Same here. I am a
really good shot with a handgun by any objective standard. Always have been. AAA in Hunter Pistol silhouette. I was out this morning shooting at and hitting an old welding oxygen tank at 200 yards with my little SR22. The 6" ringer at 25 yards was a goner
every shot.
The one time I had to use a handgun in an emergency situation was when a Florida razorback charged me. I missed him three out of four times at a distance of 6-8 feet with a S&W revolver and the one shot I did hit was in his foot.
Thank God he was dead on his feet already or I would have some neat scars to show.
Anyway - that was in my twenties and it taught me two things that have stayed with me over the next 30 years. 1 - a defensive handgun has to hit where your wide open eyes are staring 'cause you probably won't be calmly reciting your mantra of "sight alignment - sight picture - breathe - aim - squeeze". If you're mentally prepared and ready to fight, okay, maybe, but if the SHTF and yells "Surprise!" - you probably won't. 2 - if you have a chance to use something besides a handgun, use it.
Hits are what count, and hits are hard to come by with a a handgun when you're excited and scared sh*tless. Use something you can hit with, everything else is secondary.
