Had a head-on MVA in 1991.
Lying in the ER with a broken, dislocated hip and a crushed heel. They have already cut my clothing off, I can't walk and I haven't peed in several hours.
I tell a tech, "I gotta pee! BIG time!"
A minute or two later, some rube comes in and starts shoving a catheter into place. 🤯 I peed all over him, the gurney, ran into the floor and still had plenty for the bag! LOL!
2015 - first thing was s prostate check. Offered the doctor a cigarette afterwards. Doc says every thing feels relatively normal, but here's a prescription for "finesteride".
Six months later, no change. Not better. Not worse.
To a urologist.
He signed me up for a "Flowometry Test"!
Totally awake!
No anesthesia, no nothing!
Insert catheter! 😖
Remove catheter! 😳
REinsert catheter! 🤯🤢
Fill bladder with fluid! 😖🥴
Allow bladder to drain. (whew!)
Finally remove catheter the LAST TIME! 🤯😳🥴
"You can get dressed."
Back in the dressing room, there is a toilet!
I STILL need to pee.
I'm standing in front of the toilet, business in hand when a feel my bladder tense and suddenly shove a load of molten lava down my urethra! 🤯🤬
MY PENIS IS ON FIRE!!!!!
Finally survive that little discomfort.
Doc says, "No problem with your prostate, but your bladder is small and weak."
Wife wants Starbucks. Fine, I need to pee again anyway.
Restroom at Starbucks is a repeat of the dressing room.
SOMEBODY STUCK A HOT BRANDING IRON TO MY (uh-huh!)!!!
Jiminy catwhiskers! DAMN that hurts!
For the next two days, any urge to urinate and I break out into a cold sweat! 😖
Since then, I've had a surgery that took some time.
I could tell, I was catheterized during the procedure!
As I age, I feel that little unpleasantry will occur again, but it damned sure won't be by choice!!!!!
Last edited by martinstrummer; 09/15/22.
