
That's why, after trying to carry and shoot Airweights for years, I finally sold my last one and got rid of my ammo.
Steel .38 revolvers are much more pleasant to shoot, but no fun carry.
That said, it's all in what you train with and get used to.
I sold my last 638 Airweight with a Scandium cylinder to a guy who told me he immediately took it to the range and put 500 rounds through it.
I wouldn't have been able to feel my hand for a week!
