Fourbore,

Irony is the highest form of humor.
Hilarious, your post.
A proposed load for the deep pockets victim of bore envy:
.700 NE 3.5" with 1000-grainer in 24" barrel: 190.0 gr. RL-17 >>> 2068 fps MV
Only 77% LR/net fill, use foam wad filler, or Dacron if you like a snow storm.

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Can't afford a .700 NE H&H Royal double rifle?
Use some duct tape around the forearms and butts of a pair of break-open singles.
RL-17 ignites readily with a 209 shotgun primer, no hangfire worries.
Turned brass cases are available in both 3.5" or 3.85" lengths for either
.730 NE 3.5" or .730 NE 3.85":

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Bare rifles (with scope base only) each weigh 10.25 lbs, including iron rod or mercury tubes in butt stocks.
Muzzle brake and golf ball launcher each add a pound of weight, interchangeable between rifles.
Also add weight of scope and rings.
Also add weight of slip-on butt pad and sling, if desired.

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20 ga From Purgatory 3.5" (aka .615 NE 3.5") is at extreme left above, with 920-gr flat base slug, mould also by Steve Brooks.
Rest are various 12 ga 3.5" to 3.85", including one of the 3.85" cases made from a 50 BMG case with 12 ga rim screwed onto it,
made by Nobozo, Ltd.
My rifles work only with the turned brass from RMC.

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Ron aka "Rip" for Riflecrank Internationale Permanente
NRA Life Benefactor and Beneficiary
.458 Winchester Magnum, Magnanimous in Victory
THE WALKING DEAD does so remind me of Democrap voters. Donkeypox.